Why This Can Feel So Confusing
Trying to tell the difference between someone who likes you and someone who's just playing games with you can be extremely difficult. Confusing texts, flirtatious messages, and barely thought out attempts can make it seem like someone likes you when they really don't. This list will outline ways to tell if someone is really interested in you or not.
1. His Effort Peaks Only When It’s Convenient
He comes through when it’s easy for him and backs out when things start to require flexibility. You find yourself changing your schedule for him but he’s “never” doing the same. Until one day, you start to feel more like a backup plan than his priority.
2. Compliments Stay on the Surface
He’ll tell you that you look good in your shirt or that you’re a really fun person to be around, but he never ventures beyond that. There will never be any praise about your character, morals, or anything that makes you, you. Sure, it can be nice hearing that you’re hot or hilarious, but it gets old when the compliment spree doesn’t go any deeper.
3. Conversations Don’t Really Go Anywhere
You guys talk all the time but you never actually talk about anything. He flirts and keeps you entertained on the surface to avoid having deep or vulnerable conversations. When you do bring up something serious he immediately deflects.
4. Plans Are Always Vague
He loves saying “we should hang out” but avoids making concrete plans. Nothing is definite unless you specifically ask. He keeps things “open-ended” so he can back out last-minute if he wants to, which slowly sucks the enthusiasm out of you.
5. He Avoids Talking About the Future
Try asking him about what you’ll do next month or next year and watch him squirm. He will only pay attention to things happening now and avoid discussing anything in the future. He wants all of your attention, but not all of your time.
6. You Haven’t Met Anyone Important to Him
He will never introduce you to the people that matter to him, whether they’re friends, family, or coworkers. He keeps you floating through each individual aspect of his life. Usually because he’s emotionally checked out, not because he’s protective of his privacy.
7. He Mirrors You a Little Too Perfectly
During the beginning it seems like you two have endless things in common. The more you get to know him you realize he only agrees with your opinions and shows interest in your hobbies. It can be attractive when he mimics your thoughts, but it’s boring when there is no substance behind it.
8. Apologies Feel Rushed
When he wrongs you he’ll apologize just enough to make you forgive him. There will be no effort to not repeat his mistakes later on. You may even feel as if he apologizes just so you don’t press further.
9. Affection Is Inconsistent
Some days he’s affectionate and others he ignores you for no reason. He likes to play with your emotions by giving you the cold shoulder when he knows you want attention. It makes you question his actions rather than feel safe with them.
10. Your Gut Keeps Raising Red Flags
You try telling yourself that it’s fine and that he means well, but your gut is telling you otherwise. Your gut hasn’t been lying to you for no reason. If something feels off, especially for a longer period of time, it usually means it is.
Relationships are about loss of control. Fake interest wants you on a string. Real interest wants you in his heart.
1. He Shows Up Even When It’s Inconvenient
Not only does he make time for you, he doesn’t make excuses when he does. If he says he’ll come over and watch a movie he will show up whether he’s tired or busy. You learn that you can count on him through thick and thin.
2. He Notices the Small Things
How you take your coffee or that story you told him months ago. He remembers the small things about you because he cares. You feel appreciated without him even trying.
3. Conversations Feel Effortless and Deep
You can talk about nothing and laugh for hours. You can also cry and talk about your problems and he won’t try and fix everything. He doesn’t avoid serious conversations and feels comfortable around you when things are deep. Hours feel like minutes when you’re with him.
4. Plans Include You Naturally
Any ideas he has for the future include you. When talking about tomorrow or next week, his voice raises an octave when he mentions that he’ll be spending it with you. It doesn’t feel forced because you know deep down that you’re a permanent part of his life.
5. He Introduces You to His People
His friends, family, you even meet his coworkers. He is overjoyed to bring you into his life and see you mesh with everyone he loves. He wants you around when it matters.
6. He Listens Without Trying to Fix Everything
You can vent about your problems and he won’t try to “solve” them. He understands when to listen and when you just need a friend to talk to. You feel emotionally safe around him.
7. He Takes Accountability
He doesn’t make excuses if he messes up. More importantly, he won’t repeat the same mistake twice. He means what he says and says what he means.
8. Affection Feels Steady
Even on the days you feel unattractive or you’re just doing boring errands he is still kind to you. You don’t feel anxious with him around, you feel safe. You grow closer because you know you can be yourself around him.
9. He Respects Your Independence
His love allows you to grow as a person. There will be no jealousy if you spend a night with your friends. He loves you so much that he wants you to be the best, happiest version of yourself.
10. You Feel Calm More Than Confused
You don’t have to question your interactions with him. You can just…be with him. You no longer feel anxious about trying to decode his actions because you feel calm in his presence.
