Let's Save Chivalry by Raising Boys Right
These days, it can seem like true gentlemen are a dying breed. With so many harmful influences out there, how do we ensure that our young boys will grow up into respectful adults? Although many things are out of your control as parents, there are some simple actions you can take to coax him in the right direction. Here's how to make a gentleman out of your son.
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1. Set An Example
Kids often pick up cues from their parents so perhaps the best way to teach gentlemanly behavior is to be a gentleman yourself. If you're a woman you can set a good example by ensuring your partner treats you with chivalry.
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2. Teach Him How to Treat Service Workers
"Please" and "thank you" go a long way. There's no greater turn-off than a person who talks down to people in the service industry. When he's old enough, help him find employment in this industry so he can learn how it feels.
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3. Teach Him Good Conversational Skills
Active listening, asking thoughtful questions, and not interrupting are all marks of a gentleman. It's rare these days to find someone with genuinely good conversation skills so teaching him this will guarantee him a leg-up.
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4. Instill Strong Values
A gentleman knows the difference between right and wrong. Having a strong value system in the home which encourages him to own his mistakes will ensure he grows up with honesty, accountability, and compassion.
5. Foster Good Work Ethic
A gentleman doesn't shy away from a tough grind. From a young age, push him to always do his best and work hard so he grows up into a driven and ambitious young man.
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6. Teach Emotional Intelligence
Sit down and talk with your kid often to encourage him to express and manage his emotions. Talk about your own feelings so he sees how it's done and incentivize empathy and compassion in him.
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7. Teach Leadership
A gentleman is a leader, not a follower. Encourage your son to use his leadership skills by giving him a decision-making role in the family from time-to-time.
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8. Encourage Holding The Door Open for Others
It may be old-timey, but it's still classy and always appreciated when people hold doors for others. Teach him to get in the habit at an early age.
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9. Teach Him to Cook and Clean
Modern gentlemen are independent and self-sufficient with the consideration to not let their partner do all the housework. They have the skills to cook a nice dinner for date night and clean the kitchen after.
10. Teach Grace In Losing
Although it's good to be competitive, no one likes a sore loser. You need to teach your son that he's not going to win at everything and, when he loses, learn to shake his opponent's hand with his head held high.
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11. Promote Proper Grooming
Although you can be a perfect gentleman while also looking disheveled or vice versa, a classic mark of a gentleman is the way he presents himself. Teach him good grooming and dress from an early age and again, lead by example.
12. Present Him With Moral Dilemmas
A good way to instill integrity in your son is to present him with hypothetical moral dilemmas. This will keep him on his toes and ensure he knows to always do the right thing.
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13. Reward Positive Actions
When your son uses honesty, does the right thing, or shows kindness and empathy, encourage these actions with positive affirmations so he knows to continue doing it. This will give him more clarity in the future when decifering between right and wrong.
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14. Teach Him To Have A Firm Handshake
Another marker of a gentleman is his handshake. Practice with your son so he's not shy to give a confident handshake when the moment presents itself.
15. Practice Eye Contact
Teach your son to look people in the eye when talking to them. This is just basic politeness but it also shows confidence.
16. Involve Him in Volunteering
A good way to instill kindness in your son is to involve him in acts of kindness. Encouraging him to volunteer his time to a good cause teaches him generosity, goodness, and community-building.
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17. Instill Humility
Although confidence is an important quality for a gentleman, no one likes cockiness. Teach your son to be humble by encouraging him to be modest when he succeeds, celebrating others' successes, and promoting team work.
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18. Emphasize Punctuality
A gentleman is never late because being late is disrespectful. Get him in the habit of showing up places on time from an early age to instill this notion for life.
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19. Tell Stories About Gentlemen
When he's little, read him stories about chivalrous princes and brave knights. Having strong gentlemen as his role models will give him something to strive for and instill good behaviors later in life.
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20. Expose Him to Both Male and Female Influences
In addition to male role models, make sure your son has female influences in his life. Being exposed to women will teach him to treat girls with respect and allow him to get used to a female presence so he's not awkward talking to ladies.
