You’ve Never Done This Before, Have You?
In today’s day and age, it almost seems impossible that an adult has no dating experience. There are apps, plenty of people in bars and clubs, and even work flirts—but still, the well can run dry. While there’s nothing wrong with that, hopping into a commitment with inexperienced men comes with its own challenges, and its own signs that they’re probably not as practiced as they say. Let’s explore a few common indicators that they may need a little encouragement.
1. He Never Talks About His Crush
Not everyone spills the beans about their latest attraction, but they don’t stay completely silent either. If he never mentions anything about those he’s interested in—including you—it could stem from a more deep-rooted fear that he’ll say something out of turn.
2. He Doesn’t Frequent Common Places
People looking for dates frequent the same spots: sports bars, clubs, and even speed dating events draw big enough crowds to even the odds. However, if he spends most of his time at home, it could signal an unwillingness to dip a toe in unfamiliar waters.
3. There’s No Flirtation
We all like to think that we’re experts at flirting, but the majority of us aren’t as well-versed as we think! That being said, there’s a difference between awkwardness and a complete lack of flirting. If he doesn’t ask for your number or pick up on flirting cues, it’s probably because he’s inexperienced.
4. He’s Nervous Around You
Everyone gets nervous around their crush, but inexperienced guys get particularly wary. He might not make eye contact. He might take you on group dates to avoid one-on-one time. Even if he wants to take things to the next level, his innocence might deter him; a lot of guys already worry they’ll say or do the wrong thing, let alone when they haven’t had a girlfriend before!
5. Zero Communication
Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. It’s not always easy to nurture honest discussion, and some couples take years before they master it—but inexperienced men haven’t had any true exposure to it. They probably won’t open up about their feelings or share what’s bothering them, which could easily cause more problems down the road.
6. He’s Easily Jealous
When you’re new to a relationship, any little thing can cause sparks in your belly. Are they a little too close to their friend? Is that person flirting with them? Are they going to leave you? As frustrating as it can be for both parties, inexperience often causes jealousy.
7. He Comes On a Little Too Strong
Just about anyone can come on too strong, but it happens more often with inexperienced guys. In an effort to hold onto something new, they might give one too many compliments. They might talk about the future too soon. In other cases, they could aggressively flirt, even if they don’t mean to.
8. He’s Cagey About His History
As we mentioned, it’s almost impossible to envision an adult who’s never had a relationship—said adults are aware of it, too. There’s a huge stigma around inexperienced people, and they likely won’t reveal their bare history.
9. Obvious Cues Get Ignored
Women have griped about this for a long time—guys just can’t seem to pick up our cues! While that’s a valid concern, inexperienced men are even worse off. Remember: they haven’t had much practice, so what’s obvious to you could fly right over their heads. On the other hand, they might not want to overstep, remaining extra cautious lest they push you away.
10. He Doesn’t Plan Dates
Relationships are a give and take; no one wants to be the only one putting in the effort, and that includes planning. Inexperienced guys don’t always know the ins and outs of dating, so he might not put in the same effort at first.
11. Unwillingness to Compromise
An unwillingness to compromise doesn’t just plague inexperienced guys. It’s a common problem among jaded people or those who’ve been single for too long. It’s a tough shell to crack, and new daters aren’t accustomed to the adjustment.
12. He Lives Like a Bachelor
Does his apartment look more like a dorm room? You’re likely dealing with someone who hasn’t had a girlfriend in a while (if ever). Guys get used to their lives, just like anyone else, and their surroundings reveal whether or not they’ve let someone in before.
13. No Real Expectations
Everyone has expectations for their relationships, but inexperienced guys approach them differently. They’re either too clingy right out of the gate or they’re far too detached. Either way, it’s a problem.
14. The First Date is Awkward
First dates are always a little awkward. Strangely enough, that’s part of their charm! However, when someone’s never had one before, they could easily commit “first date sins.” Be on the lookout for overly personal questions, no communication, or trauma-dumping.
15. He Shuts Down in Arguments
Real relationships have arguments—there’s no way around it. The important thing is that you communicate and overcome them together. But when you’re inexperienced, arguments might trigger you to shut down instead.
16. He’s Way Too Clingy
The unfortunate truth is that naivety can cause clinginess. Without any real partnerships under their belts, people get scared over the possibility of a breakup. They also get overwhelmed with everything they’re “supposed” to do.
17. Not Initiating Physical Contact
An exciting part of relationships is the bedroom. The thing is, it’s also one of the scariest. You bare yourself, quite literally, to someone new, and engage in a highly intimate act. So, even if he wants to move forward, he might hesitate to take that step.
18. Too Eager to Please
If you’ve never been in a relationship, it’s easy to get swept away in the so-called rules. Men should pay for dinner. Men should lay their coats over puddles. They should talk, they should have bedroom prowess, they should remember every detail—the list goes on. When you’re inexperienced, you might invest in all those strategies at once!
19. He’s Unsure What He Wants
This guy wants a real relationship. Actually, maybe he wants a friend. No, he wants a friend who’s also his partner. Wait, what’s going on? Inexperienced guys don’t always know what they want, and their indecisiveness can tank a budding romance.
20. He’s Overly Laid Back
We’ve talked about people who are eager to please, but some guys maintain a chill attitude to prove their flexibility. The trouble with that is they could easily come across as aloof; partners don’t always know whether they’re laid back or just don’t care.
