A Good Wedding Speech Is an Art Form
Don't panic if you're asked to give a wedding speech. Sure, it's nerve-wracking but with the right approach you can have a room full of weeping guests. From being concise to avoiding inside jokes, here are 20 tips for writing the ultimate wedding speech.
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1. Be Concise
A wedding speech should be about five to seven minutes long. Long speeches lose steam, and short speeches don't leave any impression. By being concise, you can help the guests get back to dancing, drinking, and having fun.
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2. Open With Gratitude
Every good wedding speech should start with gratitude. Thank the guests for being there and speak to how meaningful this day is to everyone in the room. Expressing gratitude sets a warm and loving tone.
3. Introduce Yourself
Even if you're the brother of the bride, don't assume that every guest knows who you are. Introduce yourself at the beginning of the speech, before you get into the mushy stuff and the jokes.
4. Be Heartfelt
A memorable wedding speech is one that expresses tender moments and how much the couple means to you. Don't worry about sounding like a poet, it's simply about being honest. Share a heartfelt story or two and a sweet sentiment.
5. Balance Emotion and Humor
A wedding speech with too many jokes can be exhausting, especially if the jokes fall flat. The same can be said for speeches that are overly sentimental. Thread the needle between emotion and humor, and the wedding couple will thank you through their laughs and tears.
6. Don't Use Inside Jokes
Inside jokes can alienate your audience. They might elicit a laugh from a small group of guests in attendance, but the sound you will most likely hear after an inside joke will be silence.
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7. Stories Over Resumes
Using a wedding speech to list the accomplishments of the couple is tempting, but it's not the strongest approach. Use meaningful stories and memories and ditch the resume portion of your speech or any timelines.
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8. Highlight the Couple's Strengths
The purpose of a wedding speech is to highlight what makes the couple such a great match, and how their union will, ultimately, be successful. You speech should answer the question of what makes their bond special.
9. Be Specific
A general wedding speech won't touch anyone's heart. Don't refer to the couple as "fun and adventurous". Instead, tell an anecdote that shows how they are these traits. Details paint a vivid portrait of a couple on their wedding day.
10. Avoid Negativity
A wedding is a time for sweet and positive speeches, and not a time to roast the couple. Don't include any negative stories or complaints in your speech. It's also best not to embarrass anyone.
11. Practice, Practice, Practice
Don't go into a wedding speech cold. Write your speech in advance, and then rehearse right up until the big day. Reading your speech out loud will help you catch awkward phrasing, perfect the timing, and also confirm that you can pronounce every word.
12. Don't Read Your Speech
You don't have to memorize every word of your speech, but you should memorize the key points. Have your speech written on cue cards for your reference, but make sure your eyes aren't glued to it while you're giving your speech.
13. Go Slow
Nerves make us want to rush to get it over with. A speech should be recited slowly, but not too slow. Take pauses and breaths when appropriate. Strategic pauses will help your big points hit harder.
14. Careful with Jokes
Humor can cut through tension and getting a few laughs can alleviate our nerves about giving a speech. Funny stories work, but keep them clean and omit anything embarassing or crude. Remember, there are probably kids in the audience.
15. Compliment Both Partners
If you're the sister of the bride, don't forget to say something nice about the groom too. A wedding speech should acknowledge both members of the wedding couple, as leaving one out could lead to hurt feelings.
16. Engage the Audience
Make your speech engaging by referencing the shared experience that you and the other guests are having. Talk about how lovely the cerermony was, how far some guests travelled, and the wonderful atmosphere of the event.
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17. End with a Toast
Whether your speech was a hit, or didn't quite go as planned (it happens, don't worry), you should always end with a toast. A toast should be quick and include a simple wish of luck and happinnes to the couple. A toast can transition the wedding onto the next speech or portion of the evening.
18. Don't Drink Too Much Pre-Speech
The nerves that come with giving a wedding speech, might tempt us to pound a few shots before we step to the microphone. While alcohol will take the edge off, it could get messy and derail your speech. A great speech spoken with slurred words is a disaster. Have a few sips of wine before public speaking, and then go nuts after.
19. Respect Culturual Traditions
Your speech should reflect the culture of the couple. If they are of different cultures or faiths, then make sure you inclue both. This shows sensitivity and both families will appreciate your effort. Honoring their heritage can make a good speech even better.
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20. Make It Personal
Don't generalize in your wedding speech. You don't need to include quotes about love and marriage, or anything of the sort. Make your speech personal with unique observations and anecdotes of your experiences with the couple of the hour.