Ruining Your Date
Ever wonder why the guy suddenly lost interest, or why a great date began taking a nose dive? Well, you might have said some of the things on this list. At the end of the day, it depends on the man and what either of you want, but typically, these 20 things can come across a bit annoying to an interested man.
1. You’re just like my ex
This comparison might not be meant in a bad way, but it rarely goes over well. Men don’t like feeling like they’re being compared to the last guy. It can make them feel replaceable, which can ruin any attraction they might be building.
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2. I’m not really looking for anything serious
Saying that you aren't looking for anything serious can seem like honesty, but it’s a big turn off. It’s just too soon for that line. Men hear it as a sign that they shouldn’t get attached.
3. Why are you still single?
This is one of those questions that can make a man feel judged. It implies that there’s something wrong with him, even if that’s not the intent. Attraction has a hard time surviving in that kind of environment.
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4. My friends won’t like you
No matter how much this is said as a joke, it still feels like a diss. This is the wrong time to worry about anyone else’s opinions. A man has not been given a chance to be himself yet.
5. You should do it this way
It might be well meaning, but giving unsolicited advice too early is another form of criticism. Men want to be respected for the way they do things. When a woman criticizes everything, it makes it hard to be attracted to her.
6. I hate drama
Drama can be a real mood ruiner, but it’s best not to use that exact term in dating. Many people associate it with conflict rather than peace. It can sound more like a warning instead of a value.
7. All men are the same
No one likes to be called out as a part of a group, and men aren’t an exception. He will feel singled out and judged before he’s even given a chance to prove himself. It also implies past frustration from other relationships.
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8. I don’t really need anyone
Independence is good, but that statement can sound off putting when it’s said too soon. It implies that there’s no room for a partner in her life. Men often interpret that as emotional unavailability, and if they don’t think they are needed, they quickly lose interest.
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9. You’re overreacting
Men like to feel like they can be themselves around women. When they’re not allowed to have reactions, it gets old fast. This statement can sound dismissive of his emotions, making it so that he can’t be himself around you.
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10. I usually don’t go for guys like you
This is usually said as a way to be playful and honest. However, men will hear this and wonder where they rank in her mind. Is he just being judged, or is he being put up with for now?
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11. My family is very involved in my life
Family is important, but it’s a red flag when a woman talks about her overwhelming closeness to her family too soon. It might be a sign that boundaries don’t exist in the relationship. The barrage of opinions might become overwhelming quickly.
12. You’re lucky I gave you a chance
As a joke, it might work, but there is an element of condescension to this phrase. Women who use it are implying that the man should be honored to be in their presence. Men want to feel like they’re chosen too, not just evaluated. When the balance is off like this, attraction goes out the window.
13. I’m bad at relationships
Self-awareness is important, but it’s best not to bring up relationship failures before there is a relationship. A man might worry about unresolved issues, or even emotional risk. He could wonder if this is even a possibility, or if the relationship is doomed from the start.
14. I don’t really trust people
Trust is a big issue for many people, but announcing it too early can be a turn off. It makes it feel like the walls will be hard to break through. Men feel like they are being sized up constantly.
15. My friends say I’m intimidating
Confidence is good, but men hear this as emotional unapproachability. Dating often requires warmth and openness in order to work. It can be hard to show that if there is a layer of intimidation.
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16. I’m brutally honest
Men don’t mind if a woman is brutally honest, but this phrase often precedes bluntness. It makes them feel like they need to prepare for it, rather than seeing it as something genuine. It can feel like a lack of tact instead of honesty.
17. I don’t have time for games
This phrase is usually said with the best of intentions. It is a way of saying that she is serious about dating. The problem is that it also sounds defensive or jaded, when dating should feel light and curious in the beginning.
18. You’re different than I expected
This can go either way depending on tone, but it should be used carefully. It can sound like she’s disappointed, rather than surprised. He might feel like he failed to meet some expectation that she didn’t share.
19. I’m very picky
Setting standards is a good thing. However, this statement feels like she’s announcing a never-ending cycle of evaluation and rejection. Men want to feel appreciated, not judged constantly.
20. I don’t know why you like me
The intention is to be humble, but this statement can actually imply insecurity. Men might start to feel like their attraction is being questioned or rejected. Confidence is attractive, and uncertainty is the opposite of that.
