Have You Been Excluded From Parent Group Chat?
Parents have to make friends with other parents if they want to set up playdates or build a social group. We're often thrown into these relationships, and sometimes it leads to strong friendships. Other times, it becomes clear that other parents want nothing to do with us. Here are 20 signs that other parents are avoiding you.
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1. Lack of Eye Contact
If a parent doesn't want to speak to you, then they will avoid eye contact at all costs. This is a deliberate action that suggests they're uncomfortable. If this happens at school pickup or soccer practice, then it's clear that this lack of acknowledgement is actually avoidance.
2. Surface-Level Conversation
If you're only having quick and meaningless conversations with other parents, it can mean that they aren't interested in getting to know you better. They might simply ask if you've had a busy week or comment on the weather.
3. They Are Always Busy
Trying to set up a playdate can be a frustrating experience. It's a bad sign if the other parent is always busy. This could mean that they are pushing you aside and have no interest in spending time with you outside of seeing you at school pickup. When the excuses pile up, the other parent is most likely avoiding you.
4. Closed-Off Body Language
If the other parents have their arms crossed, keep their smiling to a minimum, or step back during conversations, they are giving you nonverbal clues that show their disinterest. Essentially, it means that they are not eager to engage with you, even if your kids are best friends.
5. Exclusion from Group Chats
Parent group chats are the lifeblood of social engagement. It's where plans are made and connections are formed. If you learn of a group chat that you were not invited to join, take the hint and understand that these parents seek to avoid you.
6. They Sit Far Away
It's a subtle avoidance tactic if a parent that you're trying to become friends with always sits far away from you. If this is the case after a few school concerts and birthday parties, you need to accept that they prefer to sit with other people with whom they are more comfortable.
7. Your Child Isn't Invited to Playdates
It can hurt when your child isn't invited to playdates. Unfortunately, this means that the parents also don't want to spend time with you outside of school events.
8. Invitations Stop Coming
You may have once been invited to birthday parties, playdates, or group outings, but then the invitations stop coming. A pattern of being left out signals avoidance, especially when you're aware that the events are happening.
9. Rushed Tone
A classic avoidance tactic is to wrap up conversations quickly. If you notice another parent looking at the time, checking their phone, or glancing away, they are not interested in having an extended interaction with you. Sure, some parents are busy, but if this repeated behavior occurs, it reveals that they want to avoid you.
10. They Don't Respond to Messages Promptly
When your messages and emails to a parent go unanswered for days or weeks, it can suggest that they are uninterested in communicating with you. Some people are discourteous communicators, but consistent unresponsiveness only means one thing. Avoidance.
11. They Don't Include You in Inside Jokes
When other parents reference inside jokes that you are unaware of in your presence, it can make you feel excluded. Furthermore, if you aren't looped into the joke or story, it shows an intent not to include you going forward.
12. They Ignore You in Public
It's often deliberate if a parent doesn't acknowledge you at a store, playground, or neighborhood event. A friendly wave doesn't take much effort, so they choose to ignore you in public in the hope that you won't approach them.
13. They Redirect Their Kids
Avoidance can sometimes be communicated through children. If a parent steers their kid away from your kid at a park or event, it's their way of telling their kid to play somewhere that's not close to you. Rarely does this reflect the kid's preference.
14. Group Huddles
If parents form small groups or speak quietly among themselves, it's a sign that they want to be separate from you. While not all whispering is mean or malicious, it does sideline the other parents who are not included.
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15. Interactions Are Transactional
A transactional conversation happens out of necessity. These types of conversations also make it tough to build a relationship, and could mean that the parent isn't looking to develop a deeper bond with you.
16. They Leave Social Events Quickly
Parents who always arrive late or leave early are possibly trying to minimize social interactions. Granted, this can sometimes be due to schedules, but a pattern of this behavior reveals some level of avoidance.
17. Carpool Avoidance
Carpooling is a common activity among parents. If one parent never offers or always declines the offer, it speaks to them not wanting to spend extended time with you or your kids.
18. They Provide Minimal Answers
Short, clipped answers without any follow-up questions from a parent mean they are disinterested in building a rapport with you.
19. They Only Engage When Others Are Present
Some parents will avoid one-on-one interactions with you, but still engage in a group setting. This tells you that they need a buffer.
20. Exclusion from Volunteer Opportunities
Every parent knows they will be asked to volunteer for several things. If you're overlooked, it suggests an intentional effort to exclude you and limit your involvement.
