Things You'll Need to Give Up After Saying "I Do"
You've probably heard that you shouldn't need to change yourself for someone if they love you for who you are, but the truth is, after you tie the knot, there are some things you'll inevitably need to let go of. Marriage, after all, brings major shifts and adjustments. For both the bride and the groom, here are 10 things women will need to give up after marriage and 10 things men will need to let go of.
1. Assuming Your Partner Can Read Minds
The first thing women will need to let go of after getting married is the assumption that their partner can read their minds. If you're upset about something your partner did, don't give them the silent treatment and hope that they can figure out what they need to apologize for. Just be honest and let them know.
2. Flirting for Free Drinks
If you're used to flirting with men at clubs, bars, and other establishments for free drinks and eats, it's time to stop. Even if you think it's harmless because your heart isn't really in it and you get something out of it, you're married now. Drop the act out of respect for your partner.
3. Making Decisions Alone
This isn't to say that you'll need to get your partner's opinion for every choice you need to make, but big decisions—think financial planning and work relocation—will need to go through both of you. If you're starting a family, that also warrants a sit-down discussion.
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4. Holding Onto Grudges
Just like how you shouldn't assume your partner can read minds, you should also stop holding onto grudges. Again, if there's something your partner did that you're unhappy about and it's been weighing heavily on your mind, let them know. Communication is crucial in a committed relationship, especially in marriage.
5. Neglecting Self-Care
Marriage comes with more responsibilities and challenges, but that doesn't mean you should neglect self-care. Make sure to carve out time during the day to engage in activities you enjoy, whether that's yoga, journaling, reading, or catching up with friends.
6. Toxic Friendships
You shouldn't ever feel the need to give up your friendships for your partner, because your world shouldn't solely revolve around your partner. However, if you're friends with someone who likes to plant seeds of doubt in your head or regularly criticizes happily married couples, you might want to rethink whether they're worth keeping in your life.
7. Comparing Your Relationship to Others
Everyone is different, and so are their relationships. If you constantly compare your marriage to your friends and strangers on social media, you're only going to make yourself feel miserable. Find happiness and balance with your partner in your own way.
8. Broadcasting Your Life on Social Media
Unless your partner is okay with it, you should stop posting every single moment of your daily life on social media, where millions of eyes can see it. If you're simply doing video diaries of yourself, that should be fine, but anything that involves personal stories about your partner shouldn't go up on the web if they don't agree to it.
9. Keeping Score
Both of you share responsibilities, and it's time to ditch the mentality that everything needs to be purely equal and recorded on a scoreboard. While no one should feel like they're the one doing all the work, it's childish to treat everything as a competition.
10. Trying to "Fix" Your Partner
Your partner is their own person, with their own likes, dislikes, and interests, so stop trying to change everything that makes them uniquely them. You're married now—love your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be.
But what about things men will need to let go of after marriage? Let's jump into the 10 major ones they'll need to give up.
1. Rigid Gender Roles
Ditch the archaic mentality that women need to cook, clean, and parent. You're part of this marriage, and that means you share these responsibilities. If you don't know how to cook, search up a recipe and learn how to. Don't make excuses.
2. The Bachelor Mentality
The bachelor mentality that you're still doing everything solo needs to go. Now that you're married, the decisions you make affect your partner as well, so don't leave them out of the loop. Even if you're planning things last-minute—like adopting a pet or traveling with a friend—you'll need to let your partner know about it, too.
3. Suppressing Emotions
Bottling up your emotions isn't going to do you any good in the long run, so unlearn the mindset that showing vulnerability is a kind of weakness. Suffering alone and shutting your partner out is only going to create more friction in your relationship. Don't be afraid of letting your partner in and allowing them to see the real you.
4. Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Just as you shouldn't suppress your emotions, you also shouldn't run away from difficult conversations. Being vulnerable can be scary, but it's necessary to build connection, stability, and maturity. Instead of taking the easy way out and sweeping things under the rug, talk it out with your partner.
5. Guys' Night
Even if your partner doesn't have the same interests as you do, that doesn't mean you can ditch your responsibilities just to do game nights with your friends. While this doesn't mean you need to completely give up your friendships, moderation is key. You don't want your partner to feel like you're spending all your time somewhere else.
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6. Excessive Gaming
This might not apply to you if you're not into gaming, but for those who are, you need to shelve the late-night gaming sessions. Your partner may tolerate it on the surface, but if it's taking away quality time together or interfering with other aspects of your shared life, it's time to put the controller down.
7. Bringing Up Old Relationships
You wouldn't want your partner to flaunt all their past relationships in your face, so don't do it to them. Bringing up your exes will only raise suspicion and cause friction in your marriage, so avoid mentioning names and faces.
8. Unhealthy Habits
If you're a heavy drinker or smoker, it's time to rid yourself of the habit. Instead, find healthier ones to enjoy alone or with your partner, such as joining a fitness class together. The last thing you want is for your bad habits to negatively affect your marriage.
9. Letting Ego Rule
It's time to drop the mindset that you always "need to be right." If you're in the wrong, let go of your ego and apologize. No one wants to be married to someone who lacks maturity, and if you're constantly letting your pride get in the way, you risk fraying your relationship.
10. Taking Your Partner for Granted
It's easy to slip into a routine after marriage, but you should never forget to show your partner just how much you appreciate and love them. Show up and make time, even if it's something small. Your actions can go a long way.
