Why Relationships Fall Apart
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but when the problems spiral and become too big to ignore, they can cause permanent rifts—or even lead to a breakup. From poor communication to a lack of emotional support, there are many reasons why couples decide to call it quits. But it doesn't always have to end that way. Remember: a relationship is a two-way street, and it takes constant effort from both sides to keep it healthy and happy. Here are 10 common reasons why couples fall apart, and 10 ways to save a relationship that's on the brink.
1. Communication Issues
One of the most common reasons why couples break apart is due to communication issues. You may constantly get into arguments or conflicts with your partner without ever attempting to fully work through or resolve them, instead letting them fester into something bigger until it's too much to bear. Sometimes, you might even choose to stay completely silent, which only makes the situation worse.
2. Financial Problems
Another common reason why couples break up is because of money. You and your partner may have different spending habits that clash and cause tension, or you may have completely different financial goals. Other times, it may be due to financial stress, such as being the only one working and supporting the relationship or family.
3. Trust Issues
Trust, honesty, and respect are the top three pillars that hold up a relationship and keep it strong. Break one of these pillars, and you might find it hard to save your relationship. After all, if you're always suspicious of your partner and are often left to wonder where they are or whether they're telling you the truth, you'll likely want to let go to avoid feeling constantly drained and stressed.
4. Jealousy or Controlling Behavior
No one wants to have a partner who's always jealous of everyone you're with or controls who you see. This kind of toxic behavior will quickly sour an otherwise healthy relationship, and will eventually lead to a breakup if habits and personalities don't change.
5. Lack of Emotional Support
Feeling unsupported by your partner in a relationship can cause major rifts to form as well. If you're often left to shoulder your problems, thoughts, and feelings on your own, you might feel as if you're not worth your partner's time and effort, which can lead to a breakup.
6. Misdirected Anger
Life can get tough, but if you're taking out your anger on your partner when they had nothing to do with it, then don't be surprised if your relationship starts to unravel. Much like poor communication, misdirected anger can quickly create a toxic dynamic—one that's draining and unfair for both people involved.
7. Intimacy Issues
It's not just a lack of emotional support that can cause a relationship to break apart—a lack of physical affection can lead to breakups, too. Issues with intimacy can create feelings of neglect, frustration, or even resentment, leaving one or both partners feeling dissatisfied or unwanted.
8. Infidelity
If trust issues can create major rifts in a relationship, then it's no surprise that infidelity breaks couples up. After all, it's one thing to lie about minor things, but it's an entirely different thing to be physically intimate with someone else who's not your partner.
9. Addiction or Substance Abuse
Harmful lifestyle choices, whether it's gambling, drinking, or drug use, can cause a relationship to unravel and fray, especially when no effort is put in to stop this behavior. A good partner will be supportive and get you the help you need, but if you fall back into your habits time and time again, it may make them want to walk away.
10. Different Life or Relationship Goals
Sometimes, though, couples may break up simply because they've grown apart. Or maybe they realize that they have different life paths or relationship goals that no longer align, and it feels easier to part ways than to continue forcing something that won't work.
But what if you do want to save a struggling relationship? Here are 10 tips that might help:
1. Establish Open Communication
Instead of giving your partner the silent treatment whenever you're angry, upset, or sad, let them know how you really feel. Talk through your arguments and conflicts calmly and maturely, and don't just say "I'm fine" when you're not. The more you build strong, open communication with your partner, the less likely minor mishaps are to cause major rifts to form.
2. Rebuild Trust
You should never feel the need to lie to your partner. Just as you should establish open communication, it's also important to build trust and respect between you both, so that things like jealousy and misunderstandings don't come between your bond. You want to feel like you can always rely on your partner to keep their promises and be transparent.
3. Set & Align Goals
If you and your partner's goals start to shift away from each other, it's important to come together and discuss how to better align them so that you're both on the right track and page. Many relationships, even healthy ones, require compromise, which is why communication and honesty are key.
4. Spend Quality Time Together
Make sure to spend plenty of quality time together so that neither of you feels neglected or unsupported. Schedule a weekly dinner date, a weekend movie night, or make an effort to see each other each day after work, however brief.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
Remember to make your boundaries clear to your partner and to listen and respect theirs, too. This will help ensure that you don't ever feel like you're constantly sacrificing too much to the point where you feel drained or unappreciated.
6. Know When to Apologize
When you're in the wrong, always remember to apologize and take full responsibility for it. Don't dance around the issue and assume that your partner will be okay with it or let it go. Be mature, be honest, and own up to your mistakes when you make them.
7. Practice Forgiveness
On the other hand, if your partner does something wrong but apologizes and makes up for it, it's important to practice forgiveness and not let resentment fester. Otherwise, you'll never fully resolve your conflicts, and your partner might feel as if they always need to walk on eggshells around you, which isn't healthy.
8. Address Conflict Without Blame
Whenever you do address conflicts with each other, make sure to do so without immediately pointing fingers or shifting blame. You want to approach the conversation constructively so that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, not add more fuel to the fire.
9. Improve Yourself
If you know you regularly engage in not-so-healthy habits—like drinking, gambling, and drug use—and these lifestyle choices are the reason why your relationship may be fraught, it may be time to work on yourself. Show your partner that you're willing to put in the effort, and that they can trust you in the long run.
10. Seek Professional Help
If you and your partner are still having trouble seeing eye-to-eye but want to make the relationship work, it may help to seek professional support. Couples therapy can provide a safe space for both of you to talk through tough issues, learn healthier communication tools, and gain better perspective, which can allow you to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond.
