Preparing Yourself
No one likes to think about losing a spouse, especially after decades of building a life together. But the reality is that older couples often handle certain duties, leaving the partner completely in the dark, should time suddenly sneak up on them. Rather than be left in the dark during a difficult time, here are 20 things wives over 60 should know how to do so they’re not left guessing when life changes.
1. Know How Much Is In Your Bank Account
You should know exactly how much money is in all of the accounts: checking, savings, retirement, and investment. That means knowing the bank names, login details, account numbers, and whether the accounts are joint, individual, or payable-on-death. You and your husband can even go over it once every few months as a refresher!
2. Learn How To Pay Bills
Every wife should know which bills are due each month, how much they usually cost, and how they’re paid. If your husband has everything on autopay, make a written list for the payment date, the account used, the company name, and any potential customer service phone numbers.
3. Understand The Property Situation
You need to know all the nitty-gritty about your property, regardless of whether you own or rent. In particular, if you own the house, find out whether the property is held jointly, in a trust, or under another arrangement. If a mortgage payment comes straight from your husband’s personal account, you’ll need to know how to keep it current if that account becomes inaccessible.
4. Know Where Important Documents Are
Important papers shouldn’t be hidden in random spots. You should know where to find birth certificates, marriage certificates, Social Security cards, insurance policies, car titles, tax returns, wills, and funeral plans. A clearly labeled filing system never hurt anyone!
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5. The Basics of Online Passwords
Many households now run through passwords, and being locked out can create serious problems should one of you pass. If he has everything saved on his phone, ask him to show you how to unlock it, find the password list, and update passwords safely. You can also keep a list of passwords in that filing system we talked about!
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6. Understand Your Health Insurance
Health coverage is almost always confusing, but you need to know what plan you have and what it actually covers. Learn whether you have Medicare, prescription coverage, long-term care insurance, or coverage through your husband’s retirement benefits. The more you know, the less of a headache it’ll be later.
7. Know How To Handle The Car
Even if your husband always tinkered with the car, you should know the basics. Find out where the title is, whose name is on the registration, and which mechanic you trust. There’s nothing wrong with learning how to check the tire pressure, either. You can also brush up on how to schedule an oil change, renew tags, and call roadside assistance.
8. Learn Who To Call For Home Repairs
The last thing you want is to stand in the kitchen while water leaks from under the sink. Even if your husband took care of everything, make a list of reliable contacts. Include specific names, phone numbers, and notes such as “fixed the water heater in 2024” or “does not charge a weekend fee.”
9. Understand Your Husband’s Final Wishes
We know this conversation can be painful, but avoiding it only creates more stress. It’s important to ask whether he wants a burial or cremation. It’s important to ask what kind of service he prefers. It’s important to ask about funeral expenses.
10. Know What Income Will Continue
After a spouse dies, some income may change in ways you didn’t expect, which is why you should understand what happens to Social Security, pensions, retirement withdrawals, rental income—you name it. With all of that knowledge under your belt, you’ll have an easier time keeping your life on track.
11. How to Read a Credit Card Statement
Credit card statements show more than what you owe; they show spending patterns, interest charges, and possible fraud. When you can make sense of the numbers, you won’t get confused by any jargon, so brush up on it now.
12. The Family Taxes
You don’t need to become an accountant, but you should know who prepares your taxes and where past returns are stored. Learn whether you file jointly, what deductions are usually claimed, whether estimated payments are required, and whether you owe or receive refunds most years. If your husband’s the one who tackles tax season, ask him to introduce you to the accountant.
13. How to Contact Financial Professionals
A spouse’s death often means you’ll need to speak with professionals who already know your household finances. Do yourself a favor and keep a list of any big names you’ll need to contact, especially those with sensitive information. Include the company name, phone number, email address, and a short note about what each person handles, too.
14. What Insurance Policies Exist
Insurance only covers you if you know the policies are there and how to claim them. It won’t be pretty, but you need to sift through your coverage and make sure you get it. Additionally, write down the policy numbers, beneficiaries, payment dates, and whether premiums are paid from a bank account or credit card.
15. Understand Your Will
Don’t forget that legal documents should be reviewed before there’s an emergency, not after one. Know whether you and your husband have wills. If your husband named an adult child, sibling, or former employer record years ago, it may need to be corrected before it causes a problem after the fact.
16. How to Manage Technology
Modern homes depend on a lot more than rotary phones. The reality is that you might be left to reset the router, manage the security system, operate the thermostat, or simply access the smart TV. If your husband set up the internet account under his email, make sure you know the login, too.
17. Your Medical Information
No one should have to wait for a life change to understand basic information that pertains tot them. Keep a current list of all the crucial stuff, like medications, surgeries, diagnoses, and emergency contacts.
18. How to Make Decisions
It sounds simple, but after years of marriage, it’s common for one spouse to become the final decision-maker in certain areas. That’s why it’s so important that you start practicing with smaller choices now, such as scheduling repairs or deciding whether to replace an appliance. Building confidence while your husband is still around makes bigger decisions less intimidating later.
19. Who Your Real Support System Is
After a massive loss, you’ll need people in your corner, so it’s worth knowing whose dependable. Spot the people who would actually show up, such as a daughter who can help with paperwork or a sibling who can stay overnight. Keep their phone numbers written down, too; grief can make even simple things harder to remember.
20. How to Live Your Own Routine
A strong marriage can make everyday life feel shared, so when that gets uprooted, it’s easy to feel like you’re in a tailspin. Work on some of your own hobbies now! This doesn’t mean loving him any less; it means giving yourself the steadiness you’ll need if you ever have to stand on your own.
