Good Parents Already Know
Every parent thinks their child is an angel and can do no wrong. Some parents are trying to fix their own past mistakes through their children. Here are some harsh truths that most parents need to hear.
1. Not Your Property
Kids are individuals with their own thoughts, dreams, and emotions. It’s not helpful to treat them as property or employees. Doing so erodes their self-esteem, and your relationship with them becomes bitter.
2. Giving Autonomy
Children are growing and learning to make decisions all the time. The more we try to control them, the more they'll rebel or lose their confidence. Relaxing control doesn't mean we don't care; it means we trust them to be responsible.
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3. Living Vicariously
Your child's successes don't have to be what you failed to achieve. Don't force them into a dream that imprisons them. Give them a life that's important to them, not just something to fix you.
4. Too Much Judgement
Constant criticism teaches your kids fear rather than honesty, which can lead to a great number of issues later on. When they feel condemned, they shut down. To gain trust, you must make a safe place where they know they’ll be heard, not lectured.
5. Your Responsibility
Children learn good behavior at home. Teachers, tutors, babysitters, or even your own parents are not the ones responsible for raising your child: you are. They model their values on how you behave toward them, toward others, and based on what you do and how you act around the house, not from classroom instruction.
6. Special Needs Are Okay
Just because your child is a slow learner or has special needs doesn’t mean you did something wrong or are a bad parent. All children are wired differently, and that's completely normal. A kid who learns at their own pace isn't a mistake, and they need your support, love, and most of all, patience.
7. Their Own Opinions
"It's because I said so" makes kids feel ignored, making them shut down to you. Listening to what they have to say and not agreeing is okay, as long as you do it respectfully and without forcing your opinion on them. Telling them they're wrong teaches them their opinion doesn't count.
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8. Let your kid be a kid
Making your children spend all their free time in lessons robs them of imagination, creativity, and selfhood. Kids need time to wonder, daydream, and play. If we fill their days with activities, especially ones they don’t like at all, life becomes a checklist.
9. Spoiling Them
No matter what background you come from, the world can be a tough place. Giving your children everything they want without a question can make them happy in the moment, but have dire consequences later in their lives. Raise them to be grateful, responsible, not entitled.
10. They Don’t Owe you Grandchildren
This one may sting, but it’s true. Your kids are allowed to make their own life choices, partners, children, and careers. Forcing them to have kids because you want a grandbaby is just selfish. Let them decide what makes them happy.
11. Not a Babysitter
Don't saddle your oldest with your parental responsibilities. They should have a childhood as well. Let them pitch in from time to time, but don't rob them of their childhood freedom.
12. It’s Okay to Apologize
Don't let your ego make your kids fear you. Saying "I'm sorry" teaches humility and responsibility. Kids learn more from watching you admit your mistakes than pretending you're perfect; it builds mutual respect.
13. Mistakes Are Okay
Turning mistakes into lessons and not lectures and punishments is a very important thing. Mistakes are how children learn. If every mistake is met with anger, they'll be afraid to try and won’t learn how to do things the right way without fear of failing or being punished.
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14. Their Feelings Matter
Just because you’ve already been through something doesn’t mean your child's feelings aren’t real. Telling them to “get over it” only teaches them to hide pain. Every stage of life feels like a big deal when you’re living it.
15. Parents Make Mistakes Too
If you are wrong or make a mistake, it's healthier to fess up than to double down to protect your ego. Nobody is right all the time. Saying "I was wrong" is not a sign of weakness, and it teaches your kids to own up to their mistakes as well.
16. Parenting Doesn’t Stop
Just because your child turned 18 does not mean that you aren’t their parent anymore. They still need guidance, support, and love, just in a different way now. Parenting is a forever relationship, not an hourly wage.
17. Don’t Yell
Accidents aren’t on purpose, and it doesn’t matter if it was your favorite thing they broke either. Things are replaceable; trust is not. Screaming at them for an accident will teach fear, not responsibility.
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18. Acting Their Age
Don't tell your kids to act their age and then expect them to act like an adult. If they are 5, they are going to act like they are 5. Kids can be messy, inquisitive, and noisy at times, and it's unreasonable to expect a child to behave as an adult.
19. The Forbidden Fruit
Saying "don't" with no explanation will just make your child want to do the thing more. Come up with clever, educational ways to explain why some things are bad. Rules without reason only create little rebels.
20. Unconditional Love
Love earns their trust, while constant lectures just earn lies and create distance. Unconditional love helps your children become confident, kind adults. Judgment and constant criticism close that door.
