What's in a Name?
It's a long-standing tradition for women to take their spouse's last name after marriage, as it's sometimes seen as solidifying the bond between both. However, given the unfavorable history behind the practice and with the world becoming progressive, some might be against this custom—and that's valid, too. Here are 10 reasons why you shouldn't take your spouse's name and 10 reasons why you should stick to tradition.
1. Work or Professional Reasons
Whether it's because you have your own branding or company, or you've just made a name for yourself professionally, this is a valid reason why you might be against taking your spouse's surname. After all, it wouldn't be fun to have to rename all your achievements under a different name.
2. It's a Hassle
Not only would it be a hassle to change your name due to work or professional reasons, but it would be a hassle overall. Think of all the paperwork you would have to do, all the things you would legally have to change. Sometimes, the headache just isn't worth it.
3. Cultural or Family Reasons
Maybe your family has made a name for itself, or you have strong ties to your culture and heritage. Changing your last name might forever take this away, the last piece that remains of your connection to your ancestry.
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4. Rather a Hyphenated Surname
Instead of taking your spouse's last name entirely, you'd rather adopt a hyphenated name, one that combines both of your identities. This way, there's still a clear bond and symbol of commitment between you both, but it's not so drastic as changing your name altogether.
5. Personal Preference
Or, as it might often be the reason, you just simply don't want to. Maybe you really like your name, or you really don't like your spouse's last name. You think swapping one for the other seems unnecessary in this case, so you choose to not.
6. Religious Reasons
Other times, it might be due to a religious reason. While those with Christian faith might be expected—and pressured—to take their spouse's last name, other religions may not take it as such as serious requirement. For example, it's not typical for Islamic women to take their husband's surname after marriage.
7. What If It Doesn't Last?
We're not trying to discourage you from taking your spouse's last name in the case you folks don't work out, but it could be a possibility. If you both find out later down the road that you'd like to split, it becomes more of a hassle to change everything back to your own name, and you might end up having to stick with it which isn't ideal.
8. Gender Equality
Why are women expected to take their husband's last name, anyway? If you're a strong advocate for women's rights and equality—and even if you aren't—it just seems like you're taking part in an outdated societal norm.
9. Why Should You Follow Tradition?
Similarly, who says you need to follow tradition? The world is much more progressive than it was all those years ago, and it's become less common for names to be changed after marriage. Just because things were done one way back then, that doesn't mean you need to shadow it.
10. You're Your Own Person
At the end of the day, you're your own person. Your identity is your own, and you shouldn't feel the need or be pressured to change it if you don't want to. Plus, you've spent so many years with your name, made so many memories with it, and to just alter it like that seems flippant.
Now that we've covered some of the reasons why you shouldn't take your spouse's name, let's flip the switch and jump into why you should make the change.
1. Simplifying Paperwork
While it could be a hassle initially to deal with paperwork, afterwards it becomes a breeze once you've made the official switch. You won't have to deal with separate accounts due to differing surnames, and instead, things can be joined into one.
2. Sign of Commitment
Taking your spouse's surname can be seen as a sign of commitment: you're here to stay. Of course, there are other ways to display your devotion, but sharing the same last name as the person you agreed to spend the rest of your life with solidifies the gesture.
3. Family Expectations
Whether due to family or societal expectations, you might feel pressured to take your spouse's name. While you shouldn't let this alone influence your decision, especially if you have opposite preferences, it could be a valid reason to make the change if you have a strong desire to fulfill your family's wishes and make them happy.
4. Romantic Gesture
As we mentioned earlier, taking your spouse's last name can be a symbol of commitment. But more than just a show of devotion, it can also be seen as a grand romantic gesture and may give you both a sense of belonging, like you're in this together. After all, it's in your names.
5. Family Unity
If you both decide to have children and grow your family, sharing the same last name lends a sense of unity. You can nickname yourselves as the "Jefferson's" or the "Smith family," which can, again, foster a sense of belonging, and can help deepen the bond among everyone.
6. Avoiding Awkward Questions
While this alone shouldn't be the main reason you decide to change your name, it's certainly something that could influence your final call. After all, it's probably not ideal to be constantly asked, "Oh, why didn't you change your last name?" and having to repeat the same answer every time.
7. Ease for Future Children
Not only might you be faced with awkward questions from your family, friends, and strangers, but these questions could even be directed to your children when they grow up. Sure, your kids can shrug them off and give an off-hand answer, but if you'd rather they not have to deal with these situations in the future, it might push you to make the change.
8. You Like Sticking to Tradition
Sometimes, we just like following the crowd. Okay, maybe that isn't the best way to put it, but the pressure to conform to societal standards and traditions is a psychological phenomenon. We don't like to deviate, as much as we like being our own person and having our own thoughts and desires. And because we'd rather not be at odds with what's considered custom, we stick to it.
9. Fresh Start
Changing your name does come with some benefits. For one, it could signal a fresh start. Perhaps you don't have good memories with your family surname, or you'd rather not be tied to your culture and heritage. Whatever the reason, why not let this spring a new chapter in your life?
10. You Prefer Your Spouse's Surname
Maybe you don't like your own surname, and you just prefer your spouse's instead. Hey, to each their own, right? Ultimately, it really comes down to your own personal preference, and if you want to make the change, go for it.
