It can be hard to see your friendship in an objective way when you feel all those emotions and ties with them, but if it's for your own mental health, it can be important to do so. Here are 10 ways to tell if you've got a bad best friend who is harming you, and 10 ways to tell you've got a solid best friend for life.

1. Gossiping

While everyone loves a little bit of harmless gossip, if you have a friend who spills your secrets and personal info that you trusted them with, that's a major red flag. You told them those facts in confidence, and having them expose that to the world can make you feel betrayed and vulnerable.

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2. Self-Centered

Who wants to be friends with someone who only thinks about themselves? Like any relationship, friendships are a two way street too - having a selfish, self-centered friend is mentally-taxing and completely one-sided. At that point, you can barely call it a friendship if everything is revolving around them.

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3. Dishonest

If trust is important in a romantic relationship, it's just as important in a friendship. Dishonesty and telling lies can only lead to toxicity and a feeling of being uncomfortable around that friend. It makes you think twice about what you can or can't say to them.

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4. Jealous

In a good friendship, your successes are theirs, and their successes are also yours. Because at the end of the day, you should be happy for each other and always support each other's goals. If your friend only displays jealousy towards your individual wins, that's just not a friend at all.

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5. Judgmental

Sometimes a toxic friend doesn't hide behind pretty words, sometimes it can be clear as day to tell who your real friends are. A judgmental, critical friend will always belittle you and attack your every action. They judge you for your mistakes, making you feel inferior as they chip away at your self-esteem.

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6. Neglectful

Negligence can take form in many different ways. It could be that your friend never makes the effort to maintain the friendship, never shows any interest in your life, or never celebrates any of your big next steps. Whatever it is, the feelings you're left with are the same: loneliness, hurt, and confusion.

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7. Manipulative

Gaslighting you so that you can see their perspective or pressuring you so that the situation is more favourable for themselves is the sign of a bad friend. Manipulation is nothing to laugh about. It shows that they're selfish and are willing to use you for their own gain.

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8. Competitive

While a little competition is harmless and can be seen in good fun, it's a different story when your friend always turns everything into a contest and makes it their one goal to beat you. It's not that they want to win, they want you to look bad while they outshine you. Having this constant competitive nature seeping into your friendship can feel stressful, especially when what you want is a supportive friend.

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9. Unempathetic

During your roughest moments, all we want is a friend who will be there for us. If your friend shows a complete lack of sympathy, displays zero understanding, and doesn't give you the support you need, you need to remove this unfeeling, unempathetic friend from your life.

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10. Unreliable

Following that point about not having your friend be there for you, all it means is that they're unreliable and you can never count on them. Is that really what you want from a friend? For them to give you trust issues instead of the support you want and deserve?

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1. Trustworthy

It can be as little as venting about your day, or as big as expressing concern over a family problem. No matter what your problem is, having a trustworthy friend that won't say word means a whole lot. It makes you feel comfortable with telling them whatever you need to without ever worrying that it will get around.

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2. Supportive

During both the good and the bad times, you can always count on a supportive friend to be exactly what you need. Life is full of challenges, and while it can be tough, having a reliable friend there for you will give you just the push you need to get through it.

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3. Loyal

No matter what you're going through and no matter what your friend is going through, being loyal means you're both willing to stick with each other through the thick of it all. A loyal friend will always be there by your side, providing you with whatever help you need in that moment.

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4. Truthful

If dishonesty is one of the worst traits to find in a best friend, then it makes sense why the opposite makes it one of the best traits. An honest, truthful friend will always give you the facts even when it's difficult. It's not because they're trying to hurt you, but because they're trying to help you. Their commitment to being sincere and genuine can be what builds a lasting bond and friendship.

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5. Brings Good Vibes

Obviously, if you're with your friends, what you want is good vibes and good energy! Having a best friend that just radiates positivity and happiness is enough to bring a smile to anyone's face. Sometimes all you need is a bit of that infectious attitude, making all your meetups feel all the sweeter.

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6. Fun-Loving

Being with friends is about having fun, so having a best friend that brings that fun spirit and energy is what makes spending time together all the more enjoyable and exciting. You love them because they bring that happy positivity into your daily life!

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7. Dependable

A dependable friend won't care what time it is or where you are - when you need them, they'll be there in a heartbeat. Knowing that you can count of them will make it feel easier to get through the hardships and difficulties that you're currently facing.

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8. Non-Judgmental

If you're weird, embrace it! Because knowing that you've got a non-judgmental friend behind you can make you feel comfortable and safe to be exactly who you are. 

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9. Good Listener

No one wants to feel like they're talking to a brick wall, which is why having a friend that's also a good listener is so important. It makes you feel seen, heard, and understood. It shows that they care about what you have to say and are genuinely interested in what's going on in your life.

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10. Kind-Hearted

And of course, what kind of best friend would they be if they're not kind-hearted to begin with? Being kind is an underrated trait - it's so so important. Being friends with someone who is giving, compassionate, and appreciative makes you want to be a better person and friend too.

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