The Sad Truth
Aging is natural, but women are treated as if they no longer have worth after they grow older. It makes a natural process seem like a shameful one, with many ladies having to deal with judgment, assumption, and the fact that they’re now invisible. With that in mind, here are 20 unfortunate, and sometimes fortunate, realities women have to deal with as they age. Do you relate to these?
1. Invisible
Many women feel “invisible” as they age. They may feel invisible to those around them, as if they are no longer as noticeable. They may not receive compliments or attention in the way they once did. And they may even feel invisible in the workplace or in social situations. This can be a frustrating experience, as they feel like they are no longer seen the way they once were. Of course, some enjoy it, as it allows them to move unnoticed.
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2. Dress Freedom
A common complaint as women age is that they no longer get noticed for their style choices. It's liberating in some ways, but also a little disconcerting. Ensembles that once elicited comments, compliments, or condemnation are now met with apparent indifference.
3. Kids or Bust
As a woman, there is a societal perception that if you do not have children or grandchildren, you are somehow incomplete. It makes you feel as if you are a failure, regardless of all the other achievements and successes you have accomplished in life. It trivializes you to that of your family life status only.
4. Thinking You’re Helpless
As women age, assumptions are made that they are too delicate to do things by themselves, to travel, engage in hobbies, or be alone without some chaperone. Questions of safety or surprise that they are on their own are patronizing and dismissive.
5. The Karens
Older women are often stereotyped as out of touch. Younger people will dismiss them with the label "boomer" or assume they are close-minded. It erases their identity as individuals and disregards how many of them continue to be progressive, open-minded, and engaged.
6. Hair Dye
Women are often shamed for the first sign of gray in their hair, as if there's something wrong with a natural process. Society sees gray hair on men as distinguished, but on women, it's harshly criticized as "letting yourself go." This double standard makes many women feel judged for just being themselves.
7. Uninteresting
From the knowledgeable or interesting person they were earlier, they become a grandmother to be gushed over as if all they have to talk about is their grandchildren. Or worse, they express a meaningful thought or show expertise in an area, and people are amazed by this. It is an insult and a diminishment all at once.
8. Outright Ignored
Women have more opportunities than ever before, but as they age, they notice that they are being talked over or ignored in ways that never happened when they were younger. It’s infuriating and humiliating to have someone repeat your idea only to take credit for it, but it is a painful reminder that age makes them seem less important.
Konstantin Mishchenko on Unsplash
9. Infantilization
Women experience infantilization as they age. Being treated as if they are incapable of making their own decisions or understanding what is going on can be insulting. Even simple gestures of unwanted "help" or baby talk can be infantilizing.
10. Anti-Aging
Older women face bombardment with creams, serums, facials, and other products and procedures, all to erase the most natural physical changes of aging. The common message is that wrinkles, gray hair, and changes in figure are not a sign of a life well lived, but rather a series of flaws to cover up or fix. Aging in women is made to feel like a shameful process rather than a natural one.
11. Unwelcome
At the same age that men are just reaching the height of their popularity, women may find themselves in a position where the same kind of social involvement is suddenly redefined as interference and unwelcome. Rather than reciprocating a playful remark or sharing in a discussion, they may be offhandedly discredited as interfering rather than being cooperative.
12. Not Tech Savvy
As women get older, they are automatically expected to be “not tech savvy,” regardless of how comfortable or knowledgeable they are with electronics or the internet. Basic tasks like using a smartphone, an app, or a social media platform are sometimes received with shock or a patronizing attitude from a younger generation.
13. Forgetful
Older women are often told that they are forgetful, and this is sometimes used as an excuse for them to act absentmindedly. Sometimes forgetfulness is blown way out of proportion, even for tiny errors. This is frustrating and demeaning to women.
14. Overly Emotional
They may also be considered “too emotional” or “dramatic” for displaying perfectly acceptable feelings. Expressions that were once deemed reasonable or passionate can suddenly be belittled or ridiculed. This stereotype invalidates their experiences and perpetuates the notion that aging women should be quieter or less expressive.
Gantas Vaičiulėnas on Unsplash
15. Makeup Pressure
It's sad that older women are being pressured to keep wearing makeup, as if showing their natural, unaltered face is an outrage. Why is it that the moment a woman passes a certain age, her beauty is not valued unless she's doing everything in her power to conceal that she's aged? It's tiresome to feel so judged for just being themselves.
16. Celeb Comparisons
Women are criticized as they age and often compared to rich celebrities who look unblemished and perfect. It's as if they are setting the bar for aging for the rest of us, as if we are all on the same financial level. Celebrities have the money, access to treatments, and staff to make them look the way they do.
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff from Washington D.C, United States on Wikimedia
17. Oh So Lonely
People assume women must be lonely or have no life as they age. This can happen even if they have friendships and community. The seemingly innocent question, “Do you have anyone to hang out with?” is invasive. It’s also dismissive and implies their life is empty.
18. Baking
Some folks seem to think a woman has to bake or enjoy housewifely things when she gets older. It's almost like an obligation that's automatically thrust upon her. It's just assumed she knows how to cook and loves it, whether she does or not.
19. Grandma Clothing
The invisibility factor certainly allows most older women to wear whatever they want, but sometimes they get criticized for dressing too young. Styles that are considered cute or hot on young people are often derided or ridiculed when worn by older women. This double standard limits their freedom of expression.
20. Job Challenges
Older women are often subjected to ageism in the workplace, with employers believing they are less competent or flexible. Job opportunities may be limited or disappear, not due to a lack of skills or experience, but simply because of their age. This discrimination is undoubtedly frustrating.
