It's no secret that relationships are hard work. From putting yourself out there and going on the apps to being vulnerable and intimate with someone new, every aspect of dating can feel like an exhausting challenge. But hey, we're all looking to find our special someone, and it won't feel that amazing when we find them unless we put in some effort ourselves. After all, our motivation and belief that we have a soulmate out there are all rooted in our trust that hard work pays off. 

So, as you go on your romantic journey searching for the love of your life, you'll likely be trying to check off boxes in hopes of narrowing down your potential candidates. And once you've found that one person you connect well with, and things are going steady, we wouldn't be surprised if you feel like you may have found the one. But hold it right there - before you get too excited and want to lock things down, we have to warn you that you've yet to tackle the big boss. Before you and your new partner get too serious, there are five crucial things you two have to figure out first:

• Core Values
• Marriage Plans
• Plans For A Family
• Financial Views
• Long-term Goals

These aren't the kind of topics you can shrug off and bury under a rug - if you and your partner aren't aligned on these five major things, there will definitely be big problems ahead. Here's what you two need to be discussing.

Timur Weber on Pexels

Do We Work On A Fundamental Level?

Before you enter a new relationship, you should understand who you are on a deep, personal level. It's not just about your likes and dislikes, it's about what you believe in, what you stand behind, and what you truly value beyond the surface level. These are the things that define who you are as a person. So while you probably fully understand and recognize who you are, can you say the same about your partner?

Having an aligned system of beliefs is a lot more important in a relationship than you may have thought. That's because being in a serious relationship means feeling completely comfortable and okay with being vulnerable with your significant other. If you two are constantly arguing or feeling frustrated by your differing values and beliefs, you'll likely be stuck in many pointless debates, discussions, and even arguments that only lead to tension instead of resolution.

So just ask yourself this: can you be with someone who doesn't agree with your core fundamental beliefs on important subjects like honesty, respect, and more? If the answer is no, and this is unfortunately the current reality of your relationship, getting into something more serious might not give you the fulfillment you're seeking. 

Will Or Won't We Be Tying The Knot?

Where do you draw the line on marriage? For some, it's an absolute requirement, while for others, they're happy to save the money. Depending on how passionate you and your partner are about this subject, you two may need to figure something out. If you both share the same mentality of yes, no, or "I don't care," move on to the next segment. But if one of you is a definitive yes and the other's an unchangeable no, then we've got some discussing to do.

While compromise is important in any relationship and may solve little petty arguments like where to eat for dinner, it's not going to do for serious topics like marriage. You each likely have a strong reason as to why you do or don't want to get married, and that's not always going to change because of your partner's wishes. In fact, you shouldn't have to do something you don't want to for the sake of a relationship. Sometimes, it just comes down to compatibility.

Because all couples eventually head toward this discussion of marriage or no marriage, it's crucial that you both learn early on whether or not you're aligned in this direction. Trust us, it'll save you a lot of potential heartbreak. 

To Have Kids, Or Not To Have Kids - That Is The Question

Just like marriage, choosing whether or not to have kids can be a big deal-breaker and relationship ender for some couples. It's one of those decisions in life that you absolutely must be in agreement with your partner on. It's not even just about being on the same boat, it's about agreeing on the timing, how to do it, and how many to have. That's how complicated this question is, and just how negatively it can affect your relationship if you don't see eye to eye.

This isn't to say that knowing whether or not you want children is going to come easily. You're not going to wake up one day and suddenly have an answer! For some, they learn later on in life and with the right partner that it's something they want, and for others, learning and experiencing the hardships in life makes them turn a different way. It's a loaded decision that takes time, careful discussion, and respect from each partner to understand what's the best course of action to take next.

Money Ain't Always Greener On The Other Side

Remember, when you love someone and are in a committed relationship with them, you're not just getting all the positives and benefits, you're taking on the struggles and problems too. If there's one thing people sometimes overlook at the beginning of relationships, it's the financial dynamic between partners. If what theirs is yours, and what's yours is theirs, that just means you're taking on each other's financial struggles, too.

Before things start getting serious, you should first reflect on whether or not you're willing to take on any debt or money concerns of theirs. Because if your partner is struggling to pay back student loans, hospital bills, or is simply trying to fund a dream of theirs, that's going to affect you. And if you're looking to stay long term together, you'll likely be pitching in too.

It might be a no-brainer for some to help out their significant other, but not everyone wants to dedicate their hard-earned savings for someone else. And it's not because they're selfish or unkind, it's simply about looking at your own goals, dreams, and future and deciding whether or not this is what you genuinely want to invest in. Sometimes the hardest questions are the most important ones after all.

Do We Have A Future Together Or Not?

The final battle against Bowser before you save Princess Peach, the big question you really want to know deep down is, "Do we have a future together or not?" Just because you love someone sometimes isn't enough to keep a relationship going. It's all about walking down the same path; if the two of you have vastly different goals that will take you far apart from each other, are planning on soul searching before settling down, or simply have very different lifestyles that wouldn't mesh together, the future might be looking a little grim.

Yes, chemistry and feelings of love are crucial in a healthy relationship, but so are similar life goals. One keeps the passion alive while the other keeps you connected. At the end of the day, it's just about asking each other if you want the same things. Do you want to buy a house together? Move cities? Start a business? Understanding each other well and knowing what you both want out of life will help you answer whether or not it's time to start making things serious between you two. At the end of the day, it's all about knowing if you have a future to start working towards.

Final Comments

Like we said at the start, relationships are hard! It's impossible to agree with someone on every little thing, and while opposites do attract, there are a few big things (like the five we just mentioned) that you can't be wishy-washy about. Stand behind what you want and remember, put yourself first. Don't lie or change your core wishes and values just to stay together with someone - it'll just cause you trouble down the line!