Does Your Partner Mock You Subtly
It's easy to wear rose-colored glasses at the start of a relationship, but it's never a good idea. You need to be on the lookout for red flags, even subtle ones, at the start of a relationship to avoid getting into trouble down the road. Here are 20 red flags to spot at the start of a relationship.
1. A Lack of Respect for Boundaries
During the early stages of a relationship, if you find that your partner dismisses your boundaries, whether they're emotional, physical, or schedule-related, they are expressing a lack of respect for you. Early boundary violations may grow into control issues. Remember, a healthy partner listens to you, respects you, and adjusts when you are uncomfortable.
2. They Speak Poorly About Past Partners
If your new partner consistently blames exes or speaks about them negatively, they are conveying a warning sign about their emotional immaturity. They are also exhibiting a lack of accountability. Healthy people reflect on their past relationships with balance.
3. They Rush the Relationship
Rushing a relationship is called love bombing, and it's a red flag. This intense affection or premature talk about the future can feel flattering, but it often reflects insecurity or a need for control.
4. They Can't Communicate Honestly
Every good relationship needs open, honest, and direct communication. It's a big red flag if your partner avoids tough conversations or gives vague answers. Honest communication is necessary to build trust.
5. They Criticize or Mock You Subtly
If your partner takes a lot of sarcastic jabs at you or gives a lot of backhanded compliments, then they are disrespecting you. These subtle put-downs can harm your self-esteem over time. A caring, thoughtful partner lifts you and doesn't aim to undermine you or your confidence.
6. They're Always the Victim
If you believe that your partner always portrays themselves as being wronged or as a victim, it may signal some emotional manipulation. Constant victimhood can hide their avoidance of personal responsibility.
7. They Isolate You From Others
A partner who discourages you from hanging out with your friends or makes you feel bad about spending time with your family is displaying controlling behavior. Their attempts to isolate you might feel small, but they will grow over time as they strip away your independence.
8. They Have a Temper
Anger that escalates quickly is a red flag, especially when it's over small issues. You should never walk on eggshells with your partner. Yes, everyone gets upset, but if someone has consistent outbursts, it indicates that they lack emotional regulation, and bigger problems could surface.
9. They Avoid Accountability
Look for instances where your partner deflects their bad behavior and tries to turn it around on you. This lack of accountability prevents a couple from growing close and will erode trust over time.
10. They Speak Negatively About Others
If someone criticizes others consistently, they are exhibiting a negative attitude and a lack of empathy. How they speak about other people can tell you how they speak about you when you're not around.
11. They Disrespect Service Workers
Rudeness to servers, cashiers, or retail staff shows how entitled they feel and displays a lack of character. Kindness toward others reflects empathy and humility, both of which are traits you want in a partner.
12. They Show an Inconsistent Effort
If they alternate between being attentive and standoffish, it can create emotional confusion that will be hard to overcome. This hot-and-cold behavior will frustrate you and could mean that they are emotionally unavailable.
13. They Don't Listen
If your new partner frequently interrupts you or checks their phone while you're speaking, they are showing a clear lack of respect. Listening is a form of care, and not listening is a red flag that will appear early in a relationship.
14. They Are Dismissive
A partner who dismisses or invalidates your feelings is waving a red flag in your face. Early in a relationship, gauge how empathetic, supportive, and validating your partner is when you're sharing your feelings.
15. They Lie About Small Things
If your new partner lies about minor details, they will be nearly impossible to trust. Honesty should not be situational, and small lies can lead to bigger ones over time.
16. They Depend on You for Emotional Stability
If someone relies on you to regulate their moods or they constantly beg for reassurance, they are forming an emotional co-dependent relationship with you. Your role in a relationship can't be to save or fix someone.
17. They're Jealous
Mild jealousy is normal, but if your new partner is always suspicious of you or trying to control your actions and behaviors, they are insecure and not ready for a relationship. Trust and independence are the foundation of any relationship.
18. They Don't Respect Your Time
Someone who always shows up late or cancels plans, shows disregard for your schedule and needs. Mutual respect is key to every relationship, especially in the early going.
19. They Avoid Hard Topics
One red flag to look for is if your new partner keeps every conversation at the surface level. They might be refusing to show any vulnerability, which will hinder opportunities to connect more deeply. They might not be ready for a long-term and genuine relationship.
20. They Try to Control Decisions
A controlling partner will want to decide where to go, what to do, and might even tell you what to wear. These power grabs reveal their desire to dominate you, and it's incredibly unhealthy.
