The dating pool is tough—online apps and social media prevalence brought a lot of shallow “must-have” lists to the forefront, but that doesn’t mean you should listen to them. Wooing women isn’t about being an “alpha male,” it’s about being kind and honest. With that, here are the 20 qualities women look for most in a partner.
1. Humor
The ability to make a woman laugh is a strong trait to have. Women want a relationship with someone who has a good sense of humor and sees the lighter side of life. Plus, you want to share some smiles with the person you’re planning to spend this much time with.
2. Good Communication
You’ll never get anywhere without communication, regardless of what your relationship looks like. Speak openly and don’t be afraid to express yourself.
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3. Kindness
“Nice guys finish last” is a phrase we’d like to immediately retire. In truth, women would rather spend time with the guy who wears his heart on his sleeve, not the one who plays mind games or “acts tough.”
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4. Confidence
It’s a fine line between confident and cocky, but those who have mastered the tightrope know how beneficial confidence is. It’s easier said than done, but don’t sell yourself short on dates. On the flip side, don’t go out of your way to show off either.
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5. Good Listener
Active listening is sought after in any relationship, though it’s arguably one of the most important traits in a romantic one. Be sure you ask follow-up questions and take a legitimate interest in what she’s saying. Romantic interests appreciate someone who actually cares.
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6. Trustworthiness
Being honest and dependable are just some of the ways to show off how trustworthy you are. When you’re reliable, it allows the relationship to blossom and shows you’re willing to put in the extra effort.
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7. Sensitivity
There’s nothing wrong with a little sensitivity! In fact, it shows women that you trust them enough to be vulnerable and that you’re not committed to the macho man lifestyle.
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8. Respect
Everyone wants respect, especially the person you’re dating. Don’t make a woman feel like she’s your second choice or that she’s easily disposable. Put in the time to be with her and make sure she feels appreciated.
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9. Compassion
Compassion will get you way farther with a woman than the gym or a good suit ever would. Women want to make sure they can talk to you about their feelings, and when you actively listen without judgment, it’s a good way to show they’re safe around you.
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10. Maturity
Goofy guys are one thing, but immature ones who take nothing seriously are a red flag. Let her know the relationship matters to you. Have a good head on your shoulders. Speak with her honestly and openly. If your idea of a good relationship means no compromise or no moving forward, don’t be surprised if she loses interest.
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11. Passion
We don’t mean the kind of passion that scares her away. We’re talking about the passion for your hobbies, the kind of passion you have when discussing school or your favorite band. Showing an interest entices women more than you think, and they’re often willing to listen because they’re happy to be included!
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12. Faithfulness
This is a no-brainer, but staying faithful in a relationship is a must. If you consensually have an open relationship, no problem! But if you’re the only one with a different definition of monogamy, she’ll kick you to the curb right quick.
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13. Vulnerability
The more you get to know someone, the more you should share with them. In a healthy relationship, you and a partner will reveal experiences, hopes, and dreams—and you should strive to do so! Being vulnerable shows you trust her, and breaking down the walls goes a long way.
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14. Financial Stability
We all fall on hard times and there’s no shame in being between jobs or apartments. It’s only when you’re able to put in the effort, but don’t, that you run the risk of lost interest. Not only that, but being reckless with money isn't great either because it shows that you haven't given much thought to the future.
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15. Patience
Whether it’s in the relationship or with those around you, patience is a good trait to have. Don’t lose your temper with waitstaff or get snippy if someone fails to properly express themselves.
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16. Chilvalry
Opening the door or standing on the side of traffic are just some of the small gestures with big results. Chivalry is something the vast majority of women will appreciate, especially in today’s day and age when it seems like a lost art altogether.
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17. Romance
Don’t leave all the grand gestures to the woman. Women love to be swept off their feet, even if it's in little ways. No one’s saying you have to declare love in skywriting, but a romantic dinner or backrub after work is always a good idea.
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18. Intelligence
You don’t need to be the smartest guy in the room, but intelligence has always been a sought-after trait. Intelligence doesn’t have to mean Shakespeare's soliloquies either—humor and intelligence are closely related, so even being funny can score you points.
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19. Well Kept
It’s not like you have to dress for the red carpet, but proper hygiene goes a long way. Basic things like grooming and smelling good show you care about your appearance.
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20. Integrity
Strong morals are good to have even when you’re not trying to woo someone. Adhering to an ethical code shows women you’re willing to step in when need be, and that you won’t turn a blind eye to injustices.
