Ghosting is an all-too-common aspect of modern dating. In a nutshell, it involves completely cutting off all communication with another person without warning or explanation. It’s the equivalent of abruptly ending all contact, no texts, phone calls, reasons, or responses. This is often done instantly, leaving the other person totally blindsided and confused. According to experts, most people ghost out of fear, not cruelty. Many feel too anxious about confrontation or emotionally overwhelmed to have an honest conversation. Fear makes ghosting seem like a painless way to back out, when in reality it’s actually the lazy way to end things.
The Impact of Ghosting
On a psychological level, being ghosted can lead to self-doubt and confusion. The lack of closure from someone simply disappearing makes it hard to understand what happened. Unanswered questions linger in the mind of the “ghostee” for days, weeks, or longer, depending on the circumstances. Self-esteem can suffer, and some people who’ve been ghosted may enter future relationships with abandonment fears that are difficult to overcome.
Research on ghosting has found that some people are more likely to ghost than others, depending on their personality. While ghosting may avoid some short-term discomfort, it prevents both the “ghoster” and the “ghostee” from learning from the situation, improving themselves, or even preventing it from happening again.
One of the bigger contributors to ghosting culture can be pinpointed in the way dating apps are structured. Dating app burnout is a real phenomenon that can completely change the way a person approaches dating. According to a survey, more than 78% of Gen Z reported feeling emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted by online dating. Ghosting contributes to this, in part because of the emotional damage it inflicts. It is also all too easy to simply unmatch with someone or never open their chat again for one reason or another.
Why You Should Avoid Ghosting
The truth is, ghosting feels okay when we do it to others. It’s only when we become the ghosted party that we realize the real emotional impact of the cowardly act. If you’re a potential ghoster, know this: being honest and direct,even if it means having an awkward conversation,is far kinder and more mature than sending someone into a spiral of confusing messages that never arrive. A simple text stating plainly that things didn’t work out provides closure and is the least you can do for someone. If they’re not worth the truth to you, they probably weren’t meant to be in your life.
But by giving them the truth, you’re also giving yourself the gift of character. While the modern dating world can be cold and unfeeling, when we rise above and treat each other with compassion and understanding, we create a healthier dating culture for ourselves and future generations, while uplifting ourselves and others alike. So, at the end of the day, ghosting might seem like a tempting option, but it's important to keep in mind how lazy and lackluster it comes across. You wouldn't want to be ghosted, so you shouldn't do it to others.
