Thinking About Children?
Just because he's a great boyfriend doesn't mean he'd be a wonderful dad. Unfortunately, sometimes the traits that make someone fun or charming in a relationship don’t translate well to parenthood. From emotional maturity and reliability to how he handles stress and responsibility, here are 10 signs he’s father material and 10 signs he’s really not.
1. He's Patient
Being patient is a necessary part of parenting. If your man stays calm, even in the most stressful or aggravating situations, it will make your life easier and a lot more pleasant than someone who loses it when confronted with small frustrations like waiting in line or being stuck in traffic.
2. He Holds Himself Accountable
When he makes mistakes, he owns up a tries to do better instead of making excuses. Being accountable is a sign that he's going to be a reliable parent.
3. He's Honest
If your man lies to you or to others, what kind of kids do you think he will raise? Part of parenting is ethics, and if you want your kids to grow up with a strong moral compass, your partner's honesty is key.
4. He's Emotionally Available
Kids learn by example, so having a partner who can talk about his feelings is important for your kids' ability to develop emotional intelligence. Empathy is a cornerstone of healthy parenting.
5. He's Good At Communicating
If your partner isn't a great communicator, you'll find yourself pulling your hair out if he becomes your co-parent. Talking through things clearly and kindly is a crucial skill when raising kids together.
6. He's Playful
While it's important to be responsible, you don't want the father of your children to be too serious either. As their father, he's going to be caring for your kids, playing with them, and talking to them, so it's important that he also can be goofy and imaginative sometimes.
7. He's Supportive
A good father sees more than just himself and his own goals. He cheers you on, making you shine brighter when it counts, and taking the load off when you need to focus elsewhere. This is a sign that he can do the same for your kids when the time comes.
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8. He Thinks About The Future
A good dad needs to be able to plan ahead. He's not afraid to talk about the future and make long-term goals, demonstrating commitment, maturity, and the ability to live beyond the here and now.
9. He's Responsible
To be father material, you don't need to be rich, but you need to show that you're practically and financially responsible. This shows that he's so that you can rely on.
10. He's Good With Kids
If your man knows how to talk to kids, make them laugh, and genuinely enjoys interacting with them, it's a sure sign he'll be a good dad. If he likes being around kids and doesn't treat it like a chore, he will be better at sharing the load of childcare.
Now that we've talked about some of the traits of someone who would make a great dad, let's talk about the signs you should forget about him as a potential father for your children.
1. He Can't Handle Stress
Having kids is stressful, and you don't need your partner adding to your anxiety. If he gets easily angered by small inconveniences, imagine how he will deal with a screaming baby or toddler meltdown.
2. He Avoids Responsibility
Constantly blaming others for his mistakes or finding excuses isn't exactly the kind of behaviour of someone you can count on. It's not who you'd want raising your kids.
3. He Doesn't Think Long Term
It's nice to live in the moment, but you also want to see that he's capable of making long-term goals. This shows that he's serious about you, and planning is a necessary part of parenting.
4. He's Not Organized
With someone who's not organized, you'll just have to be reminding him all the time about play dates, plans, and events that you've scheduled months ago. It will only add to your load and feel like you're raising another child.
5. He Doesn't Help With Chores
Think about it: have you ever seen your man clean the house or do domestic labor? This is a basic consideration when it comes to choosing a co-parent, as you don't want to end up having all the housework and childcare on your shoulders.
6. He's Self-Centered
If your man always prioritizes himself over others, this is a huge red flag when it comes to potential fatherhood. Parenting requires selflessness as your kids will take center stage, at least for a while.
7. He Lacks Empathy
Empathy is crucial for dealing with toddler tantrums and kids acting out. Having a partner who lacks emotional intelligence isn't the kind of model your child needs.
8. He Plays The Victim
A good father is strong-willed and sets a good example. Playing the victim signals a lack of integrity and courage, which may not be things you want your kids looking up to.
9. He's Controlling
Controlling behavior, like isolating you from your friends and family or dictating what you think and say, should come as a warning sign. It's a sign of insecurity and will only create an unhealthy family dynamic. Parenting requires flexibility.
10. He's Financially Unstable
Being financially unstable isn't just about money. It's often a sign of a deeper issue, like a lack of responsibility, forethought, and reliability. Money problems can also add a lot of strain to a relationship and limit your child's opportunities in the future.
