What Kind of Parent Are You?
Parenting is no easy task, but it's shocking how mad some people are at it. From a bit of neglect to straight-up screaming matches, it's clear not everyone should be a mom or dad. In the same vein, there are some people who have it broken down into a science and are molding fantastic young people. So with that in mind, here are 10 signs indicating whether someone is a horrible or fantastic parent.
1. Ignore the Issues
A bad parent who denies problems may ignore the issues rather than try to face and fix them, leaving their child to fend for themselves. The denial of problems can make a child feel unseen, unheard, and bewildered. As time goes on, it corrodes trust, and the emotional health never quite heals.
2. Self Awareness
A bad parent lacks self-awareness and cannot see the fault in themselves. Rather than accepting that they are flawed human beings, they instead claim to be the perfect parent. Since they can’t own their mistakes, their children are often blamed for all shortcomings.
3. Never Takes Accountability
Bad parents never admit when they're wrong. When they do apologize, it's insincere and filled with excuses instead of taking responsibility. They use the "I'm the adult, you're the child" mentality to dismiss their child's point of view.
4. Public Outbursts
Shouting at or embarrassing a child in public is another sign of a bad parent. This can also be a way to show disrespect or lack of control towards a child. Yelling at your child in public can embarrass them and harm their self-esteem. It also teaches a child to be scared or ashamed instead of being properly guided or understood.
5. Lack of Control
A bad parent overlooks their child's misbehavior and labels it as "hyperactive" instead of taking action. This inaction leaves the child without understanding boundaries or self-control. It can lead to resentment from other kids and families, especially when a child is screaming at an event and the parent refuses to discipline them.
6. No Back Talk
A bad parent will not even let their child offer an explanation or defense. If the child answers calmly, they will be accused of “talking back.” The child is made to feel powerless and unable to speak up. The parent doesn't clear up a misunderstanding; instead, they teach the child that they have no voice.
7. Fear Tactics
A bad parent coddles a child through fear and intimidation. To become well-adjusted and mentally healthy, a child should never have to parent out of fear. Punishment is an option that can be doled out through patience and guidance without using fear tactics.
8. One Way Street
A bad parent feels that their child should respect them unconditionally. They fail to realize that trust and respect have to be earned and that they should set an example. They will get only resentment in return and an unhappy, unhealthy relationship with their child.
9. Narcissistic
A narcissistic parent puts their own needs and ego above their child's well-being. They may manipulate, control, or invalidate their child's feelings to maintain a sense of superiority. This can leave children feeling unseen, unworthy, and emotionally stunted.
10. Never Around
An absent parent is a lousy parent. They are not around to offer guidance, support, or a sense of security. Children with such parents may feel neglected, lonely, and emotionally unstable. A lack of presence can impede a child's ability to form trusting and healthy relationships.
Now that we’ve talked about traits of bad parents, here are 10 signs someone is a good parent.
1. Addressing Issues
A good parent never avoids a problem. If there's an issue, they take the time to discuss and work it through. They're there to guide their child, not let them flounder alone. By tackling difficulties head-on, they instill a sense of responsibility. It also encourages critical thinking and emotional development.
2. Mutual Respect
Respect isn’t a one-way street, and the best parents know that! When a child is respected, he is more likely to trust his parent and to have open, honest communication, which is the basis for a good relationship. When a child is shown respect and learns to respect in return, he has a good guide for how to treat other people with kindness and responsibility.
3. Treat Them Kindly
An involved parent listens to their child attentively. They show that they are interested in the child's thoughts and feelings and take an interest in the child as a person. They speak with their child in a supportive way, model respectful and empathic communication, and teach the child to value respectful, close relationships.
4. Independence
A good parent knows when to let their children spread their wings and make decisions. They don't over-control or engage in "helicopter" parenting, even if their child is still quite young or in university. By allowing their children to explore and learn through experience, they become self-sufficient and confident.
5. Putting the Child First
These parents understand the importance of putting their child's needs and well-being before their own wants. They make sacrifices and choices that benefit the child's growth, safety, and happiness. This selflessness creates trust, security, and a strong parent-child bond.
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6. Talk it Out
It’s important to speak to one’s child at their level of age and understanding. This is why good parents communicate openly and directly with their child in a manner that is clear and at a pace that allows the child to feel listened to and informed. This is an act of love that builds trust, understanding, and confidence in a child to face the world.
7. Taking Responsibility
A good parent is honest about their mistakes and takes responsibility for them. This honesty helps the child model accountability and humility. It also creates a trusting environment where children can learn from their own mistakes.
8. Spending Quality Time
A good parent prefers quality time over expensive gifts or fancy outings. From building sandcastles to cooking dinner, they treasure simple moments with their children. These shared experiences form precious memories and bonds.
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9. Plenty of Praise
An effective parent also knows how to praise their children for their hard work and achievements. They make them feel confident and comfortable about themselves. So many times we see parents criticizing, but the best ones know to focus on the positives.
10. A Hint of Humor
An excellent parent never lets problems go by without a bit of laughter. They know the value of humor for relieving stress and providing perspective. Good parents are skilled at setting the right tone and defusing difficulties with humor, without belittling anyone's feelings.
