What Still Deserves a Place
After a breakup, it's normal to feel like you need to get rid of everything. Every item connected to your past partner that still remains close by, whether it's their perfume or clothes, will only make you feel miserable, after all. But when emotions are high, we tend to think irrationally—only to regret it later on. As much as it hurts now, a split doesn't mean you have to burn all those memories away. Here's what you should throw out, and what you should keep.
1. Throw Away Old Love Notes
There might come a day when you'll look back on those handwritten love notes and feel a pang of nostalgia or even happiness, bitter as it might be. However, if you know they'll only pull your attention back to what has already ended, there's no point in keeping an entire box of romantic letters. Sometimes, the best thing to do is toss them out.
2. Get Rid of Expired Tickets
Those old concert stubs and movie tickets might remind you exactly where you went together, but like love notes, they can accumulate and later on bring up bad memories. If they don't represent an experience you'd want to remember outside of your relationship, there's little reason to keep the clutter.
3. Toss Their Forgotten Toiletries
That half-used bottle of shampoo or old toothbrush your ex left behind? Toss them. Having them there in plain sight will only remind you of your relationship together, and that's not going to help you move on. Return anything valuable if necessary, but everything else should go straight into the bin.
4. Take Out Framed Couple Photos
Photos of the two of you that are still on display can make it harder to start anew. So, do yourself a favor and replace those prints with pictures of family, friends, or trips you took by yourself. After all, you probably wouldn't want your guests to ask awkward questions that bring up bad feelings.
Kristyna Squared.one on Unsplash
5. Toss Gifts That Bring Back Unhappy Memories
While not every gift from an ex needs to disappear (more on that later), you should still get rid of the ones that now make you unhappy. If looking at it feels unpleasant, why keep them? Donate usable items when you can, then throw out what you no longer want.
6. Get Rid of Matching Couple Items
Matching mugs, shirts, phone cases, bracelets, you name it—they can all feel out of place now that the relationship is over. Unless you sincerely like your half on its own, you probably won't miss it once it's gone, so get rid of them.
7. Donate the Clothing They Left Behind
That oversized hoodie or the collection of t-shirts that ended up in your closet probably won't bring you much comfort now that the relationship is over. If you both ended on good terms, you can offer to return them, but you're also within your rights to donate them if you'd rather avoid further contact. Either way, you'll end up with a closet that feels more like yours again.
8. Cologne and Perfume They Wore
Scent is closely tied to memory, so a bottle that once belonged to your ex will only bring back old feelings the moment you catch a whiff of it. Unless it's an extremely expensive piece you just can't bring yourself to rid of, it's better to give it away or toss it altogether.
9. Delete Old Voicemails and Screenshots
Remember those old voicemails they'd left? Well, that's exactly the thing—you don't want to remember them. Coming across those voice notes or screenshots of a sweet message can reopen a can of worms you've worked hard to forget, so go ahead and delete them.
10. Rip Up Your Couples Bucket List
Now that you're no longer together, you won't follow through on all the things you once planned out. Since the list no longer serves a purpose, there's no reason to keep it around. Rip it up (it'll feel cathartic!) and make a new list that includes only your own interests.
Of course, just because you've broken up with your ex doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything. Plenty of things can remain useful, regardless of the ending. Here are 10 things that are okay to keep:
1. Keep Expensive Gifts You Actually Use
Whether it's a designer handbag or an expensive laptop, those gifts don't suddenly become worthless once the relationship comes to an end. If you enjoy the item and can use it without feeling uncomfortable, keep it! Breakups don't require you to replace perfectly good belongings just to prove you've moved on.
2. Keep Photos from Important Life Events
We know—framed couple photos you might want to get rid of, but if your ex appears in group shots of happier memories, you don't have to rip those up. After all, throwing out every picture containing them could mean losing records of meaningful experiences that include your friends and family as well.
3. Keep Souvenirs from Trips
As much as it might feel like you need to toss out every item or souvenir you bought together, mementos from your vacations can represent the experiences you had firsthand, regardless of who you shared them with. If you still have good memories, leave the keepsakes be.
4. Keep Furniture You Chose Together and Still Use
Bought a couch together? If it's yours now that they've moved out, you don't have to sell it—replacing large pieces is expensive, after all! Unless seeing it brings up unhappy thoughts, try rearranging the room or adding new pillows to make the piece feel more like yours.
Phillip Goldsberry on Unsplash
5. Keep Books You Enjoyed
Like a book they gifted you? If you're a real bookworm and you quite like the read, don't stress yourself over tossing the copy. The authors or genres you discovered through the recommendation can be meaningful to you independently, so there's no need to abandon those interests simply because your ex is gone from your life.
Alexandra Krainyukhova on Pexels
6. Keep Valuable Jewelry
Similar to expensive pieces, if your ex gifted you jewelry that you still like wearing, go ahead and keep it. You could always sell it later if you change your mind. The most important thing is to pay attention to how keeping it affects you.
Nataliya Melnychuk on Unsplash
7. Keep Items Connected to Shared Hobbies
Perhaps your relationship introduced you to hiking or photography, and because of that, you bought new gear. Again, unless seeing these supplies rouses unpleasant memories, you're allowed to continue enjoying something you discovered through another person, even if that person is your ex.
8. Keepsakes from Mutual Friends
Received gifts as a pair? Whether it's a birthday card signed by your friend group or something handmade, they can remain meaningful even after the relationship has ended. Holding on to these items honors the people who gave them to you—they don't need to be connected to your ex.
9. Keep the Practical Stuff
Other than the household stuff that remains, any other major purchases you bought together can stay, too; you shouldn't feel obligated to dispose of something you split the costs of. That new TV? Hey, if your ex is fine with you keeping it, why should you say no?
10. Keep Anything That Feels Like Yours
Over time, even the items you shared with your ex can slowly lose their meaning. If they fit comfortably into your present life without making you dwell on your past relationship, keeping them can be just as healthy as tossing them out.
