Don't End Your Relationship Like This
No one wants to go through the challenge of breaking up with someone they love, but if your heart is lying elsewhere, your partner deserves to know. To make this process go as smoothly as possible, be sure to take into account your partner's feelings and needs. In other words, end things as politely and respectfully as you can. To give you an idea of what not to do, here are 20 of the worst ways to do it.
1. Ghosting
It doesn't matter if you've only dated someone for a short period of time, ending things by completely ghosting them is just plain rude. Show some respect to the person you were with and confront them face to face. They at least deserve that much from you.
2. On A Call
Even if things didn't work out the way you wanted them to, the least you can do is give your partner a proper farewell. That includes respecting their feelings and doing more than just giving them a quick call. Sure, you're saying the words, but does that have any meaning if they can't see your face and expressions?
3. Through Text/Email
One step below calling to break up with someone is doing it through text or email. How can you possibly capture all those feelings and emotions with a block of text? You don't want to run the risk of your partner misconstruing what you're saying, something that happens too often thanks to direct messaging.
4. On Valentine's Day
Really? You're going to end things on the most romantic day of the year? Unless you absolutely can't go on any further for some reason, you should have the courtesy to end the relationship before or after Valentine's Day. You don't want your partner to always have these negative memories associated with this holiday of love.
5. In Public
You can never be sure how your partner will take the news, so give them the privacy they'll need to take all of it in. If you have "the talk" in public, you're risking embarrassing them if they can't hold in their emotions. Besides, a conversation as important as this one should be done in private where both parties can openly express their thoughts without fear of someone listening in.
6. Caught Cheating
Arguably the most hurtful way to break up with someone is to show them your heart is somewhere else before even telling them. Getting caught in the act, whether you're physically or emotionally cheating, is something only the cowardly do. If you know you're not feeling the same way anymore, do it before you start looking elsewhere.
7. On Your Anniversary
On this special day that means so much to couples, you're planning on destroying all the good memories by ending things? Breaking up on or around your anniversary is simply a recipe for disaster. It's wise to do it way before, in case your partner spent money and time preparing a gift or surprise for you.
8. On Social Media
The only thing worse than getting broken up with is finding out that everyone else knew before you did. After all, what's more awful than ending things via status update? Have some decency and talk things through with your partner first before making it public - not that it should be, anyway.
9. Through Someone Else
Word spreads quickly, and the last thing you want to hear from someone else is that your partner is planning on leaving you. Whether it's through a mutual friend who heard about it first or someone random treating it like gossip, it hurts all the same.
10. On Your Birthday
We thought gifts were supposed to be nice? Why hurt your partner's feelings on the day that's supposed to be all about them? One of the worst times to break up with someone is on their birthday. We know it's avoidable, so doing it on this day just feels way too intentional and hurtful.
11. Acting Like A Jerk
Just because your feelings have changed doesn't give you an excuse to be a jerk about it. This is someone you once loved, so treat them with respect! Explain your reasoning, be patient and kind, and give them a chance to respond too. Do you really want your partner remembering you as an inconsiderate, mean person?
12. Nonchalantly
Cut the "tough guy" act. Real men and women show their feelings, especially in a heartbreaking moment like a breakup. Don't try to act cool about it, let your emotions show through. This is how you'll come across as genuine and apologetic, making it easier for your ex-lover to stomach it all.
13. Without A Reason
People who get dumped always want the same thing. They want a good reason for it! If you're showing up to someone's house trying to end things without knowing what to say or having an explanation, you better come back next time. No one wants to hear they're getting broken up with 'just because.'
14. Slowly Disappearing
If you know early on that you want to end things, it's much better to get it over with instead of dragging your partner unknowingly along. Don't slowly lose interest, put in less effort, and disappear. Your partner deserves so much more than having you quietly exit out of the relationship without them knowing.
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15. Saying It's "Temporary"
Don't do things half-heartedly and don't give your partner false hope. If things are over for you, make that clear. It's not smart to go on about making it "temporary" or "taking a break." During such a crucial moment in your relationship, clarity is key; misunderstandings will only make things worse for both of you.
16. Dating Their Friend
It's always hard to see an old lover jump back into the game so quickly, but it's ten times worse if you see them doing it with your friend. Sure, maybe it's innocent and the attraction sparked after you two broke up, but you'll never know for certain and it'll always haunt you.
17. With A Middleman
It's one thing hearing your partner might be ending things with you through a friend, but it's another if they ask someone to do the breaking up for them. Getting a middleman to do the dirty work for you? Talk about inconsiderate.
18. Via Voicemail
We know we mentioned how bad breaking up through a call is, but who knew it could get even worse? Knowing your partner didn't even have the courtesy to wait for you to pick up is simply mind blowing. Doing it via voicemail doesn't even give you a chance to respond.
19. Giving Back All Their Stuff
Imagine this: your partner shows up at your door with all of your belongings, telling you that it's all over. Bringing over all of your things might seem kind, but in reality, it'll make the breakup hurt even more. Why? It makes it feel all the more definitive, as if everything was already settled before you even knew.
20. Using The Cliches
One of the most frustrating lines used in any breakup is "It's not you, it's me." This overused, cliché sentence doesn't really have much meaning anymore. It makes your breakup feel scripted, as if it's not coming from you.
