The Typical Workplace Cast
When you've been in the workforce for a while, you've seen it all, and you know exactly who's who. You know who's going to be the gossiper, who's the social butterfly, who's the boss's pet. You might even know which label you fall under. Ready to meet the whole cast? Here are 20 types of coworkers you're guaranteed to meet.
1. The Gossiper
Everyone knows a coworker who's a gossiper. This is the person who's always in the know about everything, about everyone. No one is safe if your secret gets shared with them. And while they certainly keep things interesting (the new hire is dating who?!), it can get a bit annoying when rumors spread like wildfire.
Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels
2. The Social Butterfly
This is the person who's either friends with everyone or wants to be friends with everyone. The person who greets everyone with a chirpy "good morning" as soon as they clock in. The one who's telling you every detail of what happened over their weekend when you're just trying to get a snack. It's great if you like to chat and work with others who also do, but if you're in an office full of introverts with only one social-butterfly extrovert... Oh, boy.
3. The Quiet One
The opposite of the social butterfly is the quiet one. This is the introvert of introverts, the one who probably wishes they could stay at home and work remotely if it were an option. Most of the time, you're lucky if you can even pull two words from them.
4. The Boss's Pet
You thought you escaped the teacher's pet when you graduated? Think again. Now you'll need to deal with the boss's pet, too, who basically will do anything to get on the boss's good side. This is the person speaking up every meeting to share their 20-minute thought, and the one who makes horrible daily suggestions like, "Who wants to stay overtime?"
5. The Overachiever
A step below the boss's pet is the overachiever. This is the person who will also go above and beyond, but they're not always doing it for the attention. They might, however, do it to brag, because there's pride in doing your work better than everyone else.
6. The Health Nut
If you see some murky smoothie thing in the office, don't ask—it probably belongs to the health nut. And not only are they eating salads and questionable-looking protein shakes every day, their daily routine also consists of waking up at 4AM to gym before work.
7. The Late One
You can probably count on one hand the number of times this person has ever clocked in when work started. It takes a lot of guts to be the tardy one, too, given that they either have to assume their boss is too lenient to care that they're a few minutes late or live life on the edge because they could be fired by the next morning. It's a gamble every time.
8. The Flirt
The thing about the flirt is that they cannot take a hint. Sure, you know they're not serious because they flirt with everyone, but no matter what you say to them, they will not quit. Honestly, you're probably learning more pick-up lines from them than from the internet.
9. The Wannabe Comedian
The office clown might first start out by throwing a joke every now and then, just to test the waters. But before you know it, they've evolved: they're not only a full-time employee—they're a wannabe Jerry Seinfeld. Sure, sometimes their material is funny, but most of the time, you kind of just wish they kept their mouth shut.
OurWhisky Foundation on Unsplash
10. The Lazy One
The opposite of the overachiever is the lazy one. Every time you pass by their desk, they're either taking their 10th "power nap" of the day or playing games on their phone. They sometimes get their stuff finished on time, but that's only because they defer most of their responsibilities to someone else.
11. The Wannabe Singer
You've likely either met a coworker who's a great singer and actually does music on the side, or a terrible singer and should never open their mouth again. The wannabe singer is the person who likes to blast their favorite song and pretend like they're auditioning for American Idol.
12. Everyone's Crush
You have the office flirt—and then you have the person who's everyone's crush. This is the coworker who probably gets asked out 20 times a week because they're so drop-dead gorgeous. In fact, most of the time, you're wondering why they're working here and not gracing the face of big-name magazines.
13. The Passive-Aggressive Emailer
Hi, John, I hope this email finds you well, even though I'm unsure when you'll actually find it. The passive-aggressive emailer is a great coworker to have when you want advice on how to add some sassy zing to your compositions, but you definitely wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of their rapid-fire typing.
Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash
14. The Ancient
This is the office senior who you're sure probably started working here before you were even born. In a way, they make you feel hopeful: maybe this is a workplace with such a great culture that you'll end up staying for life, too. But in reality, the boss probably hired their own grandparent.
15. The Complainer
Every time your boss brings up a new project or task to tackle, the complainer is already speaking up to, well, complain. Maybe the deadline is too soon; maybe the work is too much. Whatever it is, they'll find something to protest about.
16. The MIA
Worse than the late one, the MIA (missing in action) person is the one who's literally never there. You're pretty sure you've seen their empty desk more often than you've seen their face. No one even bothers to message them, either; you're lucky if you get a response from them two days later.
17. The Know-It-All
The know-it-all is even more insufferable than the overachiever. The latter, at least, is a try-hard who might keep their accomplishments to themselves. But the know-it-all is usually in your face about everything, always making sure to correct you, talk over you, or get the last say. This is the person you don't want to debate with, because even when you're right, you're wrong.
18. The Office Mom/Dad
The office mom or dad is usually the one handing out homemade food or giving you pep talks like you're their actual kid. Honestly, it's welcomed: they're the ones you might go to for advice sometimes, after all. Plus, you probably see them more than your actual parents at this point.
19. The Clueless One
This is the person who never knows what's going on. You're pretty sure they're coming into work with only one functioning brain cell every day, but you're not the boss, so you keep your opinions to yourself. One thing you do know is to never ask them about anything, because you're most likely just going to get a confused stare in return.
ANTONI SHKRABA production on Pexels
20. The Nice One
Ah, the nice one. Everyone wants to have a nice coworker. To some, they might label this person as the "boring" coworker, but you'll take kindness over... almost everything else on this list. At least you can rely on this person whenever you need help or need someone to vent to.
