A Little Truth We Don’t Say Out Loud
Unspoken desires aren't necessarily those you don't think can be satisfied - they simply can be uncomfortable or scary to ask for. Many women consider how your request will be perceived before they even think about asking. I can't read your mind, but I can guess at some of the things you might want.
1. Consistent Effort Without Being Reminded
She wants to know that you won’t stop putting in work once you’ve gotten her interest. She wants to feel like you care about her without her having to remind you. When you take the initiative, she knows you aren’t just accidentally giving her attention or that it’s only temporary.
2. Emotional Check-Ins That Go Beyond “You Good?”
Asking “You good?” every now and again is sweet. But she wants you to notice when her mood shifts and ask with intention. That means you’re taking the time to notice her instead of brushing past her.
3. To Be Desired, Not Just Loved
Being told you love her is comforting but hearing that you want her fires her confidence up. She wants you to make her feel desired so that she feels safe enough to let her walls down. It shows that the spark is very much there.
4. Help Without Having to Manage the Help
Prefacing every task with an explanation of what you need her to do can be tedious. She wishes you would notice when something needs to be done and take care of it without her having to tell you. That way it will feel less like you’re helping her and more like you’re working with her.
5. Space to Change Her Mind
What she may have said she wanted to do last year, or even last month might change. She hopes you will allow her to change her mind without holding her to things she said when she was anything but herself. She likes to be flexible and you should too.
6. Compliments That Aren’t About Her Looks
“You’re so beautiful” is music to her ears, but she wants to hear you recognize other things she puts effort into. Whether it’s her intelligence, her dedication, or her character. You’ll find those compliments stick with her longer.
7. To Feel Safe Saying No
She might say yes to things she actually wants to say no to because she’s scared you’ll get angry with her. She wants you to know that her saying no will never push you away or lead to an argument. The ability to say no to things without you getting upset makes for a stronger connection down the line.
8. Thoughtful Listening Without Fixing Everything
There will be times when she just wants you to listen without trying to fix her problems. She wants you to understand and sit with her in the moment. You’re not expected to have an answer, just to hear her out.
9. Affection That Isn’t a Lead-In
She wants you to hug her without it leading to something spicy. She wants you to know that sometimes your touches can just be comforting. It’s important that there is a difference between sensual and cozy.
10. To Be Chosen Publicly and Privately
Having you love and support her when no one else is around is great but she wants you to do that when you’re out too. She wants you to hold her hand without being grossed out or make her feel safe when she’s around your friends. Consistently reassuring her when you’re alone and with others will allow her to feel secure.
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11. Patience When She’s Processing
She may not know how she feels about something right away. She wants you to allow her time to figure things out without you pressing her for an answer. Letting her take her time shows that you care about her feelings.
12. Playfulness That Breaks Routine
Life can get boring when there’s no laughter. She wants you to make her laugh and not feel like everything you do is scheduled. Be spontaneous, it’s that easy.
13. Honest Communication, Even When It’s Uncomfortable
White lies may seem like the easier option but hearing you say what’s on your mind is better. She would rather hear you be upset than walk around trying to figure out what you’re thinking. The best practice is to simply not keep any secrets from each other.
14. Recognition for Emotional Labor
Birthdays, checking in on her, and helping her feel better when she’s had a long day. These things take effort on her end. She wants you to recognize that.
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15. A Sense of Partnership, Not Competition
She doesn’t want to feel like every conversation or situation is one big argument where someone has to win. She wants you both to work together to understand each other. Longer relationships are built on mutual respect and trust, not just intimacy.
16. Reassurance Without Having to Ask for It
She knows that little doubts about your relationship will try to pop in her mind. She just wants you to assure her that everything is alright before she lets those thoughts in. Telling her you love her and you’ll always be by her side no matter what is exactly what she wants to hear.
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17. Support for Her Independence
Just because she needs space, doesn’t mean she’s pushing you away. She wants you to support her in continuing to grow as an individual while keeping you in the picture. Alone time doesn’t mean she doesn’t like being with you, it just means she needs a moment to herself, and that’s absolutely fine.
18. Follow-Through on Promises
She knows you mean well but saying you’ll do something means nothing if you don’t follow through. She wants to know that she can trust your words. Actions are your best friend.
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19. Curiosity About Her Inner World
Her thoughts, fears, and dreams are important to her. She wants you to ask about them and listen when she tells you. Showing interest in the deep stuff will allow her to know you care about her on a different level.
20. To Feel Like She’s Enough as She Is
Women love self-help books and growing as a person. But they also want to know that you love them enough to accept them for who they are. When she feels accepted, she will allow herself to grow.
