Subtle Sparks
Waiting for a guy to get up the nerve to make the first move can take forever. Most women enjoy being chased, but sometimes the men in their lives need a little push first. With that in mind, here are 20 subtle hints to help him feel comfortable initiating.
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1. Master the Three-Second Look
Eye contact is the single best flirting technique when spoken words aren’t an option. Hold his gaze for a few seconds longer than you normally would, then look away with a shy grin. This small amount of tension keeps him thinking about you and encourages him to make his move.
2. Utilize Open Body Language
Make it easy on him. If you look comfortable and carefree, he’ll feel more confident approaching you. Try not to cross your arms and hide behind your cell phone when you’re scanning the room. Angle your body toward him and keep your hands visible.
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3. Offer a Sincere Compliment
Guys don’t get unsolicited compliments very often. Take a second to tell him that you like his shirt or that he did a good job on that presentation. Once he feels appreciated, he’ll want to continue the conversation to feel that feeling again.
4. Ask for a Tiny Favor
Asking for help is a great way to form a bond with someone quickly. Ask him to grab something off a high shelf or ask for his input when ordering drinks. By doing this, you are creating an opportunity for him to step into his masculine role.
5. Create a Physical Gap
If you have your arms wrapped around your friends the entire time, it can seem very daunting for him to come over and interrupt. Make yourself available by stepping away to get another drink or walking to the outskirts of the group alone for a minute. Creating this physical space invites him over to fill the void.
6. Use the Power of the Pivot
Let’s say you two are already talking to each other in a group. While having this conversation, pivot your body so that you’re only turning toward him. Not only does this tell the other people in your group to take a step back, but it also makes him feel like you want to only hear what he has to say.
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7. Flash a Genuine Smile
Smiling is a powerful thing. Not only does it make people feel like you’re having a good time, but it also reinforces that you want them to make you smile again. If he sees that you’re smiling a lot when he’s around, he’ll feel obligated to be the reason for your next smile.
8. Mention Your Upcoming Plans
Mention that you really want to see a local band but dread going alone. You didn’t exactly invite him, but you just gave him the perfect opportunity. If he cares about you, he will take the hint and offer to go with you.
9. Touch Him Lightly on the Arm
Touch is one of the quickest ways to go from the friend zone to flirting. Lightly brushing your forearm along his while laughing at something he says tells him that his presence isn’t intimidating to you. Once he realizes this, he’ll feel more confident reciprocating.
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10. Leave a Little Mystery
Ever notice how when you meet someone new, you spill your life story within the first five minutes? Don’t do this! It’s fun to hold something back and keep people guessing. Make him ask questions to get to know you.
11. React to His Social Media
Consider sliding into his DMs or simply leaving a heart on his latest post. This is essentially the digital age equivalent of dropping your handkerchief for a guy to pick up. It places your name at the top of his notification inbox.
12. Be the First to Walk Away
Breaking the contact before he asks you to leave is an old but gold trick. By making an excuse to go find your friends or go home when the two of you are still having a good time, you’re creating a feeling of scarcity that will have him desperate to see you again.
13. Wear a Distinctive Fragrance
Our brains are hardwired to link smell with memory, which makes a strong fragrance one of the best aromas. When you turn to hear him speak, he’ll smell your perfume, which creates such a personal connection. He’ll even ask you what scent you’re wearing.
14. Mirror His Movements
Mirroring his body language is a psychological tactic that allows you and him to feel a sense of unconscious rapport. It’s a secret trick that allows you two to feel connected when you’re sitting in perfect sync with one another. Simply mirror his movements; if he crosses his legs, you cross yours, and so on.
15. Mention Your Single Status
You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops, but if you casually work your relationship status into the conversation. Chances are, he’s playing it safe because he doesn’t know if you’re single or even interested in giving him your number. Let him know you're riding solo and create an opportunity.
16. Give Him Your Full Attention
Looking someone in the eyes while giving them your undivided attention is something we could all use more of these days. Make eye contact with him and actually listen to what he has to say. This gives him the confidence to keep going.
17. Use Playful Teasing
Healthy teasing is very similar to competition, which is basically foreplay in itself. Just be nice about it! Tease him about something small, such as his favorite sports team or the movies he likes watching.
18. Ask Deeply Engaging Questions
Next time you’re talking to a guy, spruce up the conversation by inquiring about his favorite way to spend his free time or what he loved to do as a kid. Questions like these can’t be answered with yes or no, which is a great start to any conversation. He’ll be flattered that you want to know more about him and will want to continue getting to know you.
19. Find a Common Interest
Finding out that you two both hate the same ice cream flavor is cute, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Find deeper points of connection instead, and it's even better if it includes plans. He now has the perfect excuse to ask you to go check out a favorite band’s next concert.
20. Trust Your Own Vibe
Confidence is incredibly attractive, so simply enjoying yourself and being present is often the best strategy of all. When you are happy and secure in your own skin, you radiate an energy that people naturally want to be around. If you are having a great time, he’ll want to be a part of that joy and will find a way to make it happen.
