Mixed Signals
Are they into you, or are you being friend-zoned? Sometimes, it can be hard to differentiate whether someone likes you more than a friend or if they're just overly friendly and comfortable with everyone. If you need help clearing things up, we've got you covered. Here are 10 telltale signs someone has a crush on you—and 10 signs you're being friend-zoned.
1. Prolonged Eye Contact
When someone has a crush on you, they're more likely to not only maintain eye contact with you, but stare just a little bit longer than normal. This lingering gaze can tell a lot, and if you manage to catch their pupils dilating, they likely have a crush on you.
2. Leans Toward You
How do they act when they're around you? What's their body language like? If they often subtly lean toward you or mirror your actions without knowing (think: brushing their hair back, crossing their arms, or touching their ears), it could mean their mind and body are tuned into you, and they have deeper feelings for you beyond just friendship.
3. Remembers Small Details
Do they remember some obscure fact or detail you mentioned a few weeks ago? Maybe you told them there was a book you wanted to read, but the comment was offhand and not important, and even then, they still remembered and brought it back up. Sure, they might just have good memory, but most people wouldn't go out of their way to not only remember those details but also bring them back up.
4. Finds Excuses to Touch You
Do they find subtle ways to touch you? Maybe it's a hand on your arm, a finger brushing your wrist, or a palm at the small of your back. Take note of how many times they initiate these touches and whether they linger: it could be a telltale sign they don't just think of you as a friend.
5. Flirtatious Teasing
You also want to take note of how they tease you. If they poke fun at you in a way that comes off flirtatious, such as giving you a playful nickname, pointing out something silly or nerdy about you, or mimicking your actions in a lighthearted, humorous way—they might be harboring a huge crush on you.
6. Tries to Impress You
When you have a crush on someone, you probably want to impress them somehow, whether it's telling them a funny joke or showing them how much you can lift. Pay attention to these signs the next time you suspect someone might have a crush on you. And if they glance at you for your reaction, that only makes it more telling.
7. Energy Shifts When Near You
What is their personality normally like around other people? Are they usually smiley and outgoing? Are they mature and quiet? If their usual energy shifts gears as soon as they're near you, it could be a telltale sign that they have a crush on you. (And yes: sometimes, even if they deliberately go out of their way to ignore you, it might mean they actually really like you.)
8. How They Text
You can tell a lot about how someone else feels about you in the way they text. Do they reply quickly whenever you shoot them a message? Do they try to expand these conversations, ask more questions, and make frequent comments? If you can sense their interest through texting, it could mean they have a crush on you.
9. Invites You to Something
Someone who likes you will often go out of their way to invite you to something, whether it's to a party, social event, or a one-on-one outing. It all depends on how forward they are. If the person tends to be more shy and quiet, then they might find ways to subtly suggest these invitations and one-on-ones without being too direct.
10. Talk About You with Others
If their friends tell you that they hear a lot about you from that person, that's another telltale sign that they likely have a crush on you. After all, we love bringing up people we're interested in, even if we sometimes don't mean to do it so often and outright—their name just slips out of our mouths.
Now that you know some signs that show if someone has a crush on you, let's jump into the opposite: How can you tell if someone is just being friendly? Here are 10 can't-miss signs they're friend-zoning you:
1. Casual or Generic Compliments
Someone who thinks of you as just a friend won't usually go out of their way to compliment you in a personal, intimate sense. For example, they might comment that they like your new haircut, but they typically won't say, "Oh, this haircut suits you so well, considering you always wear your hair like this," which may show that they pay extra attention to you.
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2. Treat You Like Everyone Else
Another way you can tell someone probably doesn't have a crush on you is how they treat you and act around you. If they joke and chat with you the same way they do with everyone else, those conversations are just that: friendly conversations.
3. Don't Initiate One-on-One
Someone who just likes you as a friend won't initiate one-on-ones; they might, instead, initiate group outings that include you. This shows that they don't care too much about getting to spend time with you alone—they just think of you like everyone else.
4. Neutral Body Language
As previously mentioned, a person who might be crushing on you is more likely to lean toward you or mirror your actions. In other words, their body language is open and tuned into yours. Someone who only thinks of you as a friend, on the other hand, will maintain neutral body language and won't tip into your personal space.
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5. Relaxed Energy Around You
What's their energy like around you? Do they maintain sort of the same personality and attitude around you? Are they carefree and open? Sure, confident people might still be relatively relaxed around someone they like, but even then, there's often a subtle difference between how they act around others versus around you. Again, if they treat you like everyone else, they probably don't like you that way.
6. Surface-Level Conversations
What kind of conversations do you have with this person? Is it usually just generic small talk, or surface-level chats about work or what you did over the weekend? If these talks never stray into deeper, more intimate, personal topics, it likely means you're both strictly platonic. You should also pay attention to the kinds of questions they ask you: Do they try to pry further, or do they just maintain friendly interest?
7. Normal Attention Level
Do they pay extra attention to you, or are they just maintaining normal interest? Take note of how they make eye contact with you and how their listening skills are. Typically, someone who just thinks of you as a friend will only remain open and curious, but won't be casting lingering gazes or leaning into your space.
8. No Jealousy
If you can casually chat with this person about your past relationships and partners, and they remain neutral about it, it probably means they don't think of you as more than a friend. Sure, some people are more mature and less likely to get jealous, but if they had any inkling of interest toward you, they likely wouldn't be too comfortable discussing your past love life.
9. Late Replies
Do they take a long time to reply to your texts? Are their responses usually dry and curt, leaving no room to expand the conversation? Do they typically only answer your questions but don't ask any themselves? If you said yes to any or all of these, they probably don't like you that way.
10. No Lingering
Again, you want to pay attention to lingering glances or touches, and how often these are initiated. If the person you have in mind usually doesn't maintain further eye contact, maintain normal attention levels, and doesn't try to subtly lean into your space or find excuses to touch you, you have your answer: they don't have a crush on you.
