There’s no way around it, online dating is rough. Consistent competition, ghosting, inappropriate icebreakers, the list goes on for glaring problems. That said, online dating is a two-way street and you could very well be guilty of some red flags, even if you don’t mean to be. Here are 20 no-nos to stop making on dating apps.
1. Empty Page
Depending on which dating site you use, the introductory prompts can be overwhelming. It’ll take some time to thoroughly fill out your profile, but it’s a necessary commitment. Profiles with little to no information don’t give potential partners much to go on—not to mention, you could easily be dismissed as spam.
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2. Bad Openers
It’s best to avoid generic opening lines. Online dating is flooded with competition, so you need to stand out. If your opener looks like you’ve sent it to 20 people, chances are the receiver thinks the same.
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3. Lewd Introductions
Speaking of bad openers, don’t say something slimy right from the jump. You don’t know each other and inappropriate introductions will probably get ignored or blocked.
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4. Redirect to Other Apps
If your dating profile asks potential partners to add you on other platforms, particularly Snapchat, it’s a red flag. If your first move is redirection to another platform, it usually comes off like you want dirty photos immediately.
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5. One Photo
You need more than one photo. People want a clear idea of who they’re talking to and having one photo looks like phishing or some kind of scam.
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6. Over Eager
People are busy. Two-week radio silence is one thing, but give people the benefit of the doubt if you don’t hear back right away. Incessant follow-up messages can make you look impatient or aggressive.
7. Ex Talk
Whatever you’re harboring for an ex is best left out of the conversation. If you haven’t moved on, take time to process. Don’t air grievances about an old flame to a potential new one.
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8. Selfish Discussion
Communication goes both ways. Avoid talking about yourself nonstop. Ask the other person about their life, hobbies, and profile to show you have a genuine interest.
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9. Ghosting
If a match resurfaces after a long silence, it’s not a good sign. Try to make time for the one you’re interested in otherwise it looks like you were browsing options and came back when a “better choice” fell through.
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10. Unsolicited Photos
Don’t ask strangers for inappropriate photos—all you’re doing is scaring off a potential partner. This stuff can happen gradually when you’re more comfortable with each other, it shouldn’t be the first thing you ask for. Don’t send any unsolicited photos either.
11. A Jaded Profile
Online dating is competitive, full of arbitrary rules, and time-consuming. It’s easy to feel jaded after a while. But when those feelings trickle into your profile, it can turn people off. If need be, take a break from online dating so negativity doesn’t hurt your chances.
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12. List of Demands
If your profile details what a partner should and should not be, it’s a quick way to get swiped. Having an idea of what you like is one thing, but discarding anyone who doesn’t measure up to a list of demands sets the wrong tone.
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13. Not Meeting
The next step in meeting people online is to meet them in person. If you’ve built a solid foundation and still don’t meet up, it’s easy for someone to lose interest or question your relationship status.
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14. One-Word Responses
A conversation goes nowhere if you only reply with one word. Ideally, your match has enough profile information to spark a proper conversation and one-word replies make you look uninterested.
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15. Sending Warnings
Even if you’re joking, when you “warn” someone about your personality, they’ll take it seriously. At the end of the day, it’s not a risk people want to take, so consider switching up your strategy.
16. Generic Personality Traits
Loving The Office isn’t the conversation starter you think it is. Same with being a coffee-lover or “fluent in sarcasm.” Even if it’s true, personality traits like these are a dime a dozen and people tend to swipe if you blend into the crowd.
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17. Inconsistency
We all have lives outside of online dating, but if you truly like a person, you’ll make time for them. Dipping in and out of conversations isn’t a good look, so if you want to show your true interest, consistent communication is the way.
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18. Disrespecting Boundaries
A person draws lines in the sand for a reason. If you push boundaries or outright disrespect them, don’t expect anything good to come out of it.
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19. Financial Requests
With the world full of scams, asking for money is an awful idea. The same goes for questions about how much a person makes.
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20. Overly Keen
Compliments are nice, but too many rapid-fire or an “I love you” after two weeks are signs of love-bombing, a common manipulation technique. Even if you sincerely meant your flattery, it could come off as impending emotional abuse.
