Do You Only Care About Yourself?
If you read the title of this article and immediately felt triggered, you probably already know where you stand. After all, self-absorbed people think they're above the rest and that the world revolves around them, so they don't take criticism well at all. But if you're still curious whether this is you or not, here are 20 signs you might be self-obsessed.
1. You Constantly Steal the Spotlight
A clear sign you're self-obsessed is when you're constantly stealing the spotlight from others. It doesn't matter if it's a celebration about someone else—you will find a way to make it about you. You're also quick to take credit for a team project, even if everyone else contributed equally.
2. You Make Every Conversation About Yourself
More than just stealing the spotlight, you'll also go out of your way to steer every conversation to something about you. A classic example is when you're catching up with a friend, and instead of listening to what they have to say, you immediately jump into your updates and the focus stays on you.
3. You Always Believe You're Right
You will never back down from an argument until the other person gives in or agrees with you. Even if, partway through the conversation, you realize that you're wrong, you still won't budge an inch. You get satisfaction knowing that you get the last say because everything is a competition to you, and you must win.
4. You're Quick to Place Blame on Others
Even if something is your fault, you're quick to push the blame on others. Remember the last point? Even when you're in the wrong, you'll stay adamant and think you're right. If you're late to a meeting, it's because of the traffic, not because you took too long getting ready. If you accidentally scraped someone's car, it's because they parked badly.
5. You Lack Empathy
Self-obsessed people never hear others telling them that they're a good listener, and that's because they aren't. It isn't just that you find it hard to connect with others in a conversation and understand their feelings—it's more that you don't think they're important enough to warrant empathy from you.
6. You Think You're the Victim
No matter what, you'll always think of yourself as the victim. This is a step further than just placing the blame on others—you think the whole world is against you. Because of this, you get extremely defensive when people give you feedback or constructive criticism since you already think you're perfect enough.
7. You Avoid Responsibility
While you're quick to blame others, when it comes to taking the lead or responsibility for something, you'll straight up avoid it. After all, you need to maintain a perfect, fault-free image, and you can't afford—and won't admit—to make mistakes. You also rather not have to put in extra effort; leave that to everyone else.
8. You Throw Backhanded Compliments
Those who are self-obsessed expect others to praise and compliment them, but they'll hardly ever give back the same enthusiasm. Instead, they'll toss back-handed compliments, like, "Wow, I didn't expect that you'd do such a great job," or, "That haircut actually looks good on you."
9. You Never Ask Questions About Others
You love it when the spotlight's on you, and you'll make sure it stays on you by never asking others questions. You don't care at all about what others have to say or what life updates they have because you're the important one, and you're the one whose words matter.
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10. You Believe You're Above Everyone Else
Again, who cares about what others have to say or what they do when you're the one who matters? When you're self-obsessed, you think you're better than everyone else in every possible way—work, school, life, appearance—and no one comes close to even being on par with you.
11. You Don't Reciprocate Effort
If someone goes out of their way to help you, you never reciprocate that effort back. Instead, you think everyone should be bending their backs over for you, but you're not required to give them anything in return—even your time.
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12. You're a Control Freak
Self-obsessed people are control freaks, and they'll manipulate people and things to get what they want. Everything also has to follow and be exactly how they want it. Whether in friendships or relationships, they'll tell others what they should and should not do.
13. Your Needs Always Come First
Everything has to go your way; after all, your priorities matter most. You only care about whether something will be convenient for you. This may mean others will have to come over to you to meet with you, but you'll never offer to drive to them, or that others have to follow your schedule even if it's not the best time for them.
14. Everything Is a Competition to You
It's not only that you always believe you're right, but you also hold yourself in such high regard that you believe you're the standard. This makes everything seem like a competition. Even if good things happen to others, you immediately shift the attention—and the crown—back to you.
15. You're Impatient
Self-obsessed people don't have time to waste on others. While they'll make everyone else wait for them, they won't return that kindness and effort and wait on others. As a result, it's often difficult for others to want to help or converse with them because of the impatient, snippy attitude they might be met back with.
16. You Rarely Apologize
You rarely apologize if you're self-obsessed because, simply put, you don't think you're ever in the wrong. And even if you are, you won't back down and admit it. Instead, you'll deflect and push blame on others rather than confess to your mistakes.
17. You Don't Keep Promises
Another clear sign that you're self-obsessed is when you make excuses and you never keep promises. If you're ever called out on it, you'll also get defensive. Again, the reason for this kind of response is because you think your needs come first, and you don't care about how that mindset affects others.
18. You Have a Short Temper
When you're self-obsessed, you have a short fuse and get upset quickly when things don't go your way. You'll also feel attacked when others point out your mistakes and wrongs, which may lead to you either feeling angry or victimized. It doesn't help either that you're impatient.
19. You Put Others Down to Bring Yourself Up
Self-obsessed people will happily tear others apart and make them feel terrible in favor of building themselves up. For example, in team projects, they might say that it was only a success because they were a part of it, disregarding others' efforts. Sometimes, comments could even be as simple as, "You didn't know that? I thought it was obvious," or, "I can solve that in my sleep. How could you not know how to do it?"
20. You Can't Keep Friendships & Relationships
Unsurprisingly, you'll struggle to maintain good relationships with people around you if you're self-obsessed. No one wants to be around someone who only cares about themselves. Another obvious sign—and a sign that you should change your ways—is when others explicitly criticize your personality and behavior. Self-obsessed people do not make good friends or partners, so don't let this be you.
