A Vow Renewal Should Be an Intimate Affair
Renewing your wedding vows with your partner can be a sweet and heartfelt experience while also recharging a marriage. You want it to be special and memorable, and not just a rehash of your wedding. Here are 10 ways to throw a lovely vow renewal and 10 mistakes to avoid.
1. Choose a Meaningful Location
Choose a location that represents something meaningful to you and your partner. It might be where you honeymooned, or a backyard that has been the setting for many special moments. Vow renewals are about reflection and celebrating the life you've built together.
Hoi An Photographer on Unsplash
2. Write Your Own Vows
A vow renewal ceremony is your chance to share your feelings about your partner and speak from experience. Reflect on the years you've spent together and all the memories you've made. Don't be scared to include some of the challenges you've overcome as a couple.
Photography Maghradze PH on Pexels
3. Keep It Intimate
Weddings are about opulence and grandeur, but a vow renewal should be about connection and intimacy. Invite only a small number of close family and friends, and focus on each other and not the logistics of a big event.
4. Involve Your Family
If you have children or grandchildren, it's fun to include them in the ceremony. They can march down the aisle, give a speech, or one can even officiate. The purpose of including your family is to reinforce the legacy of love you've made.
5. Choose Meaningful Music
Make a playlist for your vow renewal ceremony and party, and make sure to include songs that mark meaningful moments in your relationship. Include the song you first danced to, bopped along to on a road trip, and some that make you feel nostalgic.
6. Simplify the Attire
A vow renewal doesn't require a wedding gown or expensive tux rentals. Dress in semi-formal wear that feels authentic to who you are now. We recommend going for elegant but comfortable.
7. Host a Small Reception
Once the vow ceremony is complete, gather for a fun yet relaxed reception. It can be a candlelit dinner with a champagne toast, or a lovely brunch celebration. You don't need a fancy party, just friends, family, and great conversation.
8. Include Symbolic Touches
Add some rituals that symbolize your commitment to your marriage. Maybe it's lighting a unity candle, exchanging new rings, or planting a tree. Symbolic gestures will make the meaningful day even more special.
9. Hire a Photographer
Even though it's not a wedding, you still want to hire a photographer to capture the event. Explain to your photographer the emotional tone you're going for, whether it's candid, natural, or posed family photos.
10. Celebrate the Then and Now
The best vow renewals blend nostalgia with your current marriage and life. Display old wedding photos, share a slideshow of your adventures and moments, and fill the day with stories of your love. Just make sure you don't get too nostalgic when the present and future are also worth celebrating.
1. Treating It Like a Second Wedding
A vow renewal isn't a redo of your wedding. The goal is to reflect on your marriage and life, while avoiding the pressure to simply replicate your wedding. You don't have to follow traditional wedding protocols, so skip the bridal party and bouquet toss.
2. Skipping the Personal Touches
Without personalization, a vow renewal will be meaningless and generic. Don't copy a wedding or vow renewal template. Make the day your own and ensure that it reflects your story. Write custom vows, choose a location that means something to you, and include every small detail you can think of.
3. Overcomplicating the Guest List
You don't need to invite every work friend to your vow renewal, and third cousins can stay home unless you're close to them. Your guest list should mainly include those who have supported you through your marriage.
Hoi An Photographer on Unsplash
4. Ignoring the Budget
Even small vow renewals can become pricy events without proper budgeting and planning. Don't overspend on attire or catering. Instead, make a budget and stick to it, and save money by focusing on details that can enhance the day.
5. Forgetting to Communicate the Purpose
Your guests should feel that they are attending a vow renewal and not a wedding. Make this clear in the invitation and all communications to set the expectation for your event. Vow renewals often don't require a gift, and there shouldn't be a formal registry.
6. Neglecting to Include Family
Don't exclude your children or important family members, as this will make your vow renewal feel incomplete. This milestone reflects not only your marriage but the family you've built over the years.
7. Choosing a Generic Venue
You don't need an expensive venue for your vow renewal. You just need a place that has special meaning to you and your partner. Forego the generic banquet halls and go somewhere you have a connection to.
8. Not Hiring Professional Help
Vow renewals are smaller in scale and scope than a wedding, but that doesn't mean you don't need help in planning and executing it. Hiring a day-of coordinator, a photographer, and an officiant can relieve your stress and ensure that you get to enjoy the day.
9. Forgetting to Capture the Moments
Some vow renewals are so low-key that they skip photography and video altogether, only to regret it later. This is still a once-in-a-lifetime moment that celebrates your love and union. Hire a professional photographer or enlist a talented friend to capture the day as it happens.
10. Losing Sight of the Meaning
Enjoy your vow renewal and all it symbolizes without getting lost in the logistics and whether everyone is having a good time. This isn't about flowers and decorations. It's about a love that's endured for years, or even decades.
