Get the Mic Away From This Guy
Weddings are a joyous occasion filled with friends, family, and laughter—in a perfect world. The reality is that the happy couple needs to worry about the incoming speeches, wondering if they’re filled with embarrassing anecdotes or inappropriate mentions of lovers past. To ensure things stay on track, come with us as we show you what to actually say, and what to avoid entirely!
1. Curse Words
You may curse like a truck driver outside the reception hall, but that’s no reason to work your potty mouth into the speech. Expletives don’t work in a wedding speech, often detracting from any kind words or sentimental stories. Keep it clean and keep it classy.
2. Embarrassing Stories
Oh, boy. Here comes Uncle Ron, armed with a glass of wine and a hastily written speech—one that includes random, humiliating stories. Hey, we know it’s funny to share those memories in private, but in a room full of people, it’s just plain awkward. It’s also not funny to embarrass someone at their own wedding.
3. Any Mention of Ex-Lovers
It doesn’t matter if you plan to roast them or not; don’t mention past partners! The couple doesn’t need to be reminded of failed flames, and working mishaps into your speech can make everyone uncomfortable. It’s also totally unnecessary; this is their wedding, not the ex’s.
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4. A Novel That Lasts Forever
A big part of speeches isn’t what you say, it’s how long it takes to say it. People have already spent hours taking photos and finding their seats; they don’t need to sit through a novel before dinnertime. Practice them before the big day, and try to keep things simple.
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5. Family Secrets
This isn’t a movie—weddings aren’t the time to air dirty laundry! We don’t know about you, but we’ve heard some nightmare stories about revealed truths and filthy secrets, neither of which has any place at a wedding.
6. Anything Improvised
Guests receive the invites well in advance, so there’s no reason to walk in unprepared. Improvisation only works during open-mic nights (and even then, it’s iffy). Vamping not only burns precious time, but it also alerts everyone to the blunder.
7. Inappropriate Humor
We’re not saying humor is off the table, but you need to be careful with delivery. Some jokes don’t belong at the reception. Inside humor is an even bigger no-no (more on that later). Uncomfortable jokes likely won’t go over well, especially with older people or children in the audience.
8. Roasts
Dudes love to roast each other—it’s one of the top ways they show affection! While we love a good joke session in private, weddings are the time for heartfelt words. Don’t burn your friend on their big day, and definitely don’t target their partner.
9. Inside Jokes
Inside jokes only sound cute on the surface. In reality, they exclude the majority of those in attendance. You want your speech to appeal to the couple without ignoring anyone else, so keep those inside jokes for personal cards!
10. Something You Can’t Deliver
There’s nothing worse than watching someone slur their way through a speech. Paid bars are great, but they’re not an excuse to get hammered and fumble your words. If you’re planning to get loaded, at least wait until your time at the mic is done!
Speeches are just as nerve-racking as exchanging vows, and we know how scary they seem if you’ve never done it before! However, with the giant faux pas out of the way, let’s dive into a few things you can include.
1. Who You Are
Introductions hardly seem necessary upon first glance. After all, you know that you’re the maid-of-honor! But keep in mind that weddings sometimes house hundreds of guests, many of whom have never laid eyes on you. Starting with an introduction sets the stage and lets people know why you’re qualified to speak.
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2. Sincere Congratulations
We’re not talking about a simple “Congrats, guys.” We’re talking about a memorable nod to the happy couple. One—or even both—partner trusted you enough to talk during their special day, which allows you to share why exactly you know they’ll go the distance!
3. Heartfelt Stories
Okay, so embarrassing childhood stories are off the sweetheart table. However, heartfelt memories are more than welcome! It could be anything from your time growing up together to private thoughts you had about the couple’s love. For example, was there a moment you just knew they’d last forever? Consider tossing it in.
4. Light Humor
Don’t hide your personality! Humor is perfectly acceptable if you rein it in and don’t insult either partner. Opening with a joke, lighthearted jabs, and funny anecdotes can all go over well with those in attendance. They’re also great ways to work your spark into your speech.
5. Compliment the Partner
Can you see how happy your friend’s partner makes them? Do you know they found their soulmate? Are you honored to welcome them into your family? Good—work that into your speech! Complimenting the partner is just as important as paying homage to your friend.
6. Something About the Couple
Speakers hold special places in the couple’s heart, namely, family members. Your unique position provides a glimpse into just how happy your loved one’s life is. Don’t be afraid to share special moments you’ve seen over the years.
🇻🇳🇻🇳Nguyễn Tiến Thịnh 🇻🇳🇻🇳 on Pexels
7. Include Voice Recordings
Wedding speeches are a great time for momentous surprises! If someone couldn’t attend, ask them in advance to record something for the couple and play it at their wedding. It’s a touching tribute to their loved ones and reminds the couple that, regardless of circumstance, they have the support.
8. Toss in a Keepsake
Speaking of surprises, keepsakes are a fantastic way to commemorate the event. While you don’t need to make a big song and dance, you can offer anything from personalized vow books to mementos. It’s just one more thing the couple has to look forward to!
9. Mention Those Who Couldn’t Attend
It’s always heartbreaking to think of those who couldn’t attend—but they can still be there in spirit. Never shy away from discussing those who couldn’t be there, especially if you have insight into how happy they would have been.
10. Genuine Advice
Some may find it gauche to include advice, but we’re not among them! So long as you don’t insinuate the couple will crumble, you can always offer a little advice for a long and happy marriage. It’s particularly meaningful as an older attendee; the couple would likely have turned to you at some point anyway.
