10 Things Even Happy Couples Fight About & 10 Things They Never Argue Over
Even the Happiest Couples Argue
A real relationship's strength isn't defined by the absence of conflict, but it matters what couples fight about. While small disagreements are a normal part of sharing a life, certain issues never rear their ugly heads in strong relationships because they're rooted in trust, shared values, and respect. Here are 10 things even happy couples fight over and 10 they don't.
1. Money
Money is one of the top things couples fight about. One partner might see money as security while the other sees it as a way of enjoying life. It creates significant stress in a relationship, even in happy ones.
2. Parenting Styles
As two different people with varying upbringings, it's normal and expected not to see eye to eye on everything parenting-related. You can be incredibly in love and happy, but still have differences when raising children.
3. Quality Time
Throughout life, you see ebbs and flows when it comes to having time for each other. While one couple has time off, the other is drowning in work or has individual engagements to prioritize, making the other feel ignored.
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4. Communication
One wants to talk immediately, while the other needs space. Fights about feeling unheard, misunderstood, or partners not picking up on cues are common, no matter how long you've been together.
5. Phone Habits
Screen time and phone habits, like scrolling in bed or texting during a conversation, can cause significant frustration between partners. A behavior known as "phubbing" (phone snubbing) is a frequent source of conflict.
6. Intimacy
Differences in desire, frequency, or emotional connection around intimacy are common for couples. When one person has a higher libido than the other, it leaves one person feeling pressured while the other feels unattractive.
7. In-Laws
In-laws and disagreements around family boundaries are also extremely common for couples. This includes things like how to spend holidays, or one partner clashing with the family of the other.
8. Stress Spillover
When you're sharing a life with someone, it's common for the stress you experience at work or in other aspects of life to spill over into the home. Accidentally taking it out on your partner may happen sometimes.
9. Minor Lifestyle Differences
As two different people, there's no need to expect each other to follow the same lifestyle. Having different diets, levels of exercise, and hobbies is normal and healthy as long as you can balance each other's schedules.
10. Time Management
Time management is another source of disagreement for perfectly healthy couples. One person is always late, commonly overbooks, or the two of you have different definitions of "on time."
No, that we've talked about what even healthy, happy couples fight about, let's go over the things they never do.
1. Trust
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you don't trust your partner, that's a crucial problem and doesn't lend itself to a harmonious long-term relationship.
2. Long-Term Vision
While each of you may have different personal goals, it's important to share some essential life goals. If one of you wants kids, for example, while the other doesn't, it's a recipe for a breakup.
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3. Minor Household Chores
Happy couples don't tend to fight over petty things. If there's a massive imbalance in the division of labor, that's one thing, but fighting over who takes out the trash is something only unstable couples would clash over.
4. Keeping Score
Happy couples would never act as emotional accountants, tallying each other's good or bad acts to use as ammunition. The focus is on mutual support and effort; it's not transactional.
5. Past Mistakes
Bringing up past mistakes in a fight isn't constructive. Unhealthy couples do it to "gain the upper hand," but it only makes things worse in the long run.
6. Control
Healthy, happy couples don't manipulate each other, play mind games, or monitor. They have each other's best interests in mind and recognize that these things are a form of abuse.
7. Commitment
Happy couples never question each other's level of commitment. Even when fights happen, there's no questioning whether the other is "in it."
8. Respect
Happy couples respect each other no matter what. They don't insult, belittle, or intentionally hurt one another.
9. Core Values
While it's normal for there to be differences on the small stuff, core values should align. Healthy couples are aligned on big-picture beliefs like integrity and honesty.
10. Basic Effort
Happy couples never fight over basic effort in the relationship. Each person is putting in the work and cherishes the relationship.
