The Other Woman: 10 Glaring Signs That Guy Already Has A Girlfriend & 10 Subtle Cues To Look Out For
The Other Woman: 10 Glaring Signs That Guy Already Has A Girlfriend & 10 Subtle Cues To Look Out For
Prince Charming or Troll Under a Bridge?
You’ve done it! You’ve finally found someone who wasn’t a total creep from a dating site! They take you on dates, they’re charming, and you two seem to have a lot in common. It all seems perfect until…he starts cancelling plans. He hasn’t invited you to his house. He drops off the map for weeks at a time and then returns like nothing happened. The bad news is you might be dealing with someone who’s already in a relationship. The good news is we’ve narrowed down a few ways to catch them.
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1. He Flakes on Plans
We’re not trying to suggest that every mishap reveals infidelity—but a pattern certainly does. If he constantly flakes on plans, changes date locations, or goes weeks without responding, you’re dealing with a red flag. Either he doesn’t care about your time, or he’s spending his with someone else, and neither is ideal.
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2. He Takes Private Calls
We don’t always want to speak to our moms in front of the boys! However, there’s a big difference between putting your phone on silent and racing into another room to answer it. Pay attention to how cagey he is about details, too. If he doesn’t have anything to hide, he’ll tell you who called.
3. He Avoids Certain Places
The chances of him bringing you to a popular location are pretty high. They’re even higher if he’s in a long-term relationship; he won’t want to risk getting caught, so keep an eye out for any locations he frequently avoids.
4. He Won’t Share His Social Media With You
It’s normal to exchange social media handles, but a guy with a girlfriend won’t open up as easily. If he fights tooth and nail to hide his Instagram, it’s likely because you’ll spot someone else. He won’t want questions from you or his partner!
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5. He Doesn’t Make Plans
It’s never good when the guy won’t make plans. Again, while it doesn’t always signal a preexisting partner, it does suggest that he’s inconsiderate. If a guy is interested, he’ll make plans! And if he’s really single, he won’t wait for you to chase him.
6. He Doesn’t Introduce You to His Friends
Just because he’s lying doesn’t mean his friends will. You know what they say: when you date someone, you date their friends; partners become part of the pack, and real friends will call out nefarious behavior. To avoid any of that, he just won’t introduce you to them.
7. He Never Invites You Over
How many Olive Garden dates can one gal tolerate? Eventually, relationships blossom into home visits…unless he has someone already over there. Keep an eye on whether he invites you to his place—if he doesn’t, it’s a bad sign.
8. He Jumps Into Physical Stuff
Though some affairs are emotional, many aim to fulfill physical needs. Does he dive right into the boudoir? Are his texts especially racy? Whenever a guy tries to streamline the physical, especially outside of your boundaries, you’re dealing with a creep.
9. He Avoids PDA
He never knows when his girlfriend will peer around the corner. He might run into her friends at the coffee shop. So, what’s a cheater to do? Take PDA off the table, of course. Budding romances are filled with handholding and super-charged glances, but this guy is a brick wall.
10. His Interest is Hot and Cold
He wants you one minute, then ignores you the other. His texts are flirty one week, and the next, he flies off the radar. Look, you don’t have time for people like that, regardless of their relationship status. That said, a hot and cold nature usually reveals he has someone else to take care of him in the interim.
You’ll likely spot the burning red flags, but experienced cheaters also have subtle crumbs they drop. Let’s dive into a few hidden signs they’re already taken.
1. He’s Cagey About Details
One of the easiest ways to trip up a cheater is to ask basic questions. The simpler they are, the easier it is to catch them off guard. Did he go on a trip with someone? Ask him who he went with. Did he just get a phone call? Who was it? You don’t need to grill him every time, but couples ask innocent questions every day, and they’re no reason for hostility.
2. He Wants to Meet During Off-Hours
What’s this? He wants a random date on a Tuesday at 6:00 p.m.? It’s not the end of the world when you first start dating, but pay attention to how often it happens. Does he ever take you out on the weekend? If not, it could signal that he already spends time with someone during popular times.
3. He Hides His Phone
We love it when a man keeps his phone off the table! However, our radar beeps when he makes a point of hiding it. Anything from constant glances at the screen to excusing himself for a simple text could signal trouble.
4. He Gets Defensive (or Acts Confused)
As we mentioned, basic questions are a good way to crack the shell. If you ask something simple like, “What did you do over the weekend?” and he blows a gasket, that’s never good. On the other hand, if he acts confused (or repeats the question), he’s likely trying to buy himself time.
5. He Doesn’t Answer Questions About His Past
It’s one thing to ease into someone’s life, but it’s another when they remain an enigma. Pay attention to how much he reveals about his friends, his family, or even his past. The less he tells you, the more likely it is that he has a girlfriend.
6. Little Contradictions
They say the devil’s in the details, so take note of any contradictions. It’s not the end of the world when someone fumbles a little, but if they do it more and more often, you could be dealing with a liar.
7. He Always Needs to “Leave Early”
Hey, we get it. Everyone has their own life, and we can’t always stay out past midnight. But…can he stay out past 8? Constantly excusing himself early could suggest that he needs to get home to someone.
8. He Brings You to Hidden Spots
Sure, he brings you to restaurants—so long as you’re in a booth. Absolutely, he’ll take you to that cafe…if you’re seated in the back. The harder he tries to squirrel you away, the likelier it is that he’s nervous about getting caught.
9. Last-Minute Changes to Plans
Last-minute hiccups can arise at any time! Once in a while is more than fine, but if he always changes the locale or flat-out cancels, you’re either dealing with the most inconsiderate guy on the planet, or someone who’s taken.
10. His Weekends Are Always Booked
As the adage goes, if he wanted to, he would. But this guy’s never free on Friday nights. Oh, sorry. His weekends are booked solid for the next month, too. When you pile on the red flags, it’s hard to see anything else!
