To Be Single Or Not To Be Single
There’s nothing wrong with being single, unless you’re itching for a partner, that is. If you’re desperate to get with someone but are facing the starkness of loneliness, then you’re not alone. More people are single than ever, but luckily, these tips will help you cope and turn it around—whether that means making peace or finding that perfect partner.
1. Get Social
Sometimes the lack of a partner feels so much bigger because you’re lonely in other aspects of your life. It’s an unfortunate reality that many men don’t have deep friendships, so focus on fixing that first. Make time to hang out with your friends, and if they’re not real friends, time to find new ones.
2. Join Activities
A great way to meet people when the apps aren’t working is by joining groups. Join a Facebook group or subreddit for your city, or even install the MeetUp app on your phone. All of these cities are home to activity groups like board game groups and fitness groups, so find one you like, join up, and meet people.
3. Make Female Friends
If you go into groups and activities with the intention of making friends first, it might surprise you how much it will benefit your single status. Don’t talk and meet women solely for the purpose of dating, but enjoy their companionship and friendship as well. You might be wondering how this is relevant? Well, female friends are known for setting their friends up with one another, so think of it as networking.
4. Work On Yourself
Rather than focus on the validation and attention of others, take these quiet or dry spells to focus on yourself instead. Everyone can do with some improvement, and you can take this time to hit the gym, work on your career, or maybe learn a new skill.
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5. Enjoy Singlehood
There are perks to being single that you might be overlooking. There’s no one to report to, and all your decisions are your own. So have some fun with that. Stay out late, go to parties, and live all your bachelor dreams, because for all you know, you might meet the one next week.
6. Give It Time
Speaking of meeting the one, sometimes it really is a timing thing. Love is rare, more rare than a lot of movies would lead you to believe. So be patient, focus on other aspects of your life, and wait for it.
7. Law of Attraction
If you want a more spiritual tip, lean into the law of attraction. This is a New Thought belief that positive thoughts will bring positive outcomes. Similar to the idea of manifestation, the idea here is to think positive thoughts and hope for the best, and it will come.
8. Get Out More
If you’re really eager to get dating, then sitting around and swiping might not be the best use of your time—especially if it hasn’t worked yet. So instead, try to go out and do things every weekend, or even every other night. See what events are happening in your city and attend them.
9. Right Place, Right Time
There are plenty of girls out there who romantically daydream about meeting a cute guy at a café or a bookstore, or something of that sort. So go be that guy! Of course, you don’t want to hit on women if they’re minding their own business, but you can usually pick up on signs of interest and test the water. Essentially, this advice is to go work on your laptop at a café instead of at home, or study at a library instead of in your dorm. This way, you’re more likely to meet or talk to someone.
10. Lean Into Apps
While it’s easy to dismiss apps, especially if they don’t work, that’s no reason to completely quit on them. Instead, maybe get more apps? Instead of the usual Tinder or Bumble, try the more specialized apps. For instance, there’s Boo for nerdy people, and Christian Mingle for religious-oriented people.
11. Ask Your Parents
This might be a weird one for some people, but in other cultures, it’s very normal for parents to help set up their kids. So ask your mom or dad if they can keep an eye out for you and perhaps introduce you to people you could hit it off with.
12. The Expat
You’ve probably heard those stories about people who travel around, meet someone on vacation, and fall head over heels. Or perhaps you’ve heard the “Expat” stories about men who meet like-minded women in specific countries. Well either way, traveling is a great way to meet new people and make connections that can easily carry over.
13. Reconsider Your Standards
The heart wants what it wants, and you can’t be attracted to something you’re not, but if you’ve been dating for a while without success, maybe it’s time to reconsider your standards. Maybe try talking to or going out with people you normally wouldn’t. It could pleasantly surprise you.
14. Don’t Worry About Timelines
A lot of people feel the immense pressure of a timeline on their heads. The idea that they should be married at a certain age and have kids at another. But rather than stress about these predetermined notions, take a breather and let things move at their own pace. Lots of people find love later, and plenty of people who get married early can also find themselves single when older.
15. Date Yourself
Unfortunately, some men feel they need a partner to go out and do certain things, whether that’s going to the movies or eating out at a restaurant. But that’s not true at all, and you can still enjoy all sorts of activities single. Consider it dating yourself, and take yourself out to cafes and events.
16. Work On Your Profile
If you are trying to get the most out of online dating apps, then you might as well go all-in and craft a strong profile. It’s not unheard of to get some professional photos done. Maybe take some extra time to craft the perfect bio, and put effort into the messaging, even if you’ve been at it for a while.
17. Get Into Hobbies
Whether you’re waiting for the right person or are feeling a bit caught up in the loneliness, you can always distract yourself with hobbies. In fact, having hobbies helps make you a full person, and while going to the gym is fantastic, don’t let that be your entire personality. For a full life, try to do more things. Take up new hobbies, learn new skills, and visit more events.
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18. Don’t Chase
Sometimes it’s easy to feel afraid of being single, so much so that you chase bad relationships. Sometimes two is a lonelier number than one, especially if you pick the wrong partner. Don’t sacrifice your peace for companionship.
19. Identify Your Needs
The desire for a partner can be split up into multiple categories, and sometimes you can meet these needs without an actual partner. Ask yourself what you’re really craving. Companionship? Intimacy? Help with the household? There are other solutions to those problems that can tide you over until you find the right person.
20. Don’t Give Up
Even if you’ve been single all your life, you shouldn’t give up. Have hope and find other outlets for social connection and companionship. A partner may come along eventually, but you should still find ways to have a full and happy life in the meantime.
