For most people entering the dating realm, whether it be your first time at the rodeo or your fifth turn around the block, using apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge is often the way to go. That's because, thanks to our highly digital world, we're now able to connect with people far outside of the area we live in, in ways we were never able to before. But while you might've always seen this expansion in reach as a major plus, we're here to tell you there are some definite downsides you've been overlooking, too.
You might have heard some people call the dating apps a "numbers game," which implies they believe the more you swipe, the higher chance you have of finding a match. And while this might make you believe people are more relaxed and open on the apps, the opposite is actually true. Because sure, getting more people to swipe on and having more matches seems nice on the surface level, but what this does is actually make you far more picky than you realize.
The Illusion Of Choice
This is all because swiping creates the illusion of choice. Dating apps make you believe that you have so much freedom to swipe to your heart's content, but the reality is, all it does is make you think you have more options than you actually do.
When everything is digital, it's easy to reduce a person to simply a photo and a name on your screen. Not your physical preference? Keep swiping. Didn't like their profile? Keep swiping. Don't like their name? Might as well keep swiping. All this has done is create a careless attitude where people have internalized a 'right to be picky' with whoever they please. In a way, trying to get an 'actual match' isn't even what most people are thinking about.
And what happens when they do get a match? People on the apps believe they can be choosy and ghost anyone they no longer feel interested in. After all, they were swiping just to swipe, not because they actually felt a connection or wanted to put in the effort to get to know the person they matched with. This mentality can make the dating world seem a lot more toxic than it needs to be.
Supports Low Effort
Which leads us to, how does this toxicity affect effort in the dating world? Well, it makes people believe that they don't need to put in a lot of effort to end up with a date. Because with all these options, surely someone will say yes, right? Wrong. In many ways, dating apps have killed the romance that comes with meeting someone new.
Because when you feel the conversation running a bit stale, or you're doubting if the two of you have any shared hobbies, instead of going the extra mile to try and work things out, you jump ship immediately. Why wouldn't you when you have a long line of other matches you could go through? That's what these apps would have you believe anyway.
Thanks to having so many supposed options, the real problem here is that no one is really trying to actually get to know anyone else they meet on the apps. You're judged solely for your pictures and what you write on your profile, and nothing else.
Real chemistry and connection can't be felt off just one interaction or a quick glance through a profile, it has to be built over time and with genuine desire. But when all of that's missing on the biggest platforms for dating, it's definitely made things much more complicated for those just trying to find love.
