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No one likes to think about the end of a relationship, regardless of what kind it is. When you find someone you get along with, there isn’t anything but positive experiences on the horizon. Where will you go next? What memories will you share? How will you help each other become better people?
But not all good things last, and even platonic relationships can reach a breaking point. The thing is, how do you split up with a friend? In some ways, parting ways with a pal is even more devastating than lost romantic love, and not everyone knows how to approach a failing friendship. It’s okay, we have a few tips to help you part ways amicably and not burn any bridges in the process.
How Do You Know It’s Time?
There’s no definitive way to call TOD on a friendship. Sometimes, you can feel a shift in the air. Other times, you might have a falling out with them. It’s hard to call ourselves “lucky” when things fizzle naturally, but some friendships also wither away with the wind, leaving us a little heartbroken but, thankfully, without an awkward conversation due.
That doesn’t always happen, though. If you’re questioning the friendship at all, it’s time to at least have a vulnerable discussion. Think about what changed for you. Do you not enjoy their company as much, or have your values completely changed? Did they say an off-handed joke, or do they constantly disrespect your boundaries?
It’s worth a little self-reflection before pulling the trigger. After all, this change affects you too, and jumping ahead of yourself can leave you both confused and hurt. Not to mention, if it’s something a simple discussion can solve, there’s no point running away without exhausting your options.
Time to Say Goodbye
Once all your ducks are in a row, it’s time to schedule the conversation—the face-to-face conversation. As hard as it may be, it’s important to be direct and mature, and it won’t look that way if you send a few sad face emojis or straight-up ghost them.
Consider your location, too; you can easily pick a more secluded space or opt for a coffee shop. You don’t know how they’ll take it or what they’ll say, and it’s always better to have access to an exit. That’s not to say you should slip out the back door, but it is to say that an open area allows you both to move along.
As you can imagine, what you say plays a big role as well. If you’re upset about something, try not to approach them with animosity. Carefully bring up what’s bothering you and try to stick with “I” statements to avoid placing blame. Even if they are in the wrong, attacking them will only put them on the defensive, and neither of you will walk away with your heads held high.
Is It Okay to Ghost Them?
Ah, the age-old question. At first glance, it’s easy to penalize those who dip without any warning, but you never know what a relationship looks like until you’re in it. We don’t necessarily advocate ghosting, but we do acknowledge that not every friendship looks the same, and sometimes it’s better to walk away than get into a nasty altercation.
On the other hand, if you’re only ghosting to sidestep discomfort, that’s not fair to either one of you. Sure, they might not appreciate your decision. And sure, they might even deflect what you say. But an open conversation eliminates any doubt in your mind that you did the right thing. It also presents them with a chance to correct their behavior, should you decide to keep communication open.
It all depends. Some people change their entire personality or step way over the line, and not everyone thinks that warrants a discussion. How you approach the situation depends on a concrete decision, and it should keep both of you in mind.
Losing a Friend Hurts, And It’s Okay to Admit It
We often reserve our sympathy for romantic breakups, but parting ways with a friend is just as devastating. In some ways, it’s even worse, especially if you’ve known someone for a long time. Don’t let someone tell you that a few tears or a little time in the tub isn’t worth it!
When you end a friendship, you experience the same trauma of a typical breakup: severed emotional connections, grief, and a huge loss to your routine. It’s okay to take some time for yourself afterward. It’s no easier on you than it is on them, and if you do opt for a parting conversation, that emotional weight also takes its toll.
At the end of the day, you’ll know when it’s time to split ways. It won’t be easy, and it will likely cause a lot of heartache, but if it’s the right thing to do, you aren’t a bad person for stepping away. Sometimes, things just weren’t meant to be.
