How Casual Is Too Casual?
What is a situationship you ask? It's when your relationship has no label or definition. You're not "just" friends but you're also not really boyfriend and girlfriend either. It's all about convenience and ease with these. You might get the physical intimacy without the commitment, but is that really what both of you want? It's time to reflect on your relationship today - here are 10 signs you might be in a situationship and 10 ways to get out if it's not for you.
1. You Haven't Labeled Your Relationship
Uh oh. If you and your so-called partner haven't had the "what are we" talk yet, it could be a clear sign you're stuck in a situationship. Every relationship has a title, whether it's boyfriend/girlfriend, fiancee, or even friends with benefits. Regardless of what it may be, it's important that you establish early on what you two mean to each other. Not doing so simply means it's not a serious relationship.
2. The Relationship Isn't Exclusive
Well, if you want a really obvious sign, if you or your partner are still seeing other people on the side, yeah, that means you're in a situationship. You might enjoy each other's company, but clearly, neither of you are committing.
3. You've Never Discussed Boundaries
Every proper relationship has their very own set of dos and dont's that need to be followed. Setting boundaries is important; it's how you ensure the relationship stays healthy and comfortable. If you've never even tickled the topic, you're probably not in a very serious relationship.
4. You Only Meet Up When It's Convenient
Being in a regular relationship means meeting up and going on dates on the regular. If you guys are only seeing each other every now and then when it's convenient (or if you're feeling lonely), that just screams situationship. Because if things were serious, your partner would be willing to set aside time to be with you.
5. The Relationship Has Stayed The Same Since The Beginning
Being with someone you love means constantly growing and changing together. The world is always evolving and we need to keep up! If you're finding that your relationship is holding you back or feels stagnant, it's a sign your partner isn't looking to grow with you.
6. You Barely Talk On A Frequent Basis
You can't really call it a relationship if you're not even talking with each other on a daily basis! Sending a simple hello just won't cut it. If you and your "partner" are only talking when you're free or bored, that's not really enjoying each other's company is it.
7. You're Not Really Comfortable With Each Other
For most relationships, after seeing each other for a couple of months, partners start to feel very comfortable around one another. That's because they communicate and are starting to get a feel for each other's likes and dislikes. If your relationship is incredibly casual, you're missing out on this time to get to know one another. So obviously, that comfort factor is going to be missing.
8. Your Dates Feel Superficial
Do your dates feel a bit meaningless? Do they lack effort? If your dates with your so-called partner are missing that spark or excitement, it might be because there's no real effort being put into them. When dates start to feel a bit standard or superficial, you know there are some missing emotions. Where's the passion, consideration, and care?
9. You Don't Feel A Special Connection
It's important to take a step back and reflect on your relationship sometimes. Think about the person you're with for a moment. How do you feel about them? If you're not feeling a special connection, chances are the relationship is too casual and it's not going anywhere, or you two are simply not a good match.
10. There's A Lot You Don't Know About Each Other
Be honest, do you really know the person you're with right now? If you're in a situationship, we wouldn't be surprised if you feel like your partner is a bit unfamiliar. You don't talk about the serious things, about future goals, dreams, or aspirations, because your relationship is centered around being easy and casual.
1. Reflect On Your Own Feelings
Don't like the situation you're in or want something more? The first step to making a change is reflecting on your own feelings. Understand what it is that you're feeling towards that person and what you want to do next. Do you want to continue and ask for something serious? Or are you comfortable with ending things?
2. Figure Out What You Want In A Relationship
It's also a good idea to figure out what it is that you want in a relationship first before making the next move. Think about what you're looking for not just in the present, but in the future too. It's crucial to know whether or not the two of you will be compatible going forward.
3. Actually Communicate
We know it's been a struggle in your situationship, but if you want things to change (for the better or worse), it's time to actually communicate. You can't know what your partner is thinking if you don't ask. Both of you need to discuss what you want from each other whether you're trying to move out of this stage or end things.
4. Have The "What Are We" Talk
While you might cringe at the thought of it, you absolutely need to establish your relationship. That's the biggest issue with situationships after all. Not knowing what you two mean to each other is what causes all the confusion to begin with.
5. Get To Know One Another Seriously
Trying to move past the situationship status and become a real couple? That means you've got to sit down and actually get to know one another. Gone are the days of miscommunication, awkward silence, and unfamiliarity. It's time to get serious.
6. Ask For Help From Friends Or Family
If you're unsure of what to do next, that's okay! You're in a tough spot and sometimes we need to engage with our support system. Don't be afraid of reaching out to friends and family that can give you helpful advice. You don't have to do this on your own.
7. Voice Your Needs And Wants
Speak up! What you want and need are important and you need to get that across. If you're unhappy with the way things are, you need to say it. Never forget that you should be putting you and your wellbeing first.
8. Stay Positive
We know you're in a difficult position but don't be too down on yourself! Try not to get stuck in your head with all those negative thoughts. Instead, try to focus on what you need to do next. Keep positive, trust yourself, and just know what you're doing is for the benefit of your future.
9. Be Firm
If your partner is trying to convince you to go down a different route, don't fall for it. If you don't want the same things, don't try to stretch yourself thin trying to make it work. Be firm with what you want and follow your heart.
10. Leave If You're Not Happy
At the end of the day, always keep in mind that no matter how hard you try, things might not work out. Don't push yourself and be strong. If your situationship isn't meant to have a happy ending, that's okay! Leave if you have to, especially if it's what will make you happy.
