Ticking Off The Boxes
No matter how much you try to go on dates with an open mind, there are always a few things you're looking out for. After all, when you're trying to find your perfect someone, there needs to be some standards! Here are 20 things we all secretly keep an eye on when going on a first date.
1. Punctuality
Before your date even begins, you're likely already testing them on one big factor: whether they're going to show up on time. Punctuality may not seem like much, but it's actually very telling of how interested your date is in you. Because if they wanted to put in the effort to impress you, they wouldn't be late.
2. Location of Date
While it doesn't have to be a five-star Michelin restaurant, some thought into the location of your date is definitely appreciated. Did they take you somewhere they're excited for you to try? Or did they just pick wherever's closest to your house so they can save on gas?
3. Clothes
Before you even exchange a "hello," the first point of attraction is always physical; it's what you see. That's why making a good first impression might come down to what you choose to wear on your date. It doesn't have to be extra fancy, just don't show up looking sloppy.
4. Hair
Speaking of clothes, hair matters too! A little bit of effort into making sure your hair is neatly combed or styled can go a long way. It's a sign that you tried, and that means a lot. Show up with messy, tangled hair and you're sure to leave your date unimpressed.
5. Their Smell
Smell is a surprisingly important factor you may have forgotten about when it comes to first dates. From putting on an offensive-smelling cologne to spraying too much perfume, there's a delicate line you have to walk. You want to smell nice, not overpowering or bad.
6. How They Greet You
Is their hello warm and friendly, or distant and cold? Their actions and the first words your date utters to you can indicate how the night is going to go. It sets the tone immediately.
7. How They Treat Service Workers
Most first dates end up at a restaurant, which means you get a front row seat into seeing how your date treats service workers. Because you know how it does - how you treat others, especially in customer service, is very telling of your personality.
8. Paying The Bill
Often the culprit of dates ending awkwardly, paying for the bill can be a sensitive topic. While there isn't one designated person in charge of biting the bullet, it can come across a bit unattractively if your date blurts out they want to split the bill to the waiter. Definitely something you want to discuss with your date before the waiter arrives.
9. Their Smile
An attractive point for many, your date's smile can play a huge part in how interested you feel in them. A warm, friendly smile that draws you in is a major plus, but an awkward, cold one can really turn you away. And if they don't smile at all? Well, it's clear they're just not having a good time.
10. Conversation Skills
It's one thing to be nervous, but it's another to have bad conversation skills. If the person sitting opposite of you is incredibly quiet, struggling to come up with topics, or simply brings up insensitive ones, it can come off as a red flag or major turn-off.
11. Overall Hygiene
Hygiene doesn't just consist of how you style your hair, what you wear, and how you smell, it's also looking at if your nails are nicely trimmed, and behaviors like covering your mouth when you cough. Doing these things are considered the very bare minimum.
12. Sense of Humor
The best way to break the ice on a first date is with tons of laughter and smiles. A good sense of humor that matches your own is something everyone looks for, so if it's missing, it's extra noticeable. It's even worse if your date's humor makes you uncomfortable or cringe.
13. Aura
Not all forms of attraction are tangible, sometimes it's just about how they make you feel. You can likely sense the aura or energy your date gives off just from sitting across from them, and that judgey feeling usually has to do with your gut instinct. Trust it.
14. Phone Usage
One of the rudest things your date can do on a first date is pay more attention to their phone than you. If you're sitting face-to-face and all you can see is their forehead and the light from the screen, we wouldn't blame you for judging them harshly.
15. Points of Conversation
It's not just about conversation skills, it's about what's being said too. Just because they're able to bring up lots of things to talk about doesn't mean you'll vibe with them. If they say anything that rubs you the wrong way, it's going to stick with you for the rest of the night.
16. Personal Space
It's important to remember that on a first date, it's crucial that you feel safe and respected. Unspoken boundaries are already in place, and both parties need to keep that in mind. If they make you feel uncomfortable, it's behavior that doesn't deserve a second chance.
17. Table Manners
If they chew with their mouth open or use their hands to pick at their food, they shouldn't be surprised if they receive a few nasty looks from you. Basic table manners can tell you everything you need to know about your date.
18. Bringing Up Their Ex
We know we talked about conversation a few times now, but bringing up their ex deserves a special mention. It's a huge no-no on a first date, and it instantly tells you that no, they're still not over them.
19. How They Say Goodbye
Are they pushy or kind with their goodbye? Just like how the greeting matters, how your date sees you off matters too. If they show disinterest in seeing you again or make you feel unsettled when leaving, it tells you exactly whether or not you should invest your time in them.
20. The Follow-Up
Everyone's always left wondering how their date is feeling after the day is over. So if you receive no response or messages within the next little while, it's clear their heart might be somewhere else. You're too old to be playing games at this point, and we know you don't appreciate being left on read.
