Be The Grandparent They Remember
You might think you're doing fine as a grandparent, but something feels off. The connection isn’t as strong, the conversations don’t flow, and the visits feel shorter than they used to. Well, most of the time, it’s not about who you are—it’s the small things you do. This list explores what’s quietly pushing your grandkids away and how to shift that dynamic. Let’s begin with the everyday behaviors that signal you’re the “lame” grandparent kids try to avoid.
1. You Still Think Facebook Is Relevant
If you believe Facebook is still the center of the internet, your grandkids have already moved on. They live on platforms you have never opened. Staying stuck in the past makes you invisible in their digital world.
2. You Always Gift Socks Or Stationery
When you hand over socks or pens, it signals that you did not consider what they actually enjoy. Generic gifts feel lazy. Choosing something tied to their personality shows that you have paid attention and that you have a desire to connect.
3. You Complain Instead Of Connecting
If your first reaction is to criticize the volume, the fashion, or the music, you are not engaging with your grandkids. Complaints build distance. Connection begins when you stop resisting and start showing genuine interest.
4. You Mock Their Favorite Celebrities
Rolling your eyes at their favorite singer, actor, or streamer might feel harmless, but to your grandkids, it cuts deep. Their idols are part of their identity. Mocking them is almost like mocking your grandkids. So, try to understand why they idolize a celeb instead of opposing.
5. You Refuse To Learn Their Slang
Ignoring words like “slay,” “sus,” or “no cap” does not protect your dignity—it blocks your relevance. And in reality, Gen Z slang is not nonsense. It works as a short form or explanation of elaborate situations or feelings. Refusing to learn it keeps you outside their circle.
6. You Only Talk About Your Health Issues
Mentioning your latest prescription or joint pain every time you speak does not build closeness. It turns conversations into medical briefings. They want stories, so share something that makes them curious, not concerned.
7. You Never Ask For Their Opinion
When you make plans without asking what they want, you send a message: their voice does not matter. Whether it is family dinners or weekend outings, ignoring their input makes you feel dismissive and distant.
8. You Always Keep Calling
Phone calls may feel natural to you, but to your grandkids, they can feel intrusive or exhausting. They live in quick texts, memes, and voice notes. If every interaction starts with a ringing phone, you risk becoming the person they avoid picking up for.
Centre for Ageing Better on Pexels
9. You Still Hand Out Boring Life Lectures
Turning every chat into a lesson about “back in my day” or how they should live their life makes visits feel like school, not family time. Grandkids tune out fast when every conversation is more lecture than laughter.
10. You Still Dress Them in Matching Outfits
Forcing or even asking your grandkids to wear identical sweaters or cheesy T-shirts may feel cute to you, but to them it screams cringe. What seems like a harmless tradition can make them roll their eyes and beg you not to post those photos anywhere.
Now that you know what’s not working, here’s how to actually show up.
1. Learn How To Fix Things
Kids love a grandparent who can repair a squeaky bike, stitch a loose button, or troubleshoot a gadget. It’s not about being a handyman—it’s about being useful in ways that feel magical to them. Practical skills become unforgettable memories when shared side by side.
2. Use Trendy Apps And Build An Impressive Profile
Download the platforms your grandkids actually use—TikTok, BeReal, or the latest chat app—and set up a profile that feels authentic but current. Post casually, follow their updates, and let them teach you a feature or two. Suddenly, you’re part of their world.
3. Watch A Show They Love
Just pick one series, episode, or even a short clip your grandkids rave about. Watch it, show genuine curiosity, and this will give you amazing conversation starters. Sharing laughs or opinions over that content can turn ordinary screen time into a moment to associate with them.
4. Let Them Pick The Music During Visits
It can be lo-fi beats or chaotic remixes, but letting them set the tone turns background noise into shared atmosphere. You don’t need to hum along or even try to understand the lyrics, just listen to the new sounds with them.
5. Ask What They Wish Adults Understood Better
Start with a direct question and let them shape the answer. Their perspective offers a glimpse into how they deal with expectations and misunderstandings. Listening without interruption gives them space to articulate what often goes unsaid.
6. Compliment Their Style Without Comparing Eras
Focus on the color, the fit, the confidence, and not on how it differs from your generation. Their fashion choices are not a rebellion or a phase. They are expressions of identity. And your words can either echo support or silence it.
7. Play Their Mobile Game—Even If You Lose
Losing is not the problem. Refusing to play is. Tap into their world by joining the game they play when they are bored or competitive. You do not need to win. You just need to be present while they are in their element.
8. Ask Their Opinion While Shopping
Bring your grandkids into the decision. Show them the options and let them weigh in. Your invitation signals that you’re actually interested in this generation, and apart from that, their perspective can lead you to something much better than what you would've thought.
9. Share A Trick They Haven't Learnt Anywhere
Teach them how to shuffle cards like a pro, or whistle loudly with your fingers. It should be something interactive that feels new to your grandkids and is something they can actually show off. Passing down these tricks gives you an important role in their world.
10. Start A Small Ongoing Tradition Together
Create something that’s just yours and theirs—like a secret handshake or a crazy snack meal you always share. Traditions don't need to be big to matter. The point is that it becomes your signature bond, one they’ll always associate with you.
