Why do men cheat? While this is one of the most common questions people ask, the answer is varied. Scientists have spent years trying to pin down a specific cause, even going so far as to hypothesize whether genetic factors could be at play. But men may cheat simply because they're dissatisfied with their current relationship or need an ego boost. Sometimes, they might just be seeking excitement. Here's a deeper look at why men are unfaithful.
Relationship Dissatisfaction
When men commit infidelity, it's sometimes because they're dissatisfied with the relationship they're currently in. They might feel that they can't emotionally connect with their partner, that they're unseen, unheard, and underappreciated. While not an excuse, this divide in emotional intimacy may drive them to seek elsewhere in search of someone who can fill that void. And of course, this pattern doesn't only occur in men, either.
Men may also cheat when they feel trapped in a relationship. In these scenarios, it's not always that they're experiencing a disconnect with their partner, but more that they don't feel completely happy with the relationship they're in. And, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, they might feel as though committing infidelity is the only way they can escape it.
Ego Boost
But it isn't always because of a lack of emotional or physical intimacy that drives men to cheat. Sometimes, they might start an external relationship because the attention gives them an ego boost. Fueled by these interactions, they may chase after these opportunities because they give them a sense of validation.
This may often, though not always, happen in long-term relationships, which may link back to that feeling of being trapped. However, it doesn't always immediately indicate that there's dissatisfaction with some aspect of the relationship, but is more tied to the sense of being desired, and the excitement that comes from receiving external attention.
Low Impulse Control
Research has shown that men have lower impulse control than women do. This means that they're more likely to act when the opportunity arises, without first thinking through their actions and the potential consequences of them. Higher testosterone levels can also result in lower impulsivity.
Some men may also be raised in environments where emotional regulation isn't taught or encouraged. This may allow them to develop unhealthy behaviors that can, in turn, affect the way they build relationships and form connections. Because they were shown at a young age that they didn't need to care about thinking through their emotions and actions, they learn that it's okay to act on impulse, especially when the reward is high.
Is Cheating Genetic?
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There is no cheating gene. But some scientists have wondered, and studied, whether it's possible that infidelity can be influenced by our genetic makeup. Earlier studies even thought that the desire to cheat may be linked to the dopamine receptor DRD4 polymorphism, the same "thrill-seeking" gene that seemingly drives people to alcoholism and gambling addictions. Scientists have also hypothesized whether infidelity happens more among humans because monogamy is most accepted within modern civilization, when polygamy is more common among other species and throughout history. But even then, there's no distinct line to draw.
Whether or not being unfaithful can be traced back to our biology, one thing is clear: behavior is complex, and cheating shouldn't be pinned on genetics alone. No gene can override the complex decisions people make in their relationships.
