Micah & Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash
The times they are definitely a-changing! In the past, elopement used to be seen as something shameful. Couples who weren't accepted by their families or made spur-of-the-moment decisions ran away together rather than going all out on a church wedding.
Today, on the other hand, elopement is more popular than ever. No longer something shameful, many young couples are choosing to forgo the big day for something smaller and cheaper. However, finances aren't the only reason why elopements are rising in popularity.
Less Pressure, More Personality
That said, financial reasons are a key motivator for many couples. With the economy more uncertain now than ever and many still recovering from the impacts of Covid, a big wedding simply isn't feasible. There isn't one baseline cost for your average wedding, but a study from The Knot estimates that the big day starts at $33k.
Simply put, not everyone has that kind of money! Even for couples who have been living together and sharing finances for a few years, the process of financing and planning a wedding can put major strain on even the most loving of relationships. You shouldn't have to go into debt to get married.
Even if you DIY your decorations and thrift your dress, you still have the venue and catering fees to worry about. If you hold the wedding in your own backyard, you have to ensure that there's enough seating for everyone, which may mean renting chairs. With so many things to worry about, the reason for the big day can easily get lost in the details.
Furthermore, not everyone wants a big wedding. Pressure from family or society can lead couples to spend money that they truly can't afford to fulfill expectations. Your wedding day should be about you, not about pleasing others.
If big weddings aren't for everyone, we shouldn't force them. They can be chaotic and stressful, two emotions which should be the last thing you want a happy couple to feel on their wedding day. By choosing elopement over a big ceremony, couples are prioritizing the authenticity of their relationship.
Redefining Elopements For The Modern Age
Now seems as good a time as any to clear up what we mean when we say "elopement". We're not talking about taking the midnight train to get married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas. As society has evolved, so too has elopement.
At their most basic, an elopement is a simple wedding without the extended ceremony and reception. You can elope at a courthouse, in your own backyard, even on top of a mountain! The most important thing about an elopement is that you and your future spouse focus on each other.
You can still have the white dress for an elopement. You can still recreate the dreamiest photos you find on Pinterest. You can even have a few guests at your elopement.
Elopements have become popular not only because they're more intimate than a traditional wedding, but because they allow the couple more freedom. If you don't want to follow a wedding tradition such as the garter toss, you simply don't have to. An elopement can be a grand adventure or as simple as signing a piece of paper.
Just as much thought goes into an elopement as a big wedding. The biggest difference is that there's less pressure for the couple to perform. Instead, they can be themselves and enjoy the moment.
So, if you get a marriage announcement in the mail without an invite to the ceremony or a family member suddenly shows up with a ring on their finger, don't scoff at their elopement because it's a break from tradition. Instead, keep an open mind and tell them how happy you are for them. Every marriage is different.
