10 Signs You're Ready To Be A Mom & 10 Reasons You Should Hold Off
Craving Baby Cuddles And Eight Hours Of Sleep?
It's easy to feel confused and a little overwhelmed when thinking about embarking on the single most life-changing event of your life. The thought of becoming a mom can stir up warm, fuzzy, sparkly feelings one second and sheer panic the next. Are you finding yourself accidentally lingering in the baby clothing section of Target or over-nurturing your houseplants? It may be time to start seriously considering motherhood. But before you make any rash decisions, there are some tough questions to ask yourself to make sure you're really at the right point in your life and not just giving into baby fever. Here are 10 signs you're ready to be a mom and 10 that say you should hold off.
1. You Have Your Life More Or Less In Order
While it's not a requirement, it helps to get your ducks in a row and make sure you can take care of yourself before you let another little life into the world. It's a lot harder to focus on your career and achieve your personal goals when you have a little one to take care of.
2. You Have Baby Fever
Women have something called a "biological clock" and as soon as it starts ticking, it can be hard to turn it off. That feeling of your knees going weak every time you spot a baby or the inability to stop thinking about babies is what is known as baby fever, and it's a sign that maybe it's time to seriously consider having one of your own.
3. You're At A Good Place In Your Relationship
We're not saying it's a requirement to be in a perfect relationship to have a baby. After all, there are plenty of single mothers out there absolutely killing it. We're just saying it certainly helps to feel supported by your partner and to feel that your bond is strong enough to tackle this huge journey together.
4. You're Willing To Make Sacrifices
When you become a mother, you'll inevitably make sacrifices with your time, money, and emotions. You need to be ready and willing to give some part of yourself up.
5. You're Ready To Shift Your Focus Away From Yourself
You may have had a partner or overbearing family member who required a lot of focus, but nothing compares to the absolute change of attention your baby will bring. Never in your life have you really, consistently put someone else ahead of yourself, and you have to be ready for that when you have a child.
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6. You've Had Most Of The Solo Life Experiences You Wanted
Before having a baby, try to get all or most of those experiences that you wanted to have by yourself out of the way, whether that's travelling, going to Burning Man, or learning how to free dive. Otherwise you run the risk of carrying some built-up resentment or regret.
7. You're Financially Stable
In case you didn't know, kids are seriously expensive. While many people jump the gun and have children before they reach a comfortable place financially, it makes life a lot more challenging. You don't need to be rich, but having a good chunk of savings and a decent salary helps.
8. You Have A Strong Support System
Raising kids is a lot of work so before you do so, make sure to build a solid support system. These are the people you can go to if you need advice or help taking care of your child.
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9. You've Thought About It A Lot
If you've been thinking a lot about what motherhood will look like, making plans in your mind, and thinking about changes to your daily routine, you're probably not just daydreaming. It's a pretty good sign you're ready.
10. You're Aware Of The Challenges
Motherhood isn't just fun and games. It's probably the most emotionally and physically taxing thing you'll ever do. Make you're aware of the challenges and that it still sounds worth it for you.
Now that we've covered some of the most telling signs that you're ready to be a momma, let's go over some of the ones that say maybe you should refrain for a while longer.
1. You're Still In Your Party Phase
Being in your party phase doesn't necessarily mean you're spending every weekend getting sloshed and dancing to heavy bass (though it can mean that too). We just mean that you value your freedom and independence above almost everything else and you're not ready to give even a portion of it up.
2. You're Still Figuring Out Your Path
It's a lot easier to devote yourself to your career and get that side of your life sorted out before you have children. If you still feel as though you're right in the center of your self-discovery phase, not quite where you want to be professionally yet, you should keep your focus there before having a kid.
3. You're Not In A Good Place Financially
Being in bad financial shape is stressful enough for a single person. Put having a child to care for on top of that and you've got a downright horrendous situation. While you don't need to be swimming in money, make sure you're financially healthy and independent before having kids so you have the means to cater to their needs.
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4. Your Relationship Is Rocky
No one's relationship is perfect, but you want to feel like you have a strong foundation based on love, trust, and respect before having a child together. No one wants to bring a kid into a world of bickering and heated arguments.
5. You're Not Very Emotionally Stable
An astounding number of people suffer from mental health difficulties. It's not necessarily a deal-breaker for parenthood, however, you should feel as though you have the strength to be patient, kind, and basically, a good mother before you have kids.
6. You Feel Pressured
If your wish to have kids is more linked to external pressures from family, friends, and society than your genuine desire, then you should rethink it. Think long and hard on this one as it can be hard to separate what you truly want from what others want for you.
7. You're Not Ready For The "Motherhood Penalty"
Unfortunately, the world is still a little unbalanced when it comes to what a mother is expected to give up professionally compared to a father. You'll be taking months or even years of maternity leave to have a child, so make sure you're ready for that ensuing career setback.
8. You Have Physical Health Issues
Plenty of people have chronic physical health issues and still have perfectly healthy, happy children. Just make sure you're managing them well as being pregnant is extremely hard on the body and will only be harder if you aren't in good physical form.
9. You're Satisfied With Your Life As It Is
No one said you have to have children. Well, okay, maybe someone did say that, but you don't have to listen to them. Your life is yours to live and if you're perfectly satisfied as is, then why make the huge, drastic change of becoming a mom?
10. You Lack A Strong Support System
Any parent can tell you how important it is to have friends or family you can count on to help you through the most trying times of motherhood. If you don't already have a good system of people you can count on, work on building that up before you become a mother.
