The holiday season is a time of fun, traditions, and reflection. It's also when we have to spend a lot of time with our family, which can make the holidays even more stressful and cause old conflicts to surface. Ultimately, spending time with your family over the holidays will test your patience and make you count the days until the new year.
Don't worry, you can survive the holidays with your sanity intact and without causing already-strained relationships to worsen. You just need to adopt the right mindset and take a few strategies to set boundaries and enjoy the holidays as much as possible.
Let's look at three ways to handle your family over the upcoming holiday season.
Be Prepared and Manage Expectations
Much of the holiday stress comes from expecting the occasion to be perfect and without hiccups. We picture peaceful meals filled with laughter, heartfelt conversations with a cousin we haven't seen in years, and moments you want to capture on camera.
Here's the reality: kids can be cranky, relatives will say whatever they want, and there will be a lot of topics that you wish weren't mentioned. There's always one aunt who promises to bring something, but forgets. Be prepared and a little flexible to reduce your frustration. Meal assignments, house rules, and clear schedules can be your best friends.
You need to have realistic expectations to free yourself from possible disappointment. It might even let you see the humor in some of the chaos.
Set Clear Boundaries Respectfully
There is a silent, simmering pressure to please everyone over the holidays, even at the expense of your enjoyment. Your in-laws might expect you to host, or your siblings can't stop unloading their emotional turmoil at the table. There's also a relative or two who can't resist controversial topics.
Setting boundaries is necessary. This can prevent fights and create some semblance of harmony. Setting boundaries doesn't mean shutting people out. It means clearly defining what you are offering and what is off-limits.
Communicate your boundaries early and kindly. Conflits often arise when boundaries are unclear or delivered in the heat of the moment.
Connection Trumps Perfection
Relationships are what matter, not seasonal decorations or serving the most elaborate meal. Shifting your attention from micromanaging the environment to connecting with your family will decrease your stress.
Focus on small interactions, rather than big gestures. You can take a short walk with a family member, converse while prepping dinner, or share a laugh or a childhood memory. These small things can strengthen bonds more than a flawless dinner can.
Most importantly, remember that patience goes a long way. Everyone brings their stress and expectations to the holidays, so a little empathy and flexibility can go a long way.
You are more than equipped to handle your family over he holidays. You just need the right mix of preparation, boundaries, and compassion. Manage your expectations, communicate your preferences and limits, and concentrate on the more meaningful moments.
