In your late 20s and 30s, you might expect to feel more settled because you’ve got some life experience and at least a rough sense of who you are. But for some, this stage of life often doesn't match exactly what their younger self may have pictured. You might still be in school, or in the middle of changing careers. You might be married, going through a divorce, or living happily alone. You might not even be friends with the same people you once swore to keep forever.
As unpredictable as our late 20s and 30s feel, though, they're also a time of growth. You're still constantly learning, every day, new ways to enjoy life, to meet new people, to better understand yourself. And sometimes, it's that unpredictability that makes it so fun, even if it's frustrating, too.
Friendships Take More Effort Than Before
It can be strangely difficult to make friends after you've graduated from college, even if you’re friendly and socially capable. It's not so much that people are closed off, but that they're living different routines and have different responsibilities. Work, partners, kids, commutes, and burnout don’t leave a lot of spontaneous room, so you can't just ask if a friend is up for a late-night drive and assume they'll say yes. If it feels like everyone already has their group or bubble, you’re not imagining it.
The frustrating part is that maintaining friendships becomes a skill in adulthood. You can’t rely on proximity the way you did in school or early jobs, so you have to take initiative and create chances to keep seeing people. That means being the one who reaches out, planning ahead, and sometimes following up twice, or thrice. It can feel awkward, but consistency is what makes relationships stick when life gets busy.
You also realize that not every friendship is meant to last forever, even when you thought otherwise. That doesn’t mean anybody did anything wrong, though. Some people fit perfectly in your life in one chapter and then slowly stop being a good match, and that's okay. That's normal. That doesn't mean you can't still mourn lost friendships, but if you can let people fade from your life without turning it into a story about your worth, you’ll save yourself a lot of unnecessary stress. Trust us.
Your Career Might Take a Sharp Left, Which Could Be a Good Thing
Most people don’t end up following the exact path they pictured at 23, even if they look “successful” on paper. You might wake up one day and realize you’ve gotten good at a job you don’t actually want anymore. Or you might hit a milestone you chased for years only to feel... oddly neutral about it. That moment can be confusing because you’re supposed to be grateful, and you are, but you’re also restless.
Career pivots can happen fast once you admit what’s not working. Sometimes it’s a new manager, a burnout moment, a layoff, or simply watching someone a few years ahead of you and thinking, “I don’t want their life.” If you’re switching fields or redefining what success looks like, you’re not “starting over” as much as you’re bringing skills with you.
And remember: it's never too late to pivot. Career changes are a lot more common than you might think. If you're ever questioning your future and wondering if a different route may be better for you, don't hesitate; just put yourself out there, take the first step, and do it. You'll be glad you did.
Everyone’s Timeline Is Different
At some point, you also realize you’re no longer reaching the same milestones as the people around you. One friend is getting married, another is divorced, another is having a second kid, and someone else just moved across the country to start all over. Meanwhile, you might be focused on your career, your mental health, your finances, or simply figuring out what you actually want in life. It’s not that anyone’s living “wrong” or “right,” but that everyone's timeline is different.
This is where comparison can sneak in, which can affect the way you feel about yourself. It can show up as doubt, feeling like you’re behind, or late, or missing a memo everyone else somehow got. Social media makes it worse because you’re mostly seeing announcements, highlights, and accomplishments, not the hardships in between. The result is that you can still feel pressured even when you’re happy with your choices and the life you've built so far.
What helps is getting honest about what you genuinely want versus what you’ve been trained to want. Some milestones are meaningful to you, and some are only meaningful because that's what society says. If you’re not careful, you’ll chase the wrong ones and wonder why you still feel unsettled. When you define your own markers—more freedom, a healthier routine, a creative project, a calmer home life—you stop measuring yourself against someone else’s schedule. And that can be extremely freeing. After all, why should you live by someone else's standards?
