Spiraling Mind
Picture this: you're in bed, your eyes are closed, and you're just about to drift off. But then a thought snaps you back awake: did your friend simply forget to reply, or are they ignoring you because of something you said? When overthinking strikes, it can be hard to shake off, making you analyze every tiny detail and imagine the worst possible scenario. Sound familiar? Here are 10 classic signs of overthinking to watch out for, and 10 simple ways to calm your mind.
1. You Replay Conversations in Your Head
The most classic sign of an overthinker is one who constantly replays past conversations in their head. Even if it's a discussion or argument that happened years ago, they can't let go of the words that were said and the uncomfortable feelings that came with it. An overthinker often berates themselves for saying something they shouldn't have said or not saying something they should've said.
2. You Catastrophize
Overthinkers often imagine the worst-case scenario in every situation. Whether it's a job interview, presentation, or catching up with an old classmate, nothing slips past their stressed-out mind. They feel like they have to prepare for every possible way something could unfold, so they may either form scripts in their head or practice out loud over and over again.
3. You Can't Sleep at Night
Another sign that someone is a classic overthinker? They're often lying in bed wide awake at night, still replaying old conversations or reimagining worst-case scenarios in their mind. In fact, it feels like their brain never completely shuts off, and because of that, they experience insomnia.
4. You Take Everything Personally
No matter how someone replies or how lengthy or short their message is, overthinkers take every word to heart. They might overanalyze someone's tone, punctuation, or phrasing, wondering if they've accidentally upset or disappointed them. Even neutral comments can send their mind spiraling.
5. You Analyze, and Analyze, and Analyze...
Speaking of overanalyzing, overthinkers do plenty of it. But it's not just messages, tones, and expressions they scrutinize—they dissect every choice, every interaction, and every possible outcome of a situation. For example, they may often spend hours weighing the pros and cons of a simple decision.
6. You Hate Making Decisions
And speaking of decisions, overthinkers hate making them. This is because they tend to spend far more time than they need to before coming to a final answer. They would much rather someone else make the choice for them than for them to have to make the pick alone.
7. You Keep Reliving Embarrassing Moments
It's not just past conversations that overthinkers replay in their minds—it's embarrassing moments, too. Even though everyone else has moved on, overthinkers are convinced people still remember that one thing they did years ago that still haunts them today. No matter how hard they try, they can never truly shake the memory away.
8. You Second-Guess Yourself
Another reason why overthinkers tend to avoid making decisions is because they often second-guess themselves. Despite doing their research and carefully weighing the pros and cons, they still doubt their own judgment, prompting them to ask others for different opinions.
9. You Worry Too Much About What Others Think
Overthinkers often assume the worst about how others perceive them. They may think they're constantly being judged for the way they speak, dress, or act, when in reality, most people are too caught up in their own thoughts and worries to even care or notice.
10. You Criticize Yourself a Lot
No matter how hard they try, overthinkers never think they're good enough. They often hold themselves to high, nearly unattainable standards, and feel unworthy or embarrassed when they can't meet those expectations. Hearing feedback from others only makes them spiral more.
Do these signs sound like you? If you're wondering how to calm your anxious, overthinking mind, here are some tips that might help.
1. Schedule Your Worry Time
Instead of letting thoughts spiral every minute of the day, it might help to block off a time to do all your worrying. After time is up, don't let your overthinking brain continue spiraling, and engage yourself in an activity you enjoy instead.
2. Think of the Bigger Picture
If you're worried about the outcome of a specific scenario, such as a job interview or work presentation, it may help to think of the bigger picture. Even if your catastrophizing thoughts play out in reality, what's the chance that these end results—a rejection from an employer, a poorly executed presentation—will still affect you in five or 10 years' time? Chances are, by that time, everyone will have already moved on with their lives, and you should, too.
3. Find a Distraction
Instead of letting your brain run in exhausting circles, distract it by doing something you like. Try going out for a walk around the park, watching your favorite TV show, or cooking a new recipe. When you take your mind off the thing that's worrying you, you'll be able to find a moment of peace and calm.
4. Take Deep Breaths
Anxiety can cause unpleasant symptoms, like shortness of breath and a racing heart. The more you let your brain ruminate, the worse these feelings get. So, instead of letting your anxiety take control, try some breathing exercises to calm your mind down. One technique that may help is the box method: inhale deeply for four seconds, hold for four, then exhale for eight.
5. Acknowledge Your Successes
Instead of ruminating on your past mistakes and failures, focus on your successes and celebrate your wins. They don't need to be major accomplishments; just think of what you did in the past week that made you feel proud or happy. This will help you build a more positive mindset and allow you to practice self-compassion.
6. Journal Your Thoughts
Overthinking can tire your brain and body out. So, instead of letting your thoughts sit caged inside your head, try writing them out on paper as a way to release them into the wild. Sometimes, seeing your worries penned out can help you gain better clarity and perspective, and you might feel more ready to let them go.
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7. Embrace Discomfort
There are some things you just don't have control over, and that's okay. Instead of wrestling with your fears and trying to shape them into something familiar and less threatening, sometimes the easiest thing to do is to just accept them as they are. You're bound to experience discomfort in life, and you're bound to make mistakes. You might not be able to control how things pan out, but you can control how you react to them. So, think positively.
8. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
If your friend came up to you with the same worries, what would you say to them? What would your words of advice be? You likely would be able to frame these thoughts more positively and make intimidating scenarios seem less daunting. So, treat yourself like you would a friend. Speak kindly, and be understanding.
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9. Talk to Someone
When your thoughts and worries become too much to handle on your own, don't be afraid to reach out to a friend, family member, or mental health professional so that they can help you get out of the negative loop. Oftentimes, others can offer different perspectives and solutions that allow you to see situations in a whole new light, which can ease your anxiety and overthinking tendencies.
10. Stay in the Present Moment
When you're constantly overthinking about something that happened years ago, you're rooting yourself in a reality that no longer exists. Instead of letting past mistakes, conversations, and memories consume you and keep you tethered to a different timeline, learn to let go and ground yourself in the present moment. One way that might help is to use all your senses to capture what's currently happening. What do you see, hear, smell, feel, or taste?
