Simple Advice for Difficult Times
Some lessons you learn in the classroom, while others you can only learn through living. As much as our families and teachers try to prepare us for the world, there are some things you learn only by going through them yourself. Here are 20 life lessons everyone wishes they knew sooner.
1. Self-care isn’t selfish
Self-care may seem like just another pop-psychology buzzword, but it’s actually so much more. In living through what the World Health Organization calls a “mental health crisis”, taking care of yourself is more than scented candles and bubble baths—it’s a necessity. Remember that it is always better to take time for yourself than to burn out trying to achieve impossible goals.
2. Not everyone will like you
We all want to be liked, even by people we ourselves don’t necessarily like. Fitting in and being accepted by your peers is a core human desire, but you shouldn’t let it take over your life. Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay.
The only way out is through
When faced with obstacles, it may seem easier to avoid them for as long as possible, but such evasion can actually be detrimental to your success. Difficult situations are just that: difficult, and you may struggle to see yourself through them. Nonetheless, you should try and face your challenges head-on and come out stronger on the other side.
4. Small acts can have big outcomes
Think of Neil Armstrong’s words during the moon landing: “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Small acts of kindness or courage can make all the difference in your life or someone else’s. Something as seemingly inconsequential as giving someone a dollar or offering a friend a ride home could change their life in ways nobody could have predicted.
5. Own up to your mistakes
We know it’s easy to make excuses. Whether it’s the old “my-dog-ate-my-homework” trick or walking away from a mess you made, we’re all afraid of the embarrassment and potential punishment that comes from admitting our mistakes. However, everyone makes mistakes, and admitting to them shows honesty and responsibility, which are more important than embarrassment anyway.
6. Money can’t buy happiness…
You’ve heard it said a million times, but more money doesn’t necessarily mean more happiness. The people you hold onto, the emotions you feel, and the experiences you go through are worth more than a million dollars.
7. …But it can improve your life
Don’t underestimate the difference that a couple of dollars could make to your quality of life. Money may not be everything, but it makes your baseline life much easier. Even something as simple as buying a pair of earplugs for noisy commutes can make an incredible difference in your life, and being smart with your savings can provide you with a safety net if you’re ever in a jam.
8. Give others grace…
No matter how often you hear it said that everyone is fighting their own personal battles, it’s worth remembering that it’s true. From random passersby on the street to loved ones, you may never know what those people are going through to make them act in a way that may be less than courteous. The golden rule is golden for a reason.
9. …But don’t forget to save some for yourself
Would you call another person stupid for tripping or spilling something? We should hope not! So, why then, do we feel such a need to berate ourselves for the tiniest of errors? Treat others the way you want to be treated, but treat yourself well too.
10. Community is about people, not places
Living in an increasingly online world means that we’re more connected than ever before. So, while you may belong to a whole slew of communities—neighborhoods, clubs, fandoms etc—it’s important to remember that the ties that bind us together don’t just come from shared interests or zipcodes, but from our connection to our fellow human beings. A neighborhood without anyone living in it is just a row of empty houses.
11. You’ll never know unless you never try
Nobody wants to leave behind a legacy of regrets. Whether it’s asking your boss for a promotion, picking up a new hobby, or stepping out of your comfort zone, the world has so many opportunities waiting for you. All you have to do is ask for them.
12. Don’t settle for what you think you deserve
Stop punishing yourself! You probably deserve more than you give yourself credit for, and give yourself less credit than you deserve. Self-flagellation will get you nowhere. Even though it may be easy to accept mediocrity, you deserve better than that and should strive for more.
13. You can make a difference
Whether it’s voting in a municipal election, supporting someone’s art, or giving voice to a cause, your voice matters even against the great, howling void of the universe. Propping up your fellow humans when they need a helping hand, living a more sustainable lifestyle, even learning more about the world you live in can make a huge difference in the long run.
14. Common courtesy goes a long way
Living through an extended global pandemic definitely did some damage to our social skills, so it’s a bit of a learning curve getting back into human interaction. That said, something as little as smiling at a cashier or saying hello to someone on the street—even if you don’t know them—can make someone’s day. We remember when people are kind to us, and that kindness goes a long way.
15. You only get one body
Until we figure out a way to upload a person’s consciousness to the cloud, we only have one body with which to live. On average, humans live about 75-80 years. While this may seem like forever, especially when you’re young, life can creep up on you. All those years take a toll on your body, so take care of it. At the same time, this body is your body—get that tattoo you’ve been thinking about, dye your hair a fun color, make your body a safe place to come home to.
16. Suffering doesn’t build character
When asked whether growing up in poverty helped his creativity, filmmaker Orson Welles simply answered with “Uh, no.” Suffering isn’t noble because great art came from it; great art comes from suffering because people survive it.
17. Family looks different for everyone
As the world we live in changes, so does the way we understand ourselves and the ways in which we understand each other. The traditional definition of what a family is has been changing over the past few decades from blended families to same-sex parents and found families. There’s no shame in having a traditional nuclear family, but it isn’t the only way to live either. If you come from a difficult family, there’s never any shame in making a new one with people you feel safe with.
18. You can’t change other people
Okay, maybe sometimes you can change someone else’s mind on matters big or small. That doesn’t mean you’ll be able to change every person to fit your every expectation. Sometimes people change, and sometimes they’re so stuck in their own ways that trying to change them is futile.
19. Kindness is a choice
If there’s one thing that seems more pertinent than ever, it’s the importance of being kind against a loveless world. Kindness isn’t ingrained anywhere in our DNA as much as we may wish it were. Kindness is something taught and practiced; more than anything, it’s a choice we make every single day of our lives. We can choose to be kind—to ourselves, our planet, and others.
20. It’s not over until it’s over
Sometimes it may seem as though all hope is lost, like you’re standing over the edge of a tall cliff with a long, long drop. It’s at times like these when it may seem as though there’s nothing you can do and no point in trying. Nothing is over until you say it’s over, remember that.
