Santa’s on his way, the cookies are in the oven, and no doorway is safe—that’s right, with Christmas in less than a week, you’re bound to see those fresh little sprigs dangling above every archway: the mistletoe! For some, it's a nightmare come true, but for others, it’s the best way to secure some alone time with their crush. But how do you use it without humiliating yourself?
This age-old tradition has been around for decades, and what started as a cheeky way to show affection soon degenerated into an uncomfortable free-for-all at office parties. Rather than wind up with coal in your stocking this year, we thought we’d break down a few ways you can keep things holly, jolly, and appropriate.
It’s Supposed to Be Fun, Not a Time to Pounce
First and foremost, it doesn’t matter if Margot Robbie herself walks through that door—don’t just loiter beneath the mistletoe. Even hanging around its vicinity can look a little opportunistic, so it’s best to mingle with other guests before someone slinks through. Spontaneous smooches are far more enjoyable than an obviously planned one.
Christmas parties are all prime-time for desserts, coffee, and alcohol. As you can imagine, that trio may taste good, but it doesn’t do any wonders for your breath. If you’re planning on sneaking a kiss, you want your breath to be nice and fresh—there’s no harm in keeping some mints in your pocket, or even holding back on certain dishes for the time being. (A stick of gum never hurt anyone either.)
The most important thing to remember is consent! Yes, it’s technically a “tradition,” but using that to make someone uncomfortable is completely unacceptable. If they say no, don’t push it. Don’t make a “cutesy” pouting face or even think about egging them on. The more you push, the worse it gets, and the worse you look. It’s also completely fine if they offer their cheek instead; a quick peck is a good way to keep things lighthearted!
Your Breath Isn’t the Only Thing That Should Be Fresh
People often confuse mistletoe and holly, and that little hiccup leads to all kinds of blunders! Unlike holly with its distinctive red berries, mistletoe actually has white ones. Holly also comes with spiky leaves, whereas mistletoe boasts a much softer look. It’s an important distinction; real mistletoe looks (and works) much better than the fake stuff.
Carrying around fake mistletoe also isn’t as charming as we once believed. Nowadays, the move is a little tacky, and it’s likelier to earn an eye roll than a successful kiss. Keep the phony stuff at home and wait for your chance under the real thing.
As per tradition, it’s also important to remember to remove a berry every time someone kisses beneath it. Most mistletoe comes with two to six berries per cluster, and once they’re all gone, so are your chances for a kiss! So, unless you plan on sticking a few of them around the house (or spot several in the office), you might want to keep an eye on just how many are left.
You’re Under No Obligation to “Follow Through”
“Tradition” is no reason to make someone uncomfortable. Don’t forget that you’re well within your rights to turn down any potential kiss. Forget about keeping the other person comfortable, too; you don’t need to placate their feelings if they disrespect your boundaries, and an authoritative “no” isn’t out of the question should they keep pushing the matter.
If, on the other hand, you just want to lightly step away, you can always offer your cheek instead. Of course, you can also laugh it off and extend a handshake or a hug, too. A gentle, “No, thank you,” or “Mistletoe makes me uncomfortable” should be more than enough to shut down any attempts, as well—respectful people also respect boundaries.
Many people also opt to just skip past the mistletoe. Unless there’s a giant creep at the Christmas party, people immediately notice when you don’t want to kiss them, but you can take it a step further to reduce confusion. Taking one big hop through the door or blocking your head from the mistletoe usually signals that you want no part in the silly tradition! (And we can’t even blame you.)
Kissing under the mistletoe has been around for a few decades now, but we’ve all moved past the archaic belief that “tradition is tradition.” If you want to smooch someone, there’s no shame in shooting your shot. However, there is shame in forcing the issue, even if you try to do it in an “innocent” way. Not everyone wants to engage in public, either, so the most important thing you can do this season is to respect each other!
