Ending a relationship is a tough decision, and one that should not be taken lightly. Emotions will be high, feelings will get hurt, and doubt will impair your judgement. You have to be sure that breaking up is the right next step in your life, because there might not be any chance to go back.
Before you leap, you need to ask yourself one question: "Am I truly happy in this relationship?". The answer will tell you everything you need to know and guide you toward the right decision, regardless of whether your partner's feelings will get hurt.
To help you out, let's dissect what this question really means, so you can answer it honestly and make an informed decision.
Emotional Fulfillment
At the heart of this question is evaluating your happiness and level of fulfillment. One strategy is to assess your emotional connection to your partner, and if it makes you feel content every day.
Relationships thrive when both partners are fulfilled and feel understood. Ask yourself if your emotional needs are being met consistently, and if you're emotionally nourished rather than depleted. Often, people mistake common irritations or minor fights as a lack of love when it's actually an underlying emotional problem or disconnect.
If your efforts to emotionally reconnect with your partner haven't worked, then your dissatisfaction might not be temporary. By questioning your happiness in your relationship, you're forcing yourself to focus on your emotional well-being.
Overall Compatibility
Emotional fulfilment and happiness are also closely related to how compatible you and your partner are. You need to evaluate how you align with life goals, whether it's having children, traveling, religion, or career aspirations. The first step, however, is to reflect on what it is you want out of your relationship and life.
If you find that too many of your values don't align, you have the option to compromise on your core beliefs or to move on. The last thing you want is to resent your partner for wanting a different life than you, as the relationship will reach a point where it can not be repaired.
Do You Want to Work on Your Relationship?
Not to throw another big question at you and your relationship, but the question of your happiness relates to whether you even want to work on the issues you're experiencing with your partner. If you have no desire to work on your relationship because it doesn't feed your happiness, then you know what you have to do.
This part requires honest dialogue with yourself and your partner. Consider whether you've already put in sufficient time and energy to fix your problems. If not, you need to reflect on whether there's a reason you haven't. If you feel like your partner won't be receptive to your attempts to repair your relationship, then there is nowhere left to go.
Asking "Am I truly happy in this relationship?" is a can of worms, but one that everyone needs to ask at some point if they're considering dumping their partner. It helps you better understand your relationship and what you want to get out of it. It also forces you to be honest about your current situation and if change is needed.
