So, Where Are You From—Oh, It’s Over
For all the dating apps out there, all the sports bars and timid coffee shop meetups, do you know what doesn’t get as much attention? Speed dating! We know it seems like something from a ‘90s infomercial, but these events are actually one of the coolest ways to meet new people…if you know what you’re doing. Come with us as we explore the most common dos and don’ts.
1. Don’t Arrive Late
Speed dating shares a lot of the same rules as regular dating, one of them being to arrive on time. Tardiness not only makes a bad first impression, but it also causes you to lose your spot among the crowd. Arrive on time and get to know people you’re interested in.
2. Keep Off Your Phone
You’re in a go-go-go environment! This isn’t the place for a phone call, and it’s even ruder to whip out your cell during a conversation. There’s no harm in bringing it, but your eyes should be on your date, not your screen.
3. Don’t Monopolize the Conversation
You only have so much on a speed date to get a word in. We know that makes it more challenging, but that’s no excuse to dominate the conversation. Make sure you ask just as many questions as you answer.
4. Try Not to Get Hammered
These events know how nervous you are; they’re going to offer champagne! There’s nothing like a little liquid courage to take the edge off—so long as you consume within your limits. Getting hammered on any date is a bad look.
5. Don’t Treat it Like an Interview
Not everyone is a great conversationalist, and it’s even more daunting when you have a time limit. However, the last thing you want to do is treat your date like an interview. If you match, small talk will flow without issue.
6. Never Complain About the Event
It’s one thing to lightly rib an awkward event, but it’s another to complain the whole night. A lighthearted joke is a good way to ease people’s nerves, including your own, and that’s where it should stop. That negativity rubs off on other people, and then you’ll both hate the experience.
7. Avoid Cheesy One-Liners
If you’re lucky, a cheesy one-liner won’t get you a drink in the face. But a lot of people practice their openers beforehand, sometimes turning to the internet and memorizing lame scripts. Trust that your personality is more than enough to woo them; you’re on a date, not at an audition.
8. Don’t Make it All About Looks
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having a type! The thing is, you have more than enough time to pick those who interest you, and once you’re on the date, it’s time to charm them. It’s not the time to gawk at them or make inappropriate comments.
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9. Keep Alpha Male Talk Out of It
It doesn’t matter if you’re jaded. It doesn’t matter if you’ve done this a thousand times. Keep any “alpha male” speak off the table. The second you bring up nice guys or even whisper the word “sigma,” is when she’ll leave.
10. Don’t Force Anyone to Stay
Sometimes, people just don’t vibe with each other—even after several minutes together. That’s okay; the best thing to do is shake hands and move on. There’s nothing worse than refusing to let them go. That kind of behavior shows just how perturbed you are with rejection, and it’s a giant turn-off.
While speed dating is a little daunting, a few easy tricks can help you secure that second date. Let’s dive into some methods that actually work.
1. Choose the Right Event
Not every speed dating session is made the same. Sometimes, you only have a few minutes to chat. Others encourage group conversations. Do your research and pick the event that’s best for you.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions
The difference between questions and open-ended questions is what follows! Open-ended questions leave more space for discussion, which is exactly how you can bond with someone. It’s also a good way to encourage answers out of you, taking the pressure off the other person.
3. Make Eye Contact
Is that a plunging neckline? Does that person have mustard on their tie? Gee, what time is it? It’s easy to get overwhelmed during speed dating, but try to keep your eyes on who’s in front of you. It’s dating 101, and it’s how you score brownie points.
4. Bring an Interesting Accessory
Fun accessories show off your personality and serve as conversation starters! Anything from goofy ties to heirloom brooches can incite questions, allowing you both to connect. Even if it’s not a love match, at least you’ll have something to talk about.
5. Keep it Light
Humor is one of the biggest turn-ons. There’s nothing wrong with joking about the setting or lightly ribbing yourself to get a chuckle. The more someone laughs, the more attracted to you they can become.
6. Dress Up a Little
You’d think this would go without saying, but not everyone treats speed dating as they should. You’re still meeting new people—potentially partners—and that means a little dressing up. You don’t need to show up in formalwear, but you should at least shave and shower.
7. Have Realistic Expectations
The odds of you finding your soulmate during these events are…slim. Sure, it’s not impossible, but speed dating is really about fun and meeting interesting people. Curtail your expectations so you actually have a good time.
8. Try to Take Subtle Notes
These events introduce you to all sorts of people, and it’s easy to lose connections in the crowd. If you meet someone you like, take a mental note of them. What did they wear? What was their name? Do you remember an interesting fact about them? It’s all information that will help you find them later.
9. Don’t Try to Be Someone Else
On the surface, speed dating seems like the perfect place to test drive new personas. After all, you probably won’t see them again. However, as we mentioned, this is a date, not an audition, so the best thing you can be is yourself!
10. Attend Another Event
Unless you really hated it, don’t give up on speed dating after one event. Plenty have their own themes and a new round of people to meet, so casting a wide net is a good way to up your odds. It’s also a solid way to get out of your comfort zone!
