The 10 Worst Things About Being Single In Your 30s & 10 The 10 Best
It’s Not All Bad, but It’s Not All Bliss
Being single in your 30s can feel like living in two realities at once: one where you’re thriving, and one where someone’s aunt is making you feel like an old spinster. The hard parts are real, but so are the perks, and sometimes they show up on the same day. Here are the 10 worst things about being single in your 30s and 10 that actually rule.
1. People Treat It Like a Problem to Solve
You can be perfectly happy, and someone will still react like you’ve misplaced your other half. Conversations turn into matchmaking auditions faster than you’d expect. It’s exhausting having to reassure people you’re not secretly miserable.
2. Frequent Weddings Add Pressure
Your calendar can fill up with save-the-dates like it’s your second job. You’ll spend money, travel, and smile through speeches that make you briefly question your life choices. Even when you’re genuinely happy for your friends, the comparison trap is real.
3. Dating Apps Can Feel Like Homework
Swiping starts off as a curious hobby and quickly turns into a part-time role with poor management. You can have three promising chats and one weird message before lunch. It’s hard not to get burned out when every connection feels like it needs a resume.
4. People Assume You’re “Too Picky”
Wanting basic emotional maturity can get labeled as being unrealistic. You’ll hear advice that sounds like it was written in 2009. Holding standards isn’t a flaw, but the commentary can make it feel like one.
5. Friendships Shift When Friends Couple Up
Friends with whom you used to party or stay up all night talking become harder to make plans with once they're in serious relationships, and when you do get to hang out, it usually includes their significant other. It can feel like they just don't prioritize your friendship anymore, even if you were the shoulder they cried on when their last breakup happened. It's totally normal for friendships to evolve, but it still kind of sucks.
6. Holidays Can Hit a Little Harder
Even if you like your own company, certain dates come with extra emotional volume. The couples photos, the family questions, and the “so, anyone special?” conversations can pile up. You can be fine and still feel a little tender.
7. There’s Less Built-In Backup
When you’re sick, stressed, or dealing with a crisis, you may not have a default person to tap in. You can absolutely build strong support systems, but it takes effort and planning. Some days, you just want someone else to handle the annoying parts.
Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash
8. Social Events Can Feel Weirdly Couple-Centered
Dinner parties can turn into accidental relationship summits while you smile and sip your drink. People pair off in conversation, and you end up talking to the dog, which is not the worst outcome, but still. It’s a subtle kind of isolation that can surprise you.
9. The “Timeline” Pressure Gets Loud
In your 30s, certain things start to suddenly feel a lot more urgent. If you want kids or marriage someday, that voice can get especially intense. Even when you’re doing great, the biological clock can mess with your head.
10. Bad Dates Feel More Personal Than They Should
A mediocre date in your 20s is a funny story, but in your 30s, it can feel like wasted time. You might catch yourself wondering if you’re missing some secret rule everyone else learned. The truth is, dating is just messy, but it can still get to you.
Now that we've discussed 10 things that just bite about being single in your 30s, let's talk about the things that are great about it.
1. You Know Yourself Better Than You Used To
By your 30s, you usually understand your patterns, your needs, and your deal-breakers. You’re not guessing who you are; you’ve lived it. That clarity makes your choices feel more intentional.
Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
2. Your Peace Belongs to You
You get to come home to a space that stays the way you like it. Living is fun, calm, and easy. You get to do what you want without negotiating every last detail.
3. You Can Be Selective for the Right Reasons
You’re not dating for validation, or at least you’re less tempted to. If someone doesn’t match your values, you can walk away without trying to force it. Being single gives you room to wait for something that actually fits.
4. Your Friendships Can Get Deeper
Without a partner taking up the “default” slot, you often invest more in your community. You can build friendships that feel like chosen family. Those connections hold you up in ways that are easy to underestimate.
5. You Can Take Risks Without Compromising Someone Else
You can move cities, switch jobs, travel, or reinvent your routine without having to negotiate every detail. That freedom can be a big deal if you’re ambitious or restless. Your life can pivot quickly when it only needs one yes.
6. Your Money Choices Are Fully Yours
You can prioritize savings, spend on experiences, or buy the fancy pillow without a committee meeting. Financial independence isn’t just practical, it's empowering. It’s nice knowing you’re building a life you can support on your own.
micheile henderson on Unsplash
7. You Don’t Settle Out of Panic
Being single in your 30s can teach you that you can thrive in solitude. Once you’re not afraid of being alone, you stop tolerating nonsense. That confidence tends to attract healthier connections.
8. You Get to Design Your Days
Weekends can be restful, social, productive, or gloriously lazy, depending on what you need. You can say yes to last-minute plans or opt out without explaining yourself. It’s a lifestyle that can feel surprisingly rich.
9. You Have More Space for Personal Growth
You can focus on therapy, hobbies, health, and goals without trying to balance a relationship’s needs at the same time. That doesn’t mean relationships block growth, but singlehood can give it extra oxygen. You might look up and realize you’ve leveled up a lot.
10. When the Right Person Shows Up, It’s a Choice
You’re not looking for someone to complete you; you’re looking for someone to add to a life that already works. That changes the tone of dating in the best way. If love arrives, it can feel like a bonus, not a requirement.
