10 Early Signs Your Relationship Won't Work & 10 That Say They're Your Soulmate
Forever Flame Or Just A Fleeting Fling?
The early stages of dating are fraught with excitement, romance, discovery, and confusion. It can be hard to discern if our hot and heavy emotions are indications of true love or just lust based on novelty. While it's not always clear, and your perspective can easily be muddied by your big feelings, being able to analyse and pick out the warning signs is incredibly empowering. To save you a lot of time, heartbreak, and complications, here are 10 early signs your relationship is destined to fizzle and fade, and 10 that say you've found your life partner.
1. You Avoid Talking About Them To Friends & Family
If you find yourself avoiding talking about your partner to friends and family, that's an indication that you're not that excited to be with them, or that you might even feel ashamed or embarrassed about your relationship. If you're serious about someone, you should feel excited to tell your close circle about them.
2. The Two Of You Can't Commit To Long-Term Goals
If one or both of you seems to avoid making any sort of long-term plans, it's an indication that you're having trouble seeing a future together. Maybe, deep down, you don't really want it.
3. Constant Criticism
If you've just begun dating and one or both of you are already making biting, critical comments to the other person or each other, just imagine how bad it will get a few years or decades down the road. While constructive feedback is fine, a pattern of belittlement will just breed resentment and unhappiness.
4. There's A Lack Of Communication
Open dialogue is the backbone of a healthy relationship. If you and your partner have poor or avoidant communication, you'll have to either put in the work early or tap out before communication breakdowns turn into major problems.
5. You Feel Anxious
Love shouldn't make you feel like you're walking on eggshells. If your relationship constantly breeds feelings of anxiety, more so than warmth and happiness, they may not be "the one" for you.
6. There's A Lack Of Trust
Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Without it, controlling and jealous behaviors ensue, making you or your partner feel trapped and disrespected.
7. You Don't Feel Like Your Authentic Self With Them
It's normal to adjust yourself slightly according to who you're with, but if you look in the mirror and you don't recognize the version of you who's with them, that's problematic. It means you feel the need to pretend to be someone else to please them.
8. You Have A Bad Gut Feeling
Have you ever heard the expression "go with your gut?" Even if you can't articulate why, if your instincts tell you something is off, don't write them off. Our subconscious feelings often know what's best.
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9. They Don't Respect Your Boundaries
In the throes of love, there will be moments when your carefully constructed boundaries naturally crumble away. While there's nothing wrong with that, the problem arises when you feel the other person trying to tear them down, pushing, ignoring, or dismissing your limits. It shows a lack of respect for your individuality.
10. Different Core Values
You're inevitably going to have differences with the person you date. However, if your core values don't align, it will only make things difficult further down the road.
Now that we've covered the early signs that your new relationship is doomed to fail, let's talk about the indications that you've met "the one."
1. You Communicate Effortlessly
Good communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship. As such, if you and your partner communicate openly, easily, and honestly, without a filter, you're well set-up for a long and happy relationship.
2. They Calm You Down
If your partner has the power to calm you down when you're upset instead of exacerbating things, it indicates that they're a positive presence in your life. They're so in tune with your emotions that they know just what to say and how to handle your emotions.
3. You Can Be Alone Together
It's just as important to be able to share a comfortable silence with your partner as it is to have lively conversations. Otherwise, you'll feel like you constantly have to be "on" when you get together, and you won't feel totally relaxed.
4. There's A Mutual Respect
Respect is profoundly important for relationships. Even if you're super attracted to the person, it means nothing if you don't respect them in other aspects that you value.
5. Being With Them Feels Like Home
If they're your soulmate, being with them, no matter where you are, will feel like home. The easy connection and inexplicable feeling that you've known them forever will make it feel like you can be completely comfortable, open, and free.
6. They Challenge You
Finding your soulmate isn't about finding someone who agrees with everything you say. After all, you're two different people with different opinions and perspectives. You'll lose interest if you don't feel challenged.
7. You Bring Out The Best In Each Other
Your soulmate should inspire you to be the best version of yourself. You should prop each other up and encourage each other to grow.
8. You Have Chemistry
Finding your soulmate isn't just about finding someone you're compatible with. You need chemistry, too. Chemistry is the fiery, romantic, and passionate click that occurs inexplicably between two people.
9. You Can't Imagine A Life Without Them
When dating someone who's not your soulmate, it can be tricky to even plan an event together a month or two in the future. On the flip side, when you've met your soulmate, it becomes difficult to imagine your life without them.
10. You Have Shared Values
You don't have to (and inevitably won't) agree on everything, but your core values should more or less align. They are your fundamental beliefs about things like family, ethics, and future aspirations.
