Parent Logic
Growing up, you probably had a long list of rules you absolutely had to follow, no matter how absurd they sounded. You always had to eat everything on your plate; you had to go to sleep even if you weren't tired; you had to say "Hello" to adults you didn't even know. Question any of the logic, and you were bound to get the Unhappy Parent face and probably told to go to your room. Looking back, you can probably understand their intentions now, especially if you're a parent yourself, but childhood-us surely wasn't convinced.
1. You Had to Finish Everything on Your Plate
It didn't matter if you were already full—your parents always insisted you had to eat everything sitting on your plate. They reasoned that wasting food was unacceptable, though that often left you wondering how stuffing yourself past fullness was going to help anyone. You probably came up with some sneaky ways to get rid of leftovers.
2. You Couldn’t Leave the Table Until Everyone Was Finished
Even if you finished everything on your plate, you weren't allowed to leave the dinner table until everyone else was also finished. Why? Parent logic. That meant you probably had to spend another 20 minutes bored out of your mind while others slowly worked through their meal.
3. You Had to Go to Bed Even If You Weren’t Tired
It didn't matter if you didn't feel tired yet; your parents herded you to bed, anyway. Naturally, this rule seemed pretty suspicious (and wholly unfair) when you could hear them downstairs still watching TV long after you’d been banished to your room.
4. You Weren’t Allowed to Sleep In
You had to go to bed even if you weren't sleepy, but you also couldn't sleep in. What kind of logic is that? Moreover, even if your parents told you to "get more sleep," they'd suddenly switch up and become strangely opposed to it on weekend mornings. Sleeping until noon was treated like you’d wasted half the day, even if you had nowhere to be.
5. You Had to Clean Your Room
No one ever used your room but you, but that didn't matter—you had to clean it, anyway. It didn't matter if you had an elaborate system set up where you knew exactly which pile contained your favorite shirt and which stack was dirty. Your parents wanted it spotless.
6. You Couldn’t Sit Too Close to the TV
It didn't matter if you couldn't make out what was on the screen or if you simply just wanted to be closer to your favorite cartoon character; your parents were always telling you to sit all the way back, or you'd somehow ruin your eyes. Of course, if you made this a regular habit and now wear glasses, you probably see what they meant.
7. You Had to Wear a Coat
Winter time? You had to wear a coat. Summer time? You had to wear a coat. Apparently, it didn't matter if you didn't feel chilly, because your parents always insisted you were. Refusing to wear your jacket could then launch into a lengthy negotiation regardless of how warm or cold you actually felt.
8. You Couldn’t Have Dessert Before Dinner
Dessert may be all you wanted, but your parents would always tell you to finish your dinner first. Clear everything off your plate too late, though, and sometimes, you couldn't get dessert anyway because "it was too late." You might have even gotten the explanation that dessert would ruin your appetite, which naturally made you wonder why eating vegetables was acceptable when they also ruined your appetite.
9. You Had to Make Your Bed Every Morning
Not only did you have to clean your room periodically, but you also had to make your bed every morning. After all, your parents viewed a made bed as part of keeping a room tidy, even if you felt it was totally pointless and tedious to do when you would mess it all up once bedtime came, anyway.
10. You Had to Say Hello to Adults You Barely Knew
You might have never met these people in your life, yet your parents would still tell you to greet them. Failing to do so might earn you a scolding or two about manners later on. For shy kids especially, being forced to socialize only made you wish you could hide back in your room.
11. You Couldn’t Ask Someone’s Age
Children are naturally curious about numbers, which made the mysterious prohibition against asking an adult’s age especially confusing. Why couldn't you ask the lady at the grocery store what her age was? You could tell them yours, so why not they? Of course, it's only now that you've grown up that you understand how asking about age could be considered rude.
12. You Had to Share Everything
Had siblings? Even for toys that technically belonged to you, you were always told to share. Sharing was caring, your parents said, but if you asked to borrow a tie or handbag from them, they weren't so eager themselves.
13. You Had to Try Everything at Least Once
It didn't matter if you were picky or the food smelled weird. New dishes came with a nonnegotiable rule: you had to take at least one bite. To adults, it was simply a way to keep kids open-minded, but you often saw it as being forced to eat something you already knew would be awful.
14. You Had to Apologize Even When It Wasn't Your Fault
It didn't matter if you weren't the one who made your sibling cry—you had to apologize. This rule was even stricter if you were the oldest of all the kids in the room. No matter how unfair it all felt, you weren't allowed to continue playing until you said the five-letter word.
15. You Couldn’t Touch Anything in Stores
When you went shopping with your parents, there was always a rule you were expected to follow: look, but don’t touch. Any time you were around glassware or tiny trinkets that looked remotely breakable, you were given the look. Of course, being told not to do something only made you more curious.
16. You Couldn’t Wear Outside Clothes on the Bed or Couch
For some families, you had to change into your indoor clothes the moment you came in from outside. Shoes were obviously banned, but sometimes even sitting down on the couch in the jeans you’d worn all day was enough to get you scolded. As a kid, you never understood why this was, especially when your clothes didn’t look dirty at all.
17. You Couldn’t Have Friends Over If the House Wasn't Clean
Even if your friend was coming over to play video games in your room, the entire house suddenly needed to be absolutely spotless or you'd have to cancel. Bedrooms were straightened, floors were vacuumed, counters were wiped—it was almost as if you were preparing for a house showing.
18. You Had to Stop Playing Because It Was Time to Go
You never knew why you had to go, but whenever your parents said "five more minutes," you were expected to abandon whatever you were playing exactly 300 seconds later. Frustrating as it was, it was just another obscure rule in the Parent Logic book.
19. You Always Had a Curfew
Not only did you have a strict bedtime, but you also had curfews for everything: when you had to finish homework by, when you had to come home by, when you had to stop playing video games by. It seemed like no matter what you did, there was always a time limit.
20. You Couldn't Play Before Homework Was Finished
Ah, yes—the rule all kids remember best. Even if you insisted you worked faster after you had some time to play games, your parents always made homework come first; they didn't care that you’d just spent the entire day at school. Coming home and immediately opening another textbook, of course, only made you want to procrastinate more.
Jessica Lewis 🦋 thepaintedsquare on Unsplash
